The Fucking Thread

[icklekitty]

Yeah it was good. I reached down afterwards to get a finger full of sperm to lick (protein!) and it was brown!! We mutually agreed it was gross and I had a quick wash.

I've had an issue with penetration for a few years (I can manage it for a little while and fingers are OK but not a full session) and haven't orgasmed in about a year (documented here). It's all very psychological and I'm on the waiting list for psychosexual counselling.

[eversonpoe]

Yeah it was good. I reached down afterwards to get a finger full of sperm to lick (protein!) and it was brown!! We mutually agreed it was gross and I had a quick wash.

I've had an issue with penetration for a few years (I can manage it for a little while and fingers are OK but not a full session) and haven't orgasmed in about a year (documented here). It's all very psychological and I'm on the waiting list for psychosexual counselling.

well i hope things get better/easier/more satisfying for you.

and also, i'm glad your partner wasn't a dick (pun intended) about what happened. haha.

[Bachy]

Welp, I got laid for the first time since November

[Lew]

Had my first full sex with a penis in well over a year; my vagina muscles were so tight I pooed a bit when I came. :/

my love, if i come too hard i feel very in danger of the same...though thus far a fart is all that happens...also, sometimes i worry i will pee...not sure if that is common, plus the two kidlets i had, or what...but was the orgasm good? that is the important thing ;)

[Bachy]

The girl I've been seeing keeps saying she wants to fuck in a cemetery. I just don't know if I'm ready for that. I only just lost my virginity about a year ago.

[playwithfire]

nevermind

[Bachy]

Yeah, it's especially awkward because the nearest cemetery has my uncle buried in it. That's a little too much for me.

[allegro]

We used to go smoke pot in the wee hours in an historic cemetery when we were teens, but we treated it like the really sacred place that it was and we were very respectful.

[Bachy]

A friend invited me to a three-way. I asked the girl I'm seeing, she said no but told me to go for it :eek:

[Mantra]

why would anyone want to bang in a cemetery? sounds creepy as fuck.

plus, cemeteries have a way of instantly sending me in to an existential crisis. So instead of focusing on the sex, I'd be thinking about how someday I'll be plunged into eternal darkness, and that would definitely put a damper on the mood for me, no doubt.

"Hey what's the matter?"

"Oh sorry, got distracted thinking about how someday my dick will turn to dust."

[Ryan]

Dick will turn to dust, lmao

[playwithfire]

nevermind

[botley]

My bed is a) beautiful b) peaceful c) has a great view of the puppy crate d) is not guarded by security

[Khrz]

No breeze on your balls and starry nights tho, and you can't hear the cheers of the lost souls condemned to roam this realm forever. They do love when you shag.

[playwithfire]

nevermind

[Khrz]

Closest I got was fucking in the middle of a forest. My two cents are, bring a blanket. Ants are a lousy lay.

[allegro]

screwing in a pool is highly overrated, ugh.

but sex outdoors to me is sex on a boat with the windows open so yeah, I'm boring. but boats are to me what cemeteries are to others. I got a nautical-themed pashmina afghan.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R7yfISlGLNU

there are actually some cemeteries around here that aren't guarded at all, they just have a rope across the road entrance; mostly small and historic cemeteries. The huge commercial cemeteries are the ones that are heavily guarded. the historic cemeteries do not have any income, so they can't pay for security, they are maintained mostly by volunteers or the state.

[Bachy]

I don't think I can have sex on a firm surface. I need something soft.

[allegro]

Our boat has a queen-size innerspring mattress in the aft cabin with a lot of pillows. The gentle rocking of the boat can put you to sleep before you actually have sex, so there's that drawback ...

I know you're kinda new at this, but you've never had sex standing up? That requires no surface at all. You can screw upright against a tree.

Here's a Cosmo Instructional Video complete with public performance art and ratings (https://www.amazon.com/Standing-Positions-Attempted-Real-People/dp/B01IG0EGZK).

[Khrz]

I don't think I can have sex on a firm surface. I need something soft.

Awwwww, where's the fun in that... I mean, unless you're living in a padded cell.

[elevenism]

allegro that "i'm on a boat" video is so fucking funny.

As for me, i don't get nearly enough sex. The compression fractures make it painful, the medicines decrease sex drive, and my wife hasn't cared much about sex since she got sick.
I'm a little worried about our marriage. I mean, we are INSANELY respectful and we are utterly down for each other. I don't mean that i'm worried about a divorce. I just mean that i've heard that once you lose that part of a relationship, it's damn hard to get it back.

And i don't think my wife gets it. I want spontaneity. i want us to WANT each other like crazy.
But when i bring it up, she says something like "oh, okay. I will blow you tonight at 8pm, after we watch the movie," and i'm not exaggerating. She quite literally says and does this sort of thing.

I know that the "ohmygodihavetobetouchingyouallthetime" thing can wane in relationships, DOES wane in general, and we are at like 4.5 years, which is my longest relationship by far. But i don't think it should be THIS bad.

I don't know how to fix it. I want to fix it.

[Mantra]

And i don't think my wife gets it. I want spontaneity. i want us to WANT each other like crazy.
But when i bring it up, she says something like "oh, okay. I will blow you tonight at 8pm, after we watch the movie," and i'm not exaggerating. She quite literally says and does this sort of thing.

Maybe she's just like that? Some people are. Their brains are always planning and scheduling and organizing shit even when they're on their free time.

[elevenism]

Maybe she's just like that? Some people are. Their brains are always planning and scheduling and organizing shit even when they're on their free time.
perhaps. but she didn't used to be that way.
she got a brain infection that totally changed her personality.

[Bachy]

Awwwww, where's the fun in that... I mean, unless you're living in a padded cell.

I'm still getting my feet wet, so to speak.

[allegro]

perhaps. but she didn't used to be that way.
she got a brain infection that totally changed her personality.
Maybe you just need intimacy on a regular basis which can LEAD TO sex. Or not. Whatever. I think people think that day-to-day lives should "include" sex even if it includes zero to little intimacy. Which is bullshit. "Friends" suddenly humping is just boring. We have to remember to include real intimacy in our day-to-day lives once we are married.

[elevenism]

Maybe you just need intimacy on a regular basis which can LEAD TO sex. Or not. Whatever. I think people think that day-to-day lives should "include" sex even if it includes zero to little intimacy. Which is bullshit. "Friends" suddenly humping is just boring. We have to remember to include real intimacy in our day-to-day lives once we are married.
Define intimacy in this case. Are we talking like deep conversation or cuddling?
I agree with you about the friends fucking and the one night stands. For me they were always vapid and empty, unless i was VERY close to the friend.

[allegro]

Define intimacy in this case. Are we talking like deep conversation or cuddling?
Um, both? Hand-holding, touching, hugging, kissing, affection, love-talking, all those things that distinguish her from "sister" and make her "partner" and "your love," and vice-versa. People getting into bed at 10 pm and suddenly wanting sex when they've treated each other like platonic friends or business partners for the rest of the day/week/whatever is what counselors say makes spouses avoid sex and causes trouble in the marriage. Regular intimacy (kissing, snuggling, cuddling, touching, hand-holding, putting your arm around her, etc.) makes sex more natural, a natural progression from the regular daily intimacy, makes partners feel like they are true partners, desired, valued, loved.

Sudden (scheduled) sex leaves this underlying impression: "leave the money on the dresser."

[Khrz]

Intimacy as in bond, complicity elevenism. Chatting, touching, laughing, sharing moments etc :)

There's no huge secret to sex life, there needs to be a bond, trust, love and these things need to be nurtured constantly, they're never set in stone. And it's not always easy to either have the time or be in the mood for cultivating this, life has this tendency for entropy. Being in a relationship also means fighting back that current.

[elevenism]

thank you allegro and Khrz . we are definitely spending too much time on either edge of the bed, me reading, her watching some quaint british show with headphones on lately.

[Khrz]

It's not just in the bed though, make sure to make some time together, talk about your day, discuss stuff. Just, constantly show that you care for her, for each other.

Life has been rough lately I think, and maybe you both got too worried, anxious, focused on this, and forgot to nurture the simple things. Those things take a toll on a relationship, and they do it sneakily. Try to have fun together, enjoy each other.

[elevenism]

@Khrz (http://www.echoingthesound.org/community/member.php?u=2023) , ever since my wife started having these seizures, like ALL of our together time is spent in the bed.

this also could have to do with us being lazy entitled american young gen xers/old millennials :P

but you are right about life being rough lately and it means a lot to me that you noticed.

thank you again.

[Lew]

Our boat has a queen-size innerspring mattress in the aft cabin with a lot of pillows. The gentle rocking of the boat can put you to sleep before you actually have sex, so there's that drawback ...

I know you're kinda new at this, but you've never had sex standing up? That requires no surface at all. You can screw upright against a tree.

Here's a Cosmo Instructional Video complete with public performance art and ratings (https://www.amazon.com/Standing-Positions-Attempted-Real-People/dp/B01IG0EGZK).

ha!!! that was, in my younger years, the pinnacle of "crazy" sex. sex against a tree. i was pretty impressed with myself, i must confess. lololololol. (shoulda been impressed with him, since he was the one with the idea and spontaneity, but i was a prudish "slut", so i was far more impressed that i didn't mumble some excuses and hot foot it back to my cabin..."ummm...what if someone comes along? what if a bear attacks us? what if we get poisoned ivy rashes? what if ANTS (lolol)?? what if....)

[Sarah K]

Got home at about noon with my panties in my pocket. Good night!

[Harry Seaward]

The girl I've been seeing keeps saying she wants to fuck in a cemetery.

Dooo it.


I'd never allow myself to be buried in the ground just so some horny adventurous kids could screw on my grave one day, I know that much..

I'd never be buried because I think the entire concept and ceremony of 'burial' is the absolute dumbest and most irrational of the ancient traditions we still keep around. I can't imagine a single reason a person would spend so fucking much money for something that's entirely ceremonial and traditional with no hint of practicality to be found. At least most of our other absurd traditionals have practical reasoning to them, like marriage. Anyway, I'm preaching.

I would never get buried, but if I were to, the only reason would be so horny adventurous kids would fuck on my grave. That sounds fucking awesome.


why would anyone want to bang in a cemetery? sounds creepy as fuck.

Shrug, it's just a thing that people find inherently hot. Death is a 'sexy' idea, in the abstract.

[Khrz]

I can't imagine a single reason a person would spend so fucking much money for something that's entirely ceremonial and traditional with no hint of practicality to be found.

Burials aren't for the dead, but for the living. We can't let go like this, and usually need some more time to cope, through rituals we express our love and respect for the ones we lost, it gives us some time to "feel" them, feel like they're here, while we process the whole concept of someone's sudden lack of presence.
That ritual may not be logistically efficient but that's hardly the point.

[elevenism]

allegro and Khrz , just one day of your suggestions put things right back where they belong.

i really appreciate it. even though the answer was so simple, the routine had obscured it.

[eversonpoe]

Burials aren't for the dead, but for the living. We can't let go like this, and usually need some more time to cope, through rituals we express our love and respect for the ones we lost, it gives us some time to "feel" them, feel like they're here, while we process the whole concept of someone's sudden lack of presence.
That ritual may not be logistically efficient but that's hardly the point.

not that this is the right thread, but i understand what you mean. however, i don't think that requires a burial, simply a funeral. i think the ceremony of a funeral can be a beautiful thing, and i've always wanted mine to be a celebration of my life, not a mourning of my passing. that's a bit cliche, i know, but it's true.

back on topic - my wife and i have been having A LOT of sex because we are now actively trying to make a baby. i also haven't told anyone that but ONE friend, so, you know, feel special, everyone ;)
it has been really nice, especially because i require physical intimacy to maintain emotional intimacy, and i had been feeling a bit distant occasionally for the last couple months.

[Bachy]

Has anyone ever accidentally burped or been the recipient of a burp while making out?

[eversonpoe]

Has anyone ever accidentally burped or been the recipient of a burp while making out?

yes. my ex also once farted while i was going down on her and thought it was hilarious. i did not.

[Khrz]

yes. my ex also once farted while i was going down on her and thought it was hilarious. i did not.

Aw come on, it totally is. Of all the bad circumstances when you might inadvertently drop one, that has to be one of the worst... You pretty much have to laugh.

[playwithfire]

I've got ocd around bathroom-related stuff, so the potential for that to bother me feels like it should be a thing, but thankfully it isn't. During sex I have a "bodies do things and sometimes it's funny and inconvenient" mindset.

If I farted while someone is going down on me I'd super apologize but if it happened to me I'd laugh and want to come up for air.

But then, eversonpoe's exes all sound not-great so I feel like that happened within context of already being not good.

[Khrz]

Yeah, emphasis on the "inadvertently", for instance. Being gross or generally abusive just because you can is no laughing matter, even for something as silly as bodily functions.

The way I envision it, sex (in a healthy relationship) is the point where you're the most open and vulnerable, so you have to be extra accepting. One day my ex (who was never a great fan of body fluids, even hers) just covered my hand with blood, surprise period in the middle of the night. She was absolutely dismayed, while I just laughed it off, took the sheets and washed them in the bathtub (we were on a trip and had rented an apartment).

Sex can be super messy, and loud, and bodies are weird. If you start to frown or pause when weird stuff happens, you're not going to have a lot of it...

[playwithfire]

OH OH OH Bachy

If you ever burp during a makeout session, blow the air out of your mouth (not towards your partner) before you start kissing again. Trust me. Helps a lot. Everyone should do this.

[Bachy]

OH OH OH @Bachy (http://www.echoingthesound.org/community/member.php?u=3010)

If you ever burp during a makeout session, blow the air out of your mouth (not towards your partner) before you start kissing again. Trust me. Helps a lot. Everyone should do this.

Well, I did already do that, and no problem there. Because we both laughed uncontrollably for about two minutes before we started up again.

[elevenism]

Once i was in a long term relationship. I was like 28 and she was like 20, and a very innocent 20 at that.
We hadn't seen each other in like 6 months. I had gone all out, taken her to an expensive restaurant, covered the bed with rose petals, had the room bathed in candle light, that sort of thing.

And she was going down on me, and i kind of twisted around to reciprocate in tandem. Right as my face approached her nether regions, she produced like a hilariously loud, resounding fart. I'm talking about the kind of fart that boys try to muster up in dorms at summer camp.
Personally, i thought it was hilarious. I'm laughing right now thinking about it.
But i thought SHE was gonna DIE of embarrassment. :):):) so damned funny.

As for surprise blood, i've experienced a LOT of that. I always wondered if the fucking had induced it, or i was lied to about imminent periods.

[Bachy]

As for surprise blood, i've experienced a LOT of that. I always wondered if the fucking had induced it, or i was lied to about imminent periods.

Funny that you mention that. My birthday was last week, and the girl that I've been seeing and I had planned to hang out. Unfortunately for me, Aunt Flo just flew into town that very morning. So apart from some heavy making out, nothing happened.

I had a Seinfeld-like moment in my head thinking, "I missed out on the birthday sex!"

[playwithfire]

Funny that you mention that. My birthday was last week, and the girl that I've been seeing and I had planned to hang out. Unfortunately for me, Aunt Flo just flew into town that very morning. So apart from some heavy making out, nothing happened.

I had a Seinfeld-like moment in my head thinking, "I missed out on the birthday sex!"


Does she dislike period sex or is it a you thing or is it mutual.

(The only thing I miss about regular periods is period sex.)

[Bachy]

Does she dislike period sex or is it a you thing or is it mutual.

(The only thing I miss about regular periods is period sex.)

She said she didn't want to. I didn't mind either way. But in the end, I respected her decision.

[Khrz]

(The only thing I miss about regular periods is period sex.)

I keep seeing that, and I might have missed something or done something wrong because that was the most sloppy sex ever was for me. On her end she was slightly uncomfortable I think (even though she encouraged it), on my end... Way too much lubrication. Also a fucking mess, and blood in the shower made me feel like Janet Leigh (okay, that part was fabulous though).

[Dra508]

But i thought SHE was gonna DIE of embarrassment. :):):) so damned funny.

As for surprise blood, i've experienced a LOT of that. I always wondered if the fucking had induced it, or i was lied to about imminent periods.

Great story! Yes, 20 year olds girls can be a bit inhibitive.

As for blood, yes, I am convinced that a mighty orgasm can contract so much to push that mense along. Yup.

[playwithfire]

I mean, I dig the blood. As long as showers have happened recentlyish, it feels really hot to me in the moment. But also, for me, my vagina and cervix just do really well and things feel great. I think that super super varies from person to person.

[elevenism]

I mean, I dig the blood. As long as showers have happened recentlyish, it feels really hot to me in the moment. But also, for me, my vagina and cervix just do really well and things feel great. I think that super super varies from person to person.
i dig the blood if there's just a little bit.
i've never done full on period sex, just period INDUCING sex. to each his/her own.

[Sarah K]

This weekend, a person made me cum for the first time since May 26th, 2014.

*praise hands*

Also, period sex is the best. Throw a towel down and power through. But I also kinda have a blood fetish. There may have been body painting with (not period)blood the other night.

[eversonpoe]

Aw come on, it totally is. Of all the bad circumstances when you might inadvertently drop one, that has to be one of the worst... You pretty much have to laugh.


But then, eversonpoe's exes all sound not-great so I feel like that happened within context of already being not good.

it's just the one that was abusive, but yeah, she constantly manipulated me using sex (generally withholding it) so the fact that she did that one one of the rare occasions we were actually being intimate and then thought it was hilarious was more than a little uncomfortable.

[Volband]

I can't seem to really enjoy sex. I am kinda tired of making the girls cum, but not getting back nearly as much enthusiasm and trying from their part. Like this girl who could only cum from clit stimulation and it took like 30 minutes and I was paying attention to her wishes on the go, but between that and the actual fucking she did not even try to give me a head. I may very well be a perverted freak, but telling a girl to blow me - unless we have already engaged in some dirty talking, but she wasn't the kind - is just not in my book. On one hand it makes me a bit self-conscious, and on the other hand, I feel like she should do it after I did "my part".

But even during the sex, when I told her to switch positions, because my physique is rather lackluster, she could only maintain being on top of me for like 2 minutes, then we switched back... Well, I was still enjoying it despite my dying breaths, but then she asked me to work on her clit with my hand too. I tried, but I'm not some porn star, it just completely messed my rhythm up, and as soon as I felt I had just lost it, I slowly pulled out while re-focusing on her again, making her cum for the second time after another half an hour. I did not want to mention that she has hands on her own.

I did not enjoy that at all (all right, slight exaggeration here), and since we are pretty much on the way of becoming established fuck buddies (first time we had sex though with each other), I did imply a few things to her at the end, but did not want to get to deep into it, because I was kinda disappointed. I could and maybe should bring it up, but to me it feels like telling what you want to be surprised with on your birthday.

My guy friends are all saying that I should be way more selfish, but it's not that easy when I'm not some sex-machine myself. Every time I think about quasi asking for something or telling someone to do something, all I think about is the possibility of me failing to perform well, after which I would look like a moron for demanding anything in the first place.

[eversonpoe]

I can't seem to really enjoy sex. I am kinda tired of making the girls cum, but not getting back nearly as much enthusiasm and trying from their part. Like this girl who could only cum from clit stimulation and it took like 30 minutes and I was paying attention to her wishes on the go, but between that and the actual fucking she did not even try to give me a head. I may very well be a perverted freak, but telling a girl to blow me - unless we have already engaged in some dirty talking, but she wasn't the kind - is just not in my book. On one hand it makes me a bit self-conscious, and on the other hand, I feel like she should do it after I did "my part".

But even during the sex, when I told her to switch positions, because my physique is rather lackluster, she could only maintain being on top of me for like 2 minutes, then we switched back... Well, I was still enjoying it despite my dying breaths, but then she asked me to work on her clit with my hand too. I tried, but I'm not some porn star, it just completely messed my rhythm up, and as soon as I felt I had just lost it, I slowly pulled out while re-focusing on her again, making her cum for the second time after another half an hour. I did not want to mention that she has hands on her own.

I did not enjoy that at all (all right, slight exaggeration here), and since we are pretty much on the way of becoming established fuck buddies (first time we had sex though with each other), I did imply a few things to her at the end, but did not want to get to deep into it, because I was kinda disappointed. I could and maybe should bring it up, but to me it feels like telling what you want to be surprised with on your birthday.

My guy friends are all saying that I should be way more selfish, but it's not that easy when I'm not some sex-machine myself. Every time I think about quasi asking for something or telling someone to do something, all I think about is the possibility of me failing to perform well, after which I would look like a moron for demanding anything in the first place.

i think you need to find a different partner who is more sexually compatible with you. not everyone is good at sex (it takes practice), and some people are just mismatched. it sounds like you two are not quite right for each other sexually.

[Volband]

i think you need to find a different partner who is more sexually compatible with you. not everyone is good at sex (it takes practice), and some people are just mismatched. it sounds like you two are not quite right for each other sexually.
Eeeey, I wouldn't make that big of a jump just yet. I'm just terrible at thinking about myself during the act, which is ironic, because in other areas of life I have no problem with being a selfish asshole.

Sure, if she would refuse to do basic things, it would be an easy no-no. But my point is not about getting head, I'm not even that stoked for it, as it can be extremely lackluster when done badly, but it bothers me that when all was said and done, the conclusion was that it was a pity I could not came. That kinda put a needle in my eye. If I can focus my attention on her and make her finish, I don't get why she did not even try, other than some handjob during kissing and such. If I couldn't finish despite actual effort being put into it, I'd understand.

I just don't know how to communicate it, because it seems like a lose-lose situation. She's a nice girl, and I don't want to sound too orderly. I mean, I can still just wait for our next meeting and see how things progress, and maybe bring up this in the heat of things, rather than some random afternoon facebook conversation.

Also, when I jumped into this whole "chase the girls" era of mine, I was so conscious about not being that guy (aw, he just finishes then leaves!!! so fed up with them!!!), that I somehow ended up on the opposite side, which is not too good either.I mean, I KNOW there are girls out there who would even get turned on by hinting at such things, being more dominating (or dominating at all maybe, to begin with). She is an absolute submissive person, I just don't know how to handle it, because without being at least a bit intoxicated, I feel bad trying to be dominating, even if I know she would enjoy it.

[allegro]

Eeeey, I wouldn't make that big of a jump just yet. I'm just terrible at thinking about myself during the act, which is ironic, because in other areas of life I have no problem with being a selfish asshole.

Sure, if she would refuse to do basic things, it would be an easy no-no. But my point is not about getting head, I'm not even that stoked for it, as it can be extremely lackluster when done badly, but it bothers me that when all was said and done, the conclusion was that it was a pity I could not came. That kinda put a needle in my eye. If I can focus my attention on her and make her finish, I don't get why she did not even try, other than some handjob during kissing and such. If I couldn't finish despite actual effort being put into it, I'd understand.

I just don't know how to communicate it, because it seems like a lose-lose situation. She's a nice girl, and I don't want to sound too orderly. I mean, I can still just wait for our next meeting and see how things progress, and maybe bring up this in the heat of things, rather than some random afternoon facebook conversation.

Also, when I jumped into this whole "chase the girls" era of mine, I was so conscious about not being that guy (aw, he just finishes then leaves!!! so fed up with them!!!), that I somehow ended up on the opposite side, which is not too good either.I mean, I KNOW there are girls out there who would even get turned on by hinting at such things, being more dominating (or dominating at all maybe, to begin with). She is an absolute submissive person, I just don't know how to handle it, because without being at least a bit intoxicated, I feel bad trying to be dominating, even if I know she would enjoy it.

But what eversonpoe said is right, when sex is a chore and seems like a drag and you have to "communicate" too much, then it usually means you're just not sexually compatible. When you and your partner truly ARE sexually compatible, you just seem to "know" what each other wants, you can communicate pretty easily, often via body language, sex seems effortless, and honestly you can be in bed for hours and it seems like minutes. When you aren't compatible, you're thinking a lot about it (or other things, like doing your grocery shopping) when you shouldn't be thinking at all, you're frustrated about stuff, you're wondering if things are going right, you feel like it isn't all that enjoyable, sometimes you're even pissed off. Look, yeah, maybe it will take a while to find another, um, date, but maybe it's worth it.

[Vertigo]

To be fair, it was your first time together. It's pretty common to be on different pages initially, and things might change with experience. She sounds like she's been fairly pro-active in getting you to get her off, so you could respond in kind, or tease her with not quite giving her what she wants until she does what you want.

Personally though, she sounds fucking exhausting. It's hard enough having someone who takes half an hour's clit work to get off - factor in how little effort she's putting in, and then wanting another half-hour's jilling, and I think most guys would be left rather unenthused.

[eversonpoe]

Eeeey, I wouldn't make that big of a jump just yet. I'm just terrible at thinking about myself during the act, which is ironic, because in other areas of life I have no problem with being a selfish asshole.

Sure, if she would refuse to do basic things, it would be an easy no-no. But my point is not about getting head, I'm not even that stoked for it, as it can be extremely lackluster when done badly, but it bothers me that when all was said and done, the conclusion was that it was a pity I could not came. That kinda put a needle in my eye. If I can focus my attention on her and make her finish, I don't get why she did not even try, other than some handjob during kissing and such. If I couldn't finish despite actual effort being put into it, I'd understand.

I just don't know how to communicate it, because it seems like a lose-lose situation. She's a nice girl, and I don't want to sound too orderly. I mean, I can still just wait for our next meeting and see how things progress, and maybe bring up this in the heat of things, rather than some random afternoon facebook conversation.

Also, when I jumped into this whole "chase the girls" era of mine, I was so conscious about not being that guy (aw, he just finishes then leaves!!! so fed up with them!!!), that I somehow ended up on the opposite side, which is not too good either.I mean, I KNOW there are girls out there who would even get turned on by hinting at such things, being more dominating (or dominating at all maybe, to begin with). She is an absolute submissive person, I just don't know how to handle it, because without being at least a bit intoxicated, I feel bad trying to be dominating, even if I know she would enjoy it.


But what @eversonpoe (http://www.echoingthesound.org/community/member.php?u=588) said is right, when sex is a chore and seems like a drag and you have to "communicate" too much, then it usually means you're just not sexually compatible. When you and your partner truly ARE sexually compatible, you just seem to "know" what each other wants, you can communicate pretty easily, often via body language, sex seems effortless, and honestly you can be in bed for hours and it seems like minutes. When you aren't compatible, you're thinking a lot about it (or other things, like doing your grocery shopping) when you shouldn't be thinking at all, you're frustrated about stuff, you're wondering if things are going right, you feel like it isn't all that enjoyable, sometimes you're even pissed off. Look, yeah, maybe it will take a while to find another, um, date, but maybe it's worth it.

yeah, allegro proves wise, as usual.

also, if you're in a relationship and you're comfortable enough with one another, it should never be an issue to say something like "hey, would you mind going down on me?" my wife and i ask each other for stuff all the time just to make sure we're both in the right mood for it.

[Volband]

But what @eversonpoe (http://www.echoingthesound.org/community/member.php?u=588) said is right, when sex is a chore and seems like a drag and you have to "communicate" too much, then it usually means you're just not sexually compatible. When you and your partner truly ARE sexually compatible, you just seem to "know" what each other wants, you can communicate pretty easily, often via body language, sex seems effortless, and honestly you can be in bed for hours and it seems like minutes. When you aren't compatible, you're thinking a lot about it (or other things, like doing your grocery shopping) when you shouldn't be thinking at all, you're frustrated about stuff, you're wondering if things are going right, you feel like it isn't all that enjoyable, sometimes you're even pissed off. Look, yeah, maybe it will take a while to find another, um, date, but maybe it's worth it.
Damn, this turned out to be way too real.

We met again on sunday, same car scenario, and God, I was annoyed so many times. Her approach, the way she handled situations, all of these which were enlarged by the fact that I actually tried even harder, and I was in fact better.

Hey, I'm obviously extra annoyed the way I get and maintain erection, as it's not ideal, and I am still exploring what works on me and what not, so saying it's her fault would be unfair, but she hardly tried her best to compensate. I do everything seamlessly, and if she softly moves my hand somewhere, I get the message. But her? I was told (by others) to be more direct about the blowjob thing, so I was! After I put on the condom, I told her, but she said she'd rather not, because she's afraid the condom might get damaged. What the hell, it could've been pulled off (just opened it), or put on another one after, but I got so annoyed, that I did not want to risk arguing there before anything happened. But of course, the whole time it was on my mind, and even when the condom was off later, she did not do it - of course, that time I did not even bother asking or implying, fuck that shit. And yes, she admitted one time she loves doing it, and yes, I've been gone down on, so if I had some kind of problem, like foul odor or something, someone would've at least acted weirdly. Ahh...

The cherry on the top was the way she handled when I got soft. Like, I swallowed my pride for the greater good, and instead of pretending that pushing with a barely erect dick is the best possible thing for her (not saying she faked it, but still, I knew it could've been better), and rather spent 2 minutes on getting it up again, by making out or something, and she asked me more than one time what's wrong. DSJDASLKJYLJDYSLKDASJLDASJLDASJDLASJDASLDAS Don't fucking do that, unless it doesn't work at all. I'm in a car breaking all my bones simultaneously, sweat drops falling down from my hair, head basically everywhere, you are just enjoying what you are getting, and on top of that you ask me that?!

You know, the worst thing is that I do not know what could I even tell her during sex, because she has an extremely thin skin, so I don't feel confident at all. I was frowned upon when I told a girl friend of mine that I find nice girls boring, but damn, at least I can be frank with them without being afraid she will throw a tantrum.

Ahhh... frustration all around.

[playwithfire]

nevermind

[Bachy]

So the girl I've been seeing and I kind of had a mutual parting of the ways the other night. It went over so well we wound up having, I guess you could call it break-up sex? A farewell fuck sounds better considering the alliteration. Probably one of the more pleasant break-ups I've been a part of.

[miss k bee]

Met up with my FB after a year since last meeting. Good to know my libido is still alive!

[playwithfire]

Man, we're not getting laid a lot, huh.

[Slut]

Man, we're not getting laid a lot, huh.


Some more than others

[Bachy]

Pretty much

[xfocalinx]

either my sex drive is dying, or i'm not finding my girlfriend attractive anymore. But we had the house to ourself for a week and no sex happened..I'm completely okay with that.

[Ryan]

either my sex drive is dying, or i'm not finding my girlfriend attractive anymore. But we had the house to ourself for a week and no sex happened..I'm completely okay with that.

Let's see her so we can make an official decision about this matter.

[theimage13]

either my sex drive is dying, or i'm not finding my girlfriend attractive anymore. But we had the house to ourself for a week and no sex happened..I'm completely okay with that.

If she was completely okay with that too, then you're probably in good shape.

[playwithfire]

either my sex drive is dying, or i'm not finding my girlfriend attractive anymore. But we had the house to ourself for a week and no sex happened..I'm completely okay with that.


Hetero-lesbian bed death.

[aggroculture]

I want to ask my wife to peg me.
I think she would do it, I just need to work up the courage to ask.

[eversonpoe]

I want to ask my wife to peg me.
I think she would do it, I just need to work up the courage to ask.

good luck! i hope she'll be open to it. i mean, it's really not weird at all, as far as kinks go. i still need to find a better harness for my wife (she had no qualms about doing it but the harness we got didn't fit her right/wasn't really comfy, so she didn't enjoy herself very much).

[aggroculture]

Report: it was a bit awkward, and we didn't quite manage it. She was open to the idea, but not that comfortable with the practicality of the harness. I'd like to try it again, at a different moment, when our sex life is going better in general (there are various reasons why it isn't at the moment: life, health, stress), and when such experiments might work better. Anyway, I'm glad I had the courage to ask!

[Bachy]

Going on three months now.

But then again, it's still winter and in the Midwest, so I don't care THAT much about it <---- What I say to myself

How I really feel . . . . .

http://static.fjcdn.com/gifs/Gimme_13b227_541296.gif

[playwithfire]

Whenever y'all are like "it's been a few months" -- gosh I don't relate. Because that does not seem like such a long time.

[playwithfire]

You know what, fair point. It takes me much longer than a few months to hit the "fuck, it's been a while" stage unless there is a particular person I want. I feel like, if the target of the sexual desire isn't super important, casual sex is easy enough to obtain with a modicum of effort. Not my thing, but absolutely available. But, masturbation and pornography work well enough as far as I'm concerned.

Instead of being like "wtf it's not that long" going "Y'all are apparently extraordinarily horny people." is a better conclusion.

[Volband]

I can manage dry spells (was pretty late to start the biz' to begin with), but there are periods when my libido pretty much makes me go crazy and I feel like I'd even hump a squirrel, and all my kinks are magnified. I'd need a helluva better self control, even if so far I've done nothing that could have not been done at least once in a lifetime.

[theimage13]

I hear ya. Multi-year gaps were normal for me, and the depressing part wasn't the "I NEED SEX", it was just envy from seeing other happy looking couples out and about while I went about my business alone. Even in a long term relationship, I've learned that my drive is definitely on the low side, and thankfully that syncs up perfectly with my partner. I enjoy a good shag, but I don't constantly crave it. And that's a-ok with me.

[ophelia_]

No one has talked about sex since February? This makes me a sad panda.

[playwithfire]

WELL HOW HAVE YOU BEEN DOING OPHELiA

I haven't been doing much if you get my drift

[slave2thewage]

my fiancée is super hot, has a big dick,
my thirst is rising.

[xfocalinx]

Finally had anal sex. That was cool.

[muse-lyre candy]

it's been a lil over a yr. my last relationship left me a bit traumatized and i'm not yet comfortable with being touched, i love hugs and that's about as far as it goes.

[mostlymad]

Eichalvindore

Hah, I've got you beat there. I have chosen not to be in a relationship for 7 years. I had casual sex twice since then. That was 3 years ago. And it sucked.

I'm not up for it right now, which is good. There's still a stitch in there, so nothing happening for a few weeks. There's this thing that happens that no one told me, that right after everything is removed, you get a surge in libido. So suddenly, after all this time, I'm thinking about it, again.

[muse-lyre candy]

@Eichalvindore (http://www.echoingthesound.org/community/member.php?u=5774)

Hah, I've got you beat there. I have chosen not to be in a relationship for 7 years. I had casual sex twice since then. That was 3 years ago. And it sucked.

I'm not up for it right now, which is good. There's still a stitch in there, so nothing happening for a few weeks. There's this thing that happens that no one told me, that right after everything is removed, you get a surge in libido. So suddenly, after all this time, I'm thinking about it, again.
i wish you the best of luck with that. casual sex has lead me into relationships that weren't my idea and in my head I'm saying 'what the hell, why not.' that philosophy hasn't been working out too well for me. so ya, i hear you about avoiding relationships, and for me casual sex too for awhile. right now i have this fear of being touched by men which will take a lil time to bounce back from.

[ophelia_]

So I'm going to America in September for 5 weeks, and reaaally want to talk to my boyfriend about me getting slutty over there. But not really sure how to bring it up... I bought it up once with him, asking "so, I'm going to be gone for 5 weeks - what are your plans for seeing other people?" and he took it really badly and said he didn't plan on cheating on me.

We don't have an open relationship, but he's also pretty easy going and I think he would be fine with me sleeping with other people, as it's pretty likely I am never going to see them again. But it's a bit confusing that he reacted so badly to me asking about it. I dunnoooooo.

[Sarah K]

ARE WE MAKING OUT?!?!

​caps

[tony.parente]

So I'm going to America in September for 5 weeks, and reaaally want to talk to my boyfriend about me getting slutty over there. But not really sure how to bring it up... I bought it up once with him, asking "so, I'm going to be gone for 5 weeks - what are your plans for seeing other people?" and he took it really badly and said he didn't plan on cheating on me.

We don't have an open relationship, but he's also pretty easy going and I think he would be fine with me sleeping with other people, as it's pretty likely I am never going to see them again. But it's a bit confusing that he reacted so badly to me asking about it. I dunnoooooo.

aaahaha you wanna get freaky with some American boys.

[ophelia_]

ARE WE MAKING OUT?!?!

​caps

THE ANSWER TO THAT IS OBVIOUSLY YES! .... also caps.

[ophelia_]

aaahaha you wanna get freaky with some American boys.

Sure do :D Can't go to Texas without riding a cowboy!

[Sarah K]

Omg. We have to go to a play party.

[tony.parente]

Sure do :D Can't go to Texas without riding a cowboy!
Australians are fucking dope lmao

Well, most of em.

[ophelia_]

Omg. We have to go to a play party.

YES! omg. Plz. I am getting way too excited about this trip... soon!

[Sarah K]

Bet. I haven't been to a party in a few months now. The one my friend runs is the second Saturday of each month. You'll be here the first weekend, but I am sure that we can get into some mischief somewhere!

[Harry Seaward]

So I'm going to America in September for 5 weeks, and reaaally want to talk to my boyfriend about me getting slutty over there. But not really sure how to bring it up... I bought it up once with him, asking "so, I'm going to be gone for 5 weeks - what are your plans for seeing other people?" and he took it really badly and said he didn't plan on cheating on me.

We don't have an open relationship, but he's also pretty easy going and I think he would be fine with me sleeping with other people, as it's pretty likely I am never going to see them again. But it's a bit confusing that he reacted so badly to me asking about it. I dunnoooooo.

To address the post - if you guys don't have an open relationship, have never discussed one, and your boyfriend reacted pretty poorly to you asking about seeing other people during a month-long trip, well... it seems like sleeping with somebody would be a pretty uncool idea. I feel like him "taking it badly" is a pretty open and shut answer to your question. It seems sorta strange that you describe how explicitly not open he is to the idea, and then say "he's pretty easy going so he'd prolly be okay with it." Kinda sounds like you're preemptively making an excuse for something you already have your mind set on.

Honestly the best advice for 99% of relationship issues is "communicate" so it seems like just straight-up asking him for permission would be the best course of action.

I know you didn't explicitly ask for advice, so totally disregard this if I'm coming across as out of line or dickish.

[ophelia_]

To address the post - if you guys don't have an open relationship, have never discussed one, and your boyfriend reacted pretty poorly to you asking about seeing other people during a month-long trip, well... it seems like sleeping with somebody would be a pretty uncool idea. I feel like him "taking it badly" is a pretty open and shut answer to your question. It seems sorta strange that you describe how explicitly not open he is to the idea, and then say "he's pretty easy going so he'd prolly be okay with it." Kinda sounds like you're preemptively making an excuse for something you already have your mind set on.

Honestly the best advice for 99% of relationship issues is "communicate" so it seems like just straight-up asking him for permission would be the best course of action.

I know you didn't explicitly ask for advice, so totally disregard this if I'm coming across as out of line or dickish.

Nah, you're not coming off as dickish :)

I didn't really explain myself too well. We don't have an open relationship, but we have had quite a few threesomes and in prior relationships, we've both had poly/open experiences.. Jealousy is not really something that affects our relationship too much. So the idea of us being open while I'm away isn't exactly brand new to both of us, that's why I was so surprised at his reaction. We are generally pretty good at communicating, but I might have asked him on a bad day or something.

Will definitely bring it up with him before I leave, just need to do it the right way.

[playwithfire]

I've been casually seeing this girl for a while now (we started going out earlier this year) and maaaaaan if there isn't a constant perfect storm of us not banging and I feel like it's all on me. And then I feel guilty and feel like I'm pressuring myself and nothing turns me off faster. We don't hang out often, I have pretty frequent below-the-belt issues and while that's gotten better, I've been on my period the last couple of times we've hung out (great way to put a damper on lesbian sex, for me, and please spare me any advice around how I should get over basically only being open to giving or pnv on my period and embrace receiving foreplay. I'm not a fan.). I'm not the kind of person who really gets all that much out of just making out for ages (I get bored). I also have skewed increasingly passive, so I do best more with more aggressive, dominant (though verbal orders are a hard limit for me) partners. But then, it makes me feel like I have to initiate things, when what I need is someone else to so that I can get out of my own head a bit. She's pretty consistently great, so this is on me, but I feel bad. :/ We'll figure it out, but ugh.

[playwithfire]

Yaaaay finally managed to turn that around. THANKS BODY.

[ophelia_]

Update on above: had another chat with the boyfie, he said he's more than happy for me to see what America has to offer in the way of penis (and vadge). Woo! :D

[Sarah K]

http://i.imgur.com/m1sYfWw.png

[eversonpoe]

Update on above: had another chat with the boyfie, he said he's more than happy for me to see what America has to offer in the way of penis (and vadge). Woo! :D

wait, i'm sorry...vadge? not vag? i have NEVER seen it abbreviated like that and i can't stop laughing. are you going to earn a vadge badge? :p

[ophelia_]

wait, i'm sorry...vadge? not vag? i have NEVER seen it abbreviated like that and i can't stop laughing. are you going to earn a vadge badge? :p

Hahaha! Maybe it's an Aussie thing?

And omg, yes! Like boy scout badges... but sexual ones!

[Boots]

I've had a painfully long dry spell. I've almost forgotten what it's like to be touched.

[Bachy]

I've had a painfully long dry spell. I've almost forgotten what it's like to be touched.

Welcome to the club.

https://media.giphy.com/media/l0MYC0LajbaPoEADu/giphy.gif

[playwithfire]

Update on above: had another chat with the boyfie, he said he's more than happy for me to see what America has to offer in the way of penis (and vadge). Woo! :D

Well, if you do find your way to NYC and dig chubby femmes with short hair and lots of eyeliner, eyyy.

[ophelia_]

I will be in NYC actually, haha. Gonna meet Sarah there, maybe we can have a little ETS meet up?

[playwithfire]

I'm down! Sarah and I already know each other as human people in meatspace so I think that'd be chill.

[Sarah K]

"What?" he asked me.

"Nothing. I am using humor at inappropriate moments" I responded, with his dick in my hand.

Good job, Sarah. Lol.

Had an A+++ hookup with an old friend last night, after like a year and a half of not seeing one another. Had a split with a longer term partner in May that crushed me. And things with my other partner have been very strained lately to the point that I dread any time they take their dick out. So it is nice to know that I don't dread all dicks. Just the weird tension attached to the one right now. First time I've had a hookup in quite a long time.

[Sarah K]

Also yes for the meetup, obviously.

[eversonpoe]

"What?" he asked me.

"Nothing. I am using humor at inappropriate moments" I responded, with his dick in my hand.

Good job, Sarah. Lol.

Had an A+++ hookup with an old friend last night, after like a year and a half of not seeing one another. Had a split with a longer term partner in May that crushed me. And things with my other partner have been very strained lately to the point that I dread any time they take their dick out. So it is nice to know that I don't dread all dicks. Just the weird tension attached to the one right now. First time I've had a hookup in quite a long time.

"dread all dicks" is a great band name.

also, happy to hear you had a positive experience. <3

[Sarah K]

#NOTALLDICKS

Saying "Will you cum first, or will you pass out first? Let's find out" as he choked me quickly moved into the top five on the "Hottest Things Ever Said to Me" list.

[theimage13]

I've had a painfully long dry spell. I've almost forgotten what it's like to be touched.

http://www.echoingthesound.org/community/threads/326-Fuck-me-(No-seriously-)

[Dra508]

"dread all dicks" is a great band name.



Agreed. In a sad sort of way.

[GulDukat]

Had a terrible time trying to get laid, being bald and all, until this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2GeF7A05zQ8

[playwithfire]

I'm pretty sure they used that on Hugh Laurie for House.

[Vertigo]

I.. what the hell? At the risk of sounding incredibly stupid, is that real?

[theimage13]

I.. what the hell? At the risk of sounding incredibly stupid, is that real?

http://articles.latimes.com/1995-12-15/news/ls-14281_1_hair-today

[samwise]

have you guys ever tried using anal toys (http://blissfulcherry.com/buy-sex-toys/anal-toys/)? They feel amazing and everyone should try it at least once (even guys). If you say that even just rimming your a-hole isn't pleasurable, then you're either lying or you just haven't tried it yet :P

[Sarah K]

You should get an nJoy plug.

[xfocalinx]

90% sure I'm losing my sex drive. It sucks, but oh well.

[kel]

have you guys ever tried using anal toys (http://blissfulcherry.com/buy-sex-toys/anal-toys/)? They feel amazing and everyone should try it at least once (even guys). If you say that even just rimming your a-hole isn't pleasurable, then you're either lying or you just haven't tried it yet :P

welcome to the board! ;)

on topic: i used to work at a costume/novelty/sex shop as an inventory specialist (read: i placed the merch orders). i nearly lost my job when i ordered a giant butt plug, roughly the size of ... i don't know, like a full-size garden gnome. it was priced at $100 and i only ordered it out of sheer curiosity. we had a customer who would come in everyday to look at it and ask question after question. he *wooed* this giant chess-piece-looking thing for days before finally buying it.

i was sooo relieved to see it go.

[playwithfire]

then you're either lying or you just haven't tried it yet :P

I'm piggybacking (pun! aah!) off of your post to go on a mini-rant about that sentiment. I heard the host of a burlesque show say the same thing the other night and maaaaan, not all folks like the same things (and can you imagine what a boring world it would be if we did?). I feel like that argument also gets trotted out for people who don't like receiving oral. "Someone just hasn't done it right." I love getting head when my body is working (sigh) and I also enjoy assplay once in a blue moon, but it's totally chill to not like either and it doesn't mean folks didn't do it right or try it enough!

That said


You should get an nJoy plug.

Yeah, what she said.

[Bachy]

https://38.media.tumblr.com/96834bca590cf6d10bd33e31afe71c23/tumblr_npctux9Gkn1tgjlflo7_250.gif

[playwithfire]

It's okay sometimes.

[Amaro]

Anyone else here have a fetish for giving oral? Asking for a friend. :D

[Bachy]

Yes. I feel like that’s a fairly common fetish for a lot of people. Just pulling a statistic out of my ass, but I would guess that at least 50% of people enjoy it.

[Amaro]

Yes. I feel like that’s a fairly common fetish for a lot of people. Just pulling a statistic out of my ass, but I would guess that at least 50% of people enjoy it.

Except...I love giving it. I wouldn't think it's on actual fetish level for 50% of people. Maybe I'm wrong!

[kel]

Maybe I'm wrong!
i'd say so.

[Amaro]

i'd say so.

I’m not convinced based on discussions outside of this realm.

While almost everybody with any feeling down there likes at least receiving it, with regards to giving I’ve heard a lot of “Eh, I can do without it”, “It’s okay”, and “Once in a while it’s nice” more than anything (from both guys and gals). Maybe these individuals just be playing it cool. That could be it, for some of them.

Edit:
https://youtu.be/JPZyX8wN8RU?t=1m38s

[Bachy]

Maybe these individuals just be playing it cool.

Hit the vagina on the head there. Err, I mean nail.

[eversonpoe]

Except...I love giving it. I wouldn't think it's on actual fetish level for 50% of people. Maybe I'm wrong!

i wouldn't call it a fetish, but i enjoying giving oral sex sometimes more than penetrative sex. i enjoy receiving it fine but i love giving it.

[Amaro]

In any case, maybe I've lost sight of the actual word meaning, and by itself oral sex can't be placed in the "fetish" category. But, for me, in my mind, giving is just that because it's a certain echelon above all other turn-ons. I've definitely almost cum with her climax.

[eversonpoe]

i also really love eating someone's ass (although i wish there was a better way to phrase it? it sounds so silly) and i really like getting mine eaten, too, but not everyone enjoys it :/

[Amaro]

i also really love eating someone's ass (although i wish there was a better way to phrase it? it sounds so silly) and i really like getting mine eaten, too, but not everyone enjoys it :/

I haven't experienced either on this... It's basically never come up or has been unofficially motioned against, which was fine as I would've said no to any ass stuff. At the same time, I can't say 100% that I rule it out for the future. Everybody won't shut up about it these days, to the point where I feel almost weird for not at least trying it, at least giving. I'd have to be pretty goddamn tight with the other person.

[eversonpoe]

I haven't experienced giving or receiving on that one... It's basically never come up or has been unofficially motioned against, which was fine as I would've said no to any ass stuff. At the same time, I can't say 100% that I rule it out for the future. Everybody won't shut up about it these days, to the point where I feel weird for not at least trying it, at least giving. I'd have to be pretty goddamn tight with the other person.

do it during shower sex if anyone's worried about it!

it really feels fucking great, and something about giving it is just really fun to me. idunno. my wife used to like it a lot more than she does now, not sure why. it basically never happens anymore.

[Bachy]

i also really love eating someone's ass (although i wish there was a better way to phrase it? it sounds so silly) and i really like getting mine eaten, too, but not everyone enjoys it :/


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5dwN9TsK4lo

[Amaro]

do it during shower sex if anyone's worried about it!

it really feels fucking great, and something about giving it is just really fun to me. idunno. my wife used to like it a lot more than she does now, not sure why. it basically never happens anymore.

-____- I can't believe I actually forgot about shower-ANYTHING (I should find myself in the Horny thread or whatever, I'm not getting the action my poor brain craves). Of course!! I can say I would most likely give that a go someday.

Maybe if and when ass stuff comes back around for her, the appeal will be in full-force. That can happen.

[Bachy]

I myself have never tried shower sex. Kitchen sex though, yes.

As an extremely OCD person, the following morning I was tempted to grab a flame flower and go RJ MacReady all over the counter.

[playwithfire]

nevermind

[Sarah K]

Liking something a lot does not make it a fetish.

[kel]

shower sex is cumbersome for big guys like me. even more so with another big guy.

also, analingus orgasms are about as good as they get.

[eversonpoe]

shower sex is cumbersome for big guys like me. even more so with another big guy.

also, analingus orgasms are about as good as they get.

yeah we've never had shower sex at our apartment because our tub isn't very big and the shower curtains (there's one on each side) stick in and it would just not be very comfy. it's always been on vacation or when house-sitting for someone.

[Amaro]

I myself have never tried shower sex.

I have only fond shower memories. Usually it was standing up (in a standard size/shape shower), with her against the corner, leg up and balancing on one foot. For that reason, naturally she didn't like it as much as me, but we both found it super hot...and romantic (simulated rain effect? lol).


I feel like a fair amount of people are super into giving oral? It's hard for me to consider that fetishistic. Like, I can see people having oral fixations, but oral is a pretty standard sex act.

I hear it now. Now, curious--could public oral sex be fetishistic or would it just be kinky?

[Sarah K]

Define public.

I don't think oral counts as a fetish or kinky.

[Amaro]

Like, being stone (not wanting to be touched sexually) is a thing for me when I have sex like... probably somewhere between a quarter and a third of the time. It's a legit, significant part of my sexuality and it matters to me...

That's really intriguing.


Define public.

I don't think oral counts as a fetish or kinky.

Any environment where there's a high enough chance of being seen in the act by strangers. I feel like if one's arousal level is highly dependent on or is heightened by such a factor, then that is a fetish.

[Sarah K]

That's called being shitty and nonconsensually involving others in your vanilla sex.

[eversonpoe]

That's called being shitty and nonconsensually involving others in your vanilla sex.

https://media.giphy.com/media/kYsBThMhhalLG/giphy.gif

(i love you, sarah)

[Amaro]

That's called being shitty and nonconsensually involving others in your vanilla sex.

I’m lead to believe I don’t actually have any fetishes, but just so it is clear—that’s not my fetish.

Am I supposed to feel bad for getting road head though?

[playwithfire]

Well like, I have a fetish for neon. Like, the light tubes. I've jerked off to videos of electric discharge. I'm also super fetishistic about latex.

I heard some one describe it as a bit of a "zoom" in terms of your focus. Like, it narrows down to That Thing. And That Thing independent of other stuff is arousing.

Oral is just... having sex with someone. On my end it sounds like a narrative I hear a lot from people, typically dudes, where they're very fixated on "giving" their partner orgasms. Like, giving pleasure as a whole thing that they do to their partners. I don't mean like "hell yeah we're going to have a mutually enjoyable experience" but like "she has to come first" kinda shit.


That's really intriguing.

There are so many ways to have sex.

[eversonpoe]

Oral is just... having sex with someone. On my end it sounds like a narrative I hear a lot from people, typically dudes, where they're very fixated on "giving" their partner orgasms. Like, giving pleasure as a whole thing that they do to their partners. I don't mean like "hell yeah we're going to have a mutually enjoyable experience" but like "she has to come first" kinda shit.

that's so weird. like...the whole point of sex is to have a mutually enjoyable experience, however that works for the people involved.

[playwithfire]

But obviously they're god's gift to oral!

I actually like getting head if my body is working, but this shit is real: https://splinternews.com/against-the-cult-of-the-pussy-eaters-1793855807

Also this is good. http://www.bkmag.com/2016/04/19/stop-telling-me-you-want-to-go-down-on-me/

Give me cis dudes who consider sex continuing after they orgasm to be something enjoyable and normal, and then I'll be interested.

[Haysey_Draws]

I...should not be reading this at work lol.

Never had shower sex, or kitchen sex...how once used a mars bar (UK chocolate candy bar) and i do NOT recommend it!

[Sarah K]

I actually like getting head if my body is working, but this shit is real: https://splinternews.com/against-the-cult-of-the-pussy-eaters-1793855807

Also this is good. http://www.bkmag.com/2016/04/19/stop-telling-me-you-want-to-go-down-on-me/


Agree with both of those. And holy shit, read the comments on that second one. Oh my goooood.

[eversonpoe]

Agree with both of those. And holy shit, read the comments on that second one. Oh my goooood.


Mike is a dude who DEFINITELY understood the point of this article

ahhhahahahahaha

[Amaro]

Well like, I have a fetish for neon. Like, the light tubes. I've jerked off to videos of electric discharge. I'm also super fetishistic about latex. I heard some one describe it as a bit of a "zoom" in terms of your focus. Like, it narrows down to That Thing. And That Thing independent of other stuff is arousing.

That's pretty cosmic to imagine. Definitely a first. Thank you for sharing. I was going to request that people share their fetish(es) in my last post (but I forgot), to segway this all into actual examples of fetishes.


Oral is just... having sex with someone. On my end it sounds like a narrative I hear a lot from people, typically dudes, where they're very fixated on "giving" their partner orgasms. Like, giving pleasure as a whole thing that they do to their partners. I don't mean like "hell yeah we're going to have a mutually enjoyable experience" but like "she has to come first" kinda shit.

Maybe that order and/or attitude doesn't do it for you, but I don't find anything inherently negative about it at all. I'm positive that countless couples operate in that dynamic, probably because it works best for both of them. There have been times where I've just gotten her off, and it was heavily implied -if not verbally communicated- that that's all I desired for that moment, and for me that was a mutually enjoyable experience.


...this shit is real: https://splinternews.com/against-the-cult-of-the-pussy-eaters-1793855807

Also this is good. http://www.bkmag.com/2016/04/19/stop-telling-me-you-want-to-go-down-on-me/

Well? You can't please everybody. I know women of today who are way into receiving, not to be confused with finding it appropriate or cool for a guy to just blurt out how he wants to dive in her vagina headfirst, on the first date. This is a hugely subjective area though.

On that note, I can only speak for myself, and that's all I care to do... I knew I had an oral thing ever since I was in the single digits. I have no desire to assess why that was for me, but it's still there. If I don't see pretty much eye-to-eye with a woman on one of the ways I want to show my affection for her (T in the V), I can't fathom we'd work out like that.

I do like how the articles brought up strictly finger/hand stuff. I personally tend to associate that approach with the more gentle side of sex... I've learned to come back around to those more 'humble beginnings' and appreciate how that method sometimes works really well for a woman, as in she really seems to like it, and it's its own super intimate thing to me (and I am quite into that). The last gal I was with was on a high dose of an antidepressant, and had never gotten off by somebody else. Long story made short: clitoral stimulation by hand was super key in getting her there... I don't know who was more surprised when it finally happened for her. That was quite nice.


Give me cis dudes who consider sex continuing after they orgasm to be something enjoyable and normal, and then I'll be interested.

As long as I'm not expected to become fully hard within 15-20 minutes after an orgasm, I've been game for something before.

[playwithfire]

Maybe that order and/or attitude doesn't do it for you, but I don't find anything inherently negative about it at all. I'm positive that countless couples operate in that dynamic, probably because it works best for both of them. There have been times where I've just gotten her off, and it was heavily implied -if not verbally communicated- that that's all I desired for that moment, and for me that was a mutually enjoyable experience.

Yeah, but it's not the order, right? It's either the expectation of it as a status quo (regardless of individual experience, the typical social pattern is absolutely that the male orgasm is viewed as the "end" to sex under ideal circumstances, continuing after male orgasm is viewed as "caring about their partner's pleasure" vs. something just as chill as a female partner doing so/a normal part of routine, and that dismisses that tons of women also have refractory periods and is just heteronormative as all get out) or all the other things in play around that. The "she comes first" narrative (note the "first" part of that, and I'm specifically referring to the book + the things that spun out for it) is problematic as hell.

Also to be clear, I'm talking about like this as a social theme and not your own experiences.

So like, sadism is a big thing for me. I didn't realize how big it was until someone framed it as "giving intense sensations" vs. just "pain" because I thought what was basically edging as standard practice was just like, me enjoying giving hand jobs. But, it's absolutely a sadism thing. And like Charlotte says, you see that a lot in porn these days. "Hardcore-lite gonzo porn of the early aughts has given way to the Kink.com trend of performers trembling through numerous orgasmic seizures, sometimes forced out of them by the infamous Hitachi magic wand."

The mentality of men basically "giving' their partners orgasm as this like, new breed of sexual prowess, is a whole thing. Because instead of it being about what their partner *wants* it's about what the men *do* for/to them.


On that note, I can only speak for myself, and that's all I care to do... I knew I had an oral thing ever since I was in the single digits. I have no desire to assess why that was for me, but it's still there. If I don't see pretty much eye-to-eye with a woman on one of the ways I want to show my affection for her (T in the V), I can't fathom we'd work out like that.

Yeah, similarly for me if it was important for a partner to be able to sexually touch me every time we had sex, it wouldn't work. Everybody has to find who they're compatible with.

Anyway, I mean, broader oral fixation *is* a fetish? So maybe if this is a broader thing for you, it is fetishistic? But, if it is restricted to just really liking going down on women, that's just... enjoying sex imo.

[playwithfire]

nevermind

[miss k bee]

Friend living in Germany paid a surprise visit, so it became a sexual Sunday.

[SM Rollinger]

Going on almost 5 year dry spell, maybe thats part of why i feel so irritable.

[botley]

Double fun-day Monday! Two-times Tuesday?

[piggy]

If you have sex on a Wednesday, I like to call that double hump day.

[playwithfire]

nevermind

[Sarah K]

Honestly it's just another way to police women's sexuality. They say that the sample size argument does not hold up. In social science, we are supposed to have at least 30 subjects for each condition. So in a hard science, I imagine that figure should be similar or way more. However, it is something that weirds people out, so they took this "study" and ran with it. The only thing that it really stated is that it has some of the same chemical compounds as urine. But like - duh.

[playwithfire]

nevermind

[Vertigo]

Well, beer is 95% water, but that small percentage is enough to give it very different properties. Squirting doesn't make bedsheets stink like it's been peed on in my experience.

As for whether squirting is positioned as a "goal", I've more commonly heard the opposite - a lot of people really don't like it, particularly since the urine research. But either way, social pressure for your body to work a particular way doesn't sound healthy.

[Sarah K]

Oh, yes. I do not believe that it should be a "goal" or there shouldn't be pressure put upon people to try to "achieve" it. Like many things, I think this is linked with porn. Men are led to believe that squirting is like, the pinnacle of orgasms. But like, it's just something that happens or it doesn't. I don't like these aggressive dudes who are like EVERY WOMAN CAN DO IT WITH THE RIGHT GUY. No. Go away.

I don't think I'd even count it as an orgasm. And if it is, it's like... my least favorite form of orgasm.

[playwithfire]

My like, favorite person, is in town right now, and we hung out last night and we didn't really hook up or anything because we were both tired and it was late, but I ACTUALLY FELT SEXUAL ATTRACTION TOWARDS ANOTHER HUMAN FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MONTHS ��It's been seriously getting to me how out-the-window my libido is, and how hard feeling essentially asexual has been for me, because I am not asexual, so ffffffffff, yay, feel a little less like I'm malfunctioning, yay.

[eversonpoe]

My like, favorite person, is in town right now, and we hung out last night and we didn't really hook up or anything because we were both tired and it was late, but I ACTUALLY FELT SEXUAL ATTRACTION TOWARDS ANOTHER HUMAN FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MONTHS ��It's been seriously getting to me how out-the-window my libido is, and how hard feeling essentially asexual has been for me, because I am not asexual, so ffffffffff, yay, feel a little less like I'm malfunctioning, yay.

when your libido is so low that you're feeling asexual toward other beings, do you still have any libido/drive in terms of your own personal sexuality? i.e. is masturbation also just completely off the table for you? i can't even imagine how frustrating that would be for someone who isn't asexual (but i also say that not knowing anyone personally who is asexual, and i don't know if masturbation is a thing that most asexual individuals do or don't participate in)

[playwithfire]

Yeah, totally still do/did. Which is super common since being asexual only means you don't experience sexual attraction to others.

And like, if I'm doing sexual things with another person I can enjoy it from a physical pleasure standpoint. But the like... desire for that other person just isn't there. But like, I'm not asexual. So like, experiencing sexual attraction to other people like... flew out the damn window sometime in the winter and hasn't been doing a great job of being around.

Which is problematic because there are various people in NYC I need to figure out if I'm pursuing shit with or not. It's also made me feel really disconnected with myself/I think it's been a part of hormonal imbalance and depression.

But this person, who I've been into for years, and have hooked up on and off with for a couple of years, shows up and my brain is like "yeah you totally want them" and oh thank god

[Bachy]

I got some last night.

https://i.gifer.com/Xr6.gif

[Bachy]

https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcT3kbmp2b0LOcFgMyHtBNcEI-0AeOLVXy17SwVrSbSGfherQ41l

[kel]

gross.

[playwithfire]

Reminds me of: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZSS54BW1u9w

[Pillfred]

After far too long I finally had some sex last night.

[kel]

hi, guys. haven't been here in a minute, but i wanted y'all to know that several times now i've seriously had two orgasms right after the other. i don't know why, i recently turned 40 and started dating again for the first time in ages.

#blessed

[kel]

our sex is so insanely passionate. it's a euphoric experience every. damn. time. he just turned 53 and, wow, this feels as new as my first kiss.

if we're fb friends, you've seen just how adorable he is. i am so fucking in love.