The Fucking Thread

[Sarah K]

It's a great feeling! I only experienced it a handful of times because the overlap of when I got my IUD put in with having a steady partner was not very long. I expected it to feel weird or something. I dunno. It's kind of a hard feeling to anticipate. But it was awesome!

SOMEDAY

[aurelius]

The perineum is a wondrous place. The boy had a whole set of crazy new moans and sounds. 'Twas fun. I think I may give rimming a go because he enjoyed some ass attention.

[halloween]

The few times my boyfriend finishes inside me, we usually have a silly "What's our plan of action?" conversation because we don't really plan ahead that way. He doesn't like dealing with the mess so he doesn't orgasm every time we have sex but I like giving him orgasms but sometimes I even have to use the fact that it's HEALTHY for him to drain his pipes every so often in order to get him to orgasm.

[Sarah K]

Recently, I saw a shirt, or a pic, or something(I cant remember shit lately) that said something like:

How to give the perfect handjob:
Step 1 - Use your mouth

Made me chuckle and think of you guys.

[Charmingly Miserable]

Recently, I saw a shirt, or a pic, or something(I cant remember shit lately) that said something like:

How to give the perfect handjob:
Step 1 - Use your mouth

Made me chuckle and think of you guys.
After last night's activities, I needed to see that this morning. You're the best!

[bethylfan]

Ok. I think it's going down tonight. My pick-up technique is fairly retarded (mass messaging each day on Plentyoffish). However, there are successes. Anyways, it's been months without getting it on. So, on Plentyoffish one of the people I've been messaging back and forth with agreed to come to my place tonight. We started planning it yesterday. She's bringing over a bottle of Vodka or something. She's a bigger girl but I don't judge too much. Plus she's pretty. I've been cleaning up the place for 2 days now. It's all presentable and ready for action. cashpiles needs to get some too y'alls.


Bigger girls seem to be the most fun in the sack.

[Sarah K]

Oh, fuck right off with that.

[icklekitty]

Because they're more grateful amiriteOLOLOLOL

[eversonpoe]

how much you wanna bet that person is going to come back with "but i was trying to compliment larger ladies" and act completely ignorant (or some bullshit like that)?

[Sarah K]

I've been fat all of my life... Generally, bros who come with shit like that, and other comments(FAT GIRLS GIVE BETTER HEAD, FAT GIRLS LIKE ANAL MORE, FAT GIRLS ARE KINKIER) are attracted to fat girls, but they are still early-to-mid twenties, and cannot openly admit that to themselves yet. They have to throw in a qualifier, because hey... NOBODY LIKES FATTIES.

Edit - I'm not as angry about it as this post sounds. lol. Shark week.

[Conan The Barbarian]

I like all women.

[Ryan]

Because they're more grateful amiriteOLOLOLOL

roflcoptered at that.

[Fixer808]

First post, bethylfan hits the ground running.

[Sarah K]

Hahaha. I was just thinking that. Wonder if he will return.

[Charmingly Miserable]

I'm a curvier girl (I'm about a size 10/12) and I sez more cushion for the pushin!

[Ryan]

Pics or it didn't happen.

[ophelia_]

People aren't good in bed because they're skinny, or chubby, or fat, or whatever... They're good in bed because they enjoy what they're doing.

That "fat chicks are more grateful and thus better in bed" and "they give such good head 'cause they're so used to putting things in their mouth" bullshit that gets said... Fucking hell. Grow up.

[Kyle]

Question: how many of you are familiar with orgasming without ejaculating? Sometimes I do it, usually I can control it better when masturbating.
I did that once. After the initial confusion, it became a wondrous thing that I've tried to repeat with no success. For those who have never experienced it and wonder why it's so magical, it's because you're not done. You can keep going like a horny energizer bunny.

[Sarah K]

Twice today, I read "Handcrafted" as "Handcuffed".

I apparently need to hire a manwhore or something.

[theimage13]

Twice today, I read "Handcrafted" as "Handcuffed".

I apparently need to hire a manwhore or something.

Don't even get me started on when I see the word "bandage".

[playwithfire]

I did that once. After the initial confusion, it became a wondrous thing that I've tried to repeat with no success. For those who have never experienced it and wonder why it's so magical, it's because you're not done. You can keep going like a horny energizer bunny.

Welcome to one of the best things about being a chick (sometimes/sorta/I kind of need to just lie there for a bit after I orgasm.)

My boyfriend and I are going to explore the logistics of sneaking into one of the MANY (http://media.timeout.com/images/resizeBestFit/100443821/660/370/image.jpg) cemeteries where I live one night and fucking in it.

[Sarah K]

Totes depends on what *kind* of orgasm it was for me.

[Ryan]

Is your mouth open in your av for a reason? "Please Insert.." ?

[Sarah K]

It just makes me smile. Hah.

[Kyle]

It just makes me smile. Hah.
Inserting things in your mouth makes you smile?

[Sarah K]

Mostly my friend's face on my tongue makes me smile.

STOP JUDGING ME

[Sarah K]

My boyfriend and I are going to explore the logistics of sneaking into one of the MANY (http://media.timeout.com/images/resizeBestFit/100443821/660/370/image.jpg) cemeteries where I live one night and fucking in it.


There is one not far from my work that has a shorter, steel fence on the outside of the real fence for whatever reason. It would be super easy for you to hop over!

[DigitalChaos]

A couple tracked every act of sex/masturbation over a year and graphed the data...
http://www.reddit.com/r/sex/comments/21g0yr/ive_tracked_one_year_of_sex_and_masturbation/

[Swykk]

Nevermind and stuff

[Sarah K]

Haha. WHAT DID YOU SAY

[playwithfire]

There is one not far from my work that has a shorter, steel fence on the outside of the real fence for whatever reason. It would be super easy for you to hop over!

I think I've got one in mind. Or at least the area I want to go to in mind. I don't know if it has a good view of Manhattan or not, that'd be even better. But yeah!

[ophelia_]

Twice today, I read "Handcrafted" as "Handcuffed".

I apparently need to hire a manwhore or something.

Handcuffs can be handcrafted. Rite?

Bit off topic, but my phone keeps autocorrecting "haha" to "gags"... WHAT EXACTLY ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY ABOUT ME, IPHONE?!

[aggroculture]

My boyfriend and I are going to explore the logistics of sneaking into one of the MANY (http://media.timeout.com/images/resizeBestFit/100443821/660/370/image.jpg) cemeteries where I live one night and fucking in it.

My vote is for Greenwood Cemetery. Never had sex in it, but it has a super awesome 19th century gothic vibe.

[Ryan]

My vote is for Greenwood Cemetery. Never had sex in it, but it has a super awesome 19th century gothic vibe.

Plus it's mentioned in Creepy Green Light by Type O!

[Ryan]

I vote doing it in here:

http://www.nycgo.com/images/uploadedimages/devnycvisitcom/venue/greenwood_v1_460x285.jpg


http://www.nycgo.com/images/uploadedimages/devnycvisitcom/venue/greenwood_v1_460x285.jpg

[playwithfire]

My vote is for Greenwood Cemetery. Never had sex in it, but it has a super awesome 19th century gothic vibe.

I need to visit there, but not for sex.

We're just going to go with one of the ones in walking distance.

[ophelia_]

Lol that's so mean

I have a dickhead friend who cracks onto every chubby chick he sees because of this. I honestly don't know what is wrong with him.

[ophelia_]

He is just a shitty person.

And "friend" was the wrong word, he's more "that guy that is always there, even though no one really likes him".

Loud, obnoxious drunk dude that thinks he is super funny but really isn't.

Anyways... That's off topic.

I HAVEN'T HAD SEX FOR ALMOST 3 WEEKS AND I THINK I'M GOING TO DIE.

[Sarah K]

TODAY marks nine weeks for me. So, I'm pretty sure I AM dead.

[icklekitty]

Three weeks since lesbanim sex, eight months since peenus. I miss Daddy.

[eversonpoe]

I vote doing it in here:

http://www.nycgo.com/images/uploadedimages/devnycvisitcom/venue/greenwood_v1_460x285.jpg


http://www.nycgo.com/images/uploadedimages/devnycvisitcom/venue/greenwood_v1_460x285.jpg

if that was in LA and not NY i'd think it was used in that episode of buffy (right near the end of the series).

[theimage13]

TODAY marks nine weeks for me. So, I'm pretty sure I AM dead.

500+ days. Nine weeks? I'd kill for that to sound like a long time.

[Sarah K]

Well yeah... But it is one of the few advantages of being a female.

[ophelia_]

Eight months? :( I don't think I could live on just vagina for that long. I need penis in and around my mouth as well.

[Sarah K]

HAHAHAHA. Oh, god.

I need to stop reading this shit.

[ophelia_]

This thread gets me through my work day, I swear.

[Sarah K]

Now we know why every thread has turned into The Fucking Thread... None of us are fucking.

[Swykk]

4 years. That's fucking sad.

[Sarah K]

Hi. I WILL HELP

[Conan The Barbarian]

I'm at 2 years. The cons of a Viking living in Miami

[Ryan]

Got a little crazy last night and she started jerking extra hard and now today my right testicle is sore.

[playwithfire]

This thread gets me through my work day, I swear.

I on the other hand will see that this thread has new posts while on my computer at work and then open the thread on my phone.

[Sarah K]

You're not welcome here.

[ophelia_]

I'm at 2 years. The cons of a Viking living in Miami

I wanted to go to Miami because of Dexter, but now I want to go for the vikings.

[Conan The Barbarian]

We are few, as there are many Ricky martins running around.

[Ryan]

WRONG :D

fvlkfnhkfdhbrikrjgoi

Le ditto. :)

[Kyle]

If you're able to post here while fucking, you're not doing a very good job at the fucking.

[Ryan]

I post here while at work, yo.

[Sarah K]

Challenge accepted.

[Sarah K]

If you're able to post here while fucking, you're not doing a very good job at the fucking.

Challenge accepted.

[aggroculture]

I remember on the old board the fucking thread would chase you back to the not getting any thread if you were whining about not fucking instead of enthusing about fucking.

[Sarah K]

Sounds like there were way more dicks around back then, though.

NOT THE GOOD KIND OF DICKS

[Kyle]

Challenge accepted.
First you have to get some fucking in

ZING!


(like I'm one to talk)

[playwithfire]

The "I'm not getting laid thread." also had a WAY BETTER NAME BACK THEN JUST SAYING.

The Virginity and Not Getting Any Thread >>>>>> Fuck me. (No seriously.)

[ophelia_]

She's not mad, she's horny!

[ophelia_]

Yeah I'm like that as well, to the point that it's frustrating.

So insatiable. Gah.

[aggroculture]

The "I'm not getting laid thread." also had a WAY BETTER NAME BACK THEN JUST SAYING.

The Virginity and Not Getting Any Thread >>>>>> Fuck me. (No seriously.)

Yep. I didn't know what that thread was for the longest time because I was all like "what is that thread?" and never even clicked on it.




I'm horny all the time.

Doesn't matter how much sex I have or how much ass I'm getting, it's like it's still not enough.

Maybe because I'm a guy? Or a nymphomaniac :confused:


I really hate that feeling, it's getting old. Sublimate sublimate sublimate. The older I get the more I think it's not a desire for sex. It's just desire. I don't want to actually have sex with hot strangers, I just like looking at them.
Have you read Philip Roth's "Portnoy's Complaint"? It's basically the bible of sexual frustration.

[icklekitty]

Eight months? :( I don't think I could live on just vagina for that long. I need penis in and around my mouth as well.

There are no Men within 100 miles of this city. Lots of wankers and blokes, but no Men. *stares forlorn into cocktail glass at hotel bar in tiny dress*

[Sarah K]

Yeah I'm like that as well, to the point that it's frustrating.

The older I get, the worse it becomes.

I already feel slightly bad for whoever I date next.

[ophelia_]

I'm seeing a 22 year old at the moment for that exact reason. He has the stamina to keep up. Haha.

[Kyle]

I'm seeing a 22 year old at the moment for that exact reason. He has the stamina to keep up. Haha.
If you think a guy has to be 22 to keep up, you've dated a bunch of light weights.

[Sarah K]

I feel like I would have to teach too much to a 22 year old. :/ But with the exception of my first boyfriend, I've always dated older. Usually like 8-12 years older than me.

[ophelia_]

It's not that exactly, because the majority of other guys I've dated have been pretty good in bed, but they just don't seem to want it as much as me. I've always dated older guys and this is the first time I've even kissed someone younger than me (with the exception of the time I accidentally had sex with a 17 year old)... So I'm just using his age as an excuse for his hornyness. Haha.

[ophelia_]

I feel like I would have to teach too much to a 22 year old. :/ But with the exception of my first boyfriend, I've always dated older. Usually like 8-12 years older than me.

Thats what I thought as well! But he's by far the best guy I've ever has go down on me. And the things that kid can do with his fingers. Omg. *fans self*

[theimage13]

There are no Men within 100 miles of this city. Lots of wankers and blokes, but no Men. *stares forlorn into cocktail glass at hotel bar in tiny dress*

Wankers I get, but what separates the blokes from the Men?

Also...seriously, none in London? I would've thought a huge city like that would be packed.

[Sarah K]

Doew anyone else like making out? I feel like I'm probably too old to just be making out. But I think about it ALL the time. Probably because I haven't really kissed anyone since January 2013.

[Fixer808]

You're never too old to properly make out. I'm 33 and it never goes out of style.

[ophelia_]

I'm listening :D

Okay, story time...

My best friend El was fucking this guy Nick for a while, and one night we were over at his place having drinks. He had a friend over that I'd never met before, named Jesse.

El and Nick go off into the bedroom to bang, and it was a bit awkward because I didn't know Jesse, so couldn't joke about their sex noises. I suggested we go for a walk instead of sitting there pretending not to hear their bedroom shenanigans.

So we go for a walk and ended up at a graveyard by the beach. As it does, one thing led to another and we ended up making out. This boy who was really shy up until now, pushed me up against a tree and lifted my dress up. I was so surprised because he seemed like such a innocent guy, and he suddenly started getting really dirty. It was great. We ended up having sex next to a grave.

When we got back to Nicks place, he and El were in the lounge room smirking at us, lolz were had, etc. a few minutes later, I overheard Jesse on the phone to someone saying "I just fucked a 23 year old in a graveyard!", and at first I thought it was funny, but then I was like... Wtf, why is he pointing out my age?

Until this point, I always went for older guys and had never even kissed anyone younger than me. And I should have suspected he was younger, because El was my age and Nick was 17. I used to give her so much shit about her "minor problem", so I asked her how old Jesse was and she said 17... So much shame. Haha.

I'm still convinced she set that up so I'd stop making fun of her love of 17 year olds.

[ophelia_]

Sex in a graveyard near the beach with a minor...I'm not judging.

How was it, on a scale of one to ten? :eek:

Theres there's a few variables, so I feel like I need to rate them separately.

He had the biggest cock I've ever seen, so 9/10 when it comes to the peen.
Location/mood/overall vibe - 7/10
The actual sex - 6/10
Storytelling potential - 7/10

Overall, 'twas a good bang.

[Sarah K]

Re: making out... I'm one of these dumb shits who is like "kissing is too intimate for me". While I fucking love it, I won't do it unless I really dig someone.

Before I moved, it actually ended a 7 month fwb situation. He'd always joke that he was going to kiss me. And I would be like lolol, and that would be the end of it. THEN... one night, he was (consensually) slapping the shit out of my face. He then stopped. I thought I was just getting a breather. Before I could fucking open my eyes, he had his tongue rammed in my mouth. I was like WHAT THE FUCK and freaked out a bit. He just kept saying thay it was okay. Some bickering happened... he told me that i was fucked up, left, and that was the end of that.

I found out later that he got married about halfway during our little deal. SO WHO IS THE FUCKED UP ONE

[Sarah K]

What is the legal situation with banging a 17 year old in Australia?

[Charmingly Miserable]

You're never too old to properly make out. I'm 33 and it never goes out of style.
Hell yeah! I'm gonna be 33 in July and I LOVE a good make out session. Maybe my nice pout helps too.

[icklekitty]

What is the legal situation with banging a 17 year old in Australia?

It's legal, unless you're that person's care giver or (in one state) want to do it in the bum.

[playwithfire]

Doew anyone else like making out? I feel like I'm probably too old to just be making out. But I think about it ALL the time. Probably because I haven't really kissed anyone since January 2013.

I feel like all my promiscuity is making out. Like, I want to make out with a TON of people. But making out with them doesn't mean I want to have sex with them. And I'm definitely (usually) not into having sex with people I don't know very well. Like... I don't have an interest. I don't think feeling that way is common, though I know at least one other person like that.

On the bright side! There's a makeout party in NYC that is the counterpart to a sex party, and my boyfriend and I may go sometime/if I was single I would totally still go.

[AgentofChaos]

If I wouldn't stick my cock inside someone, I sure as shit wouldn't stick my tongue in their mouth. And vice versa. If I'm attracted to you I'd like to kiss you AND fuck you, and if I'm not, well maybe I'll let you blow me but that's it. Heh.

[rhet]

I feel like all my promiscuity is making out. Like, I want to make out with a TON of people. But making out with them doesn't mean I want to have sex with them. And I'm definitely (usually) not into having sex with people I don't know very well. Like... I don't have an interest. I don't think feeling that way is common, though I know at least one other person like that.

On the bright side! There's a makeout party in NYC that is the counterpart to a sex party, and my boyfriend and I may go sometime/if I was single I would totally still go.

i feel the same way a lot of times. it's surprisingly satisfying for me to just flirt and makeout/grope. But I was under the impression that no one does that anymore without then going on to having sex and I hate leading people on.

[ophelia_]

What is the legal situation with banging a 17 year old in Australia?

It is only just legal... Still felt weird though.


I was in Sydney on business last year, and slept with this fine-ass Australian girl. But let's face it: pretty much ALL Australian girls are gorgeous.

Anyway, she was telling me how people in Australia don't really care about climaxing so much as they just have sex for the fun of having sex. Is this actually true? I've adopted that mindset with pretty much every girl I've layed with since and I'm finally starting to see some payoff..

Umm, I think that's kinda true. I find it pretty hard to cum from sex, unless I'm on top, but as long as the sex is fun, it's generally enjoyable. But yeah, as long as you go into it with the mindset of having fun, then you're pretty much right. If you start having expectations before anything has even started, you're pretty much gonna fail. "I'm gonna make her cum 7 times in 23 minutes"! Yeah, nah.

[Sarah K]

On the internet, every man is able to get you off AT LEAST 4 times before you even start fucking.

[icklekitty]

In theory. Poor grammar/a cock pic/being insecure/being a twat usually gets in the way.

[playwithfire]

I don't think I would even WANT to get off 7 times in one session. I think I would want to lie down and watch tv.


i feel the same way a lot of times. it's surprisingly satisfying for me to just flirt and makeout/grope. But I was under the impression that no one does that anymore without then going on to having sex and I hate leading people on.

Yeah, I'm pretty sure most people want to go further, but I don't. If anything, I just clarify.

[Kyle]

In theory. Poor grammar/a cock pic/being insecure/being a twat usually gets in the way.

No no no. That's what causes the orgasms. Your panties should be wet just thinking about one of those things let alone all of them.

[theimage13]

In theory. Poor grammar/a cock pic/being insecure/being a twat usually gets in the way.

dam gurl ur so hotttt i no im not the hottest guy evar but wanna fuk?

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-gzMDrsJfYhE/T3R_hjEHmbI/AAAAAAAACiw/eoGdbVCvgHY/s320/it%27s+peper,+actually.png

[theimage13]

(For the record, I kind of hate myself a little for posting all of that.)

[Sarah K]

After 2 orgasms, my vagina is usually like "kthx", and I'm ready for a nap. So when dudes go on and on about how much they can get you off, it just sounds stupid and boring. I want no part of that.

[ophelia_]

The beauty lies in having a nap, then waking up and having more orgasms.

[Sarah K]

That sounds painful, though. I'm old.

[JessicaSarahS]

After 2 orgasms, my vagina is usually like "kthx", and I'm ready for a nap. So when dudes go on and on about how much they can get you off, it just sounds stupid and boring. I want no part of that.

I like to have 4 at the very least.

[ophelia_]

The only thing that can make me cum 4 times in the one sitting is my hitachi.

It has pretty much ruined my orgasms for all of mankind. My ex hated that thing... The amount of jealousy and resentment he harbored towards it was ridiculous.

[playwithfire]

I need to charge mine. Stupid hitachi imitator that I can't just plug in. :(

Also, highly recommend using one of those on a dude.

[orestes]

Oooooh what brand do you own?

[Sarah K]

Just buy a legit one... they aren't very expensive at all.

[playwithfire]

Oooooh what brand do you own?

Acuvibe, but I don't recommend it. Shit battery life.

[icklekitty]

It's cute when new partners pull out a hitachi on me.

*bored, unaffected face*

[Dra508]

The only thing that can make me cum 4 times in the one sitting is my hitachi.

It has pretty much ruined my orgasms for all of mankind. My ex hated that thing... The amount of jealousy and resentment he harbored towards it was ridiculous.The later statement is because of the former statement.




Also, highly recommend using one of those on a dude.Would this help with one who is jealous? I wonder.

[Sarah K]

I'm almost at 10 weeks now with no action. I'm trying to lay off of the Hitachi(with no success yet), as I'm scared of it ruining actual sex for me.

[JessicaSarahS]

The only thing that can make me cum 4 times in the one sitting is my hitachi.

It has pretty much ruined my orgasms for all of mankind. My ex hated that thing... The amount of jealousy and resentment he harbored towards it was ridiculous.

I own a bunch of vibrators and they're all pretty nice, but I don't think I'd ever leave the house if I owned a hitachi. :p Maybe I'll get one soon.

[Kyle]

I had to google hitachi. Damn, you people are hardcore. No wonder you have trouble finding a man who can keep up.

http://blogsdir.cms.rrcdn.com/3/files/2012/06/Hitachi_EX5600-6-_MG_0518_2.jpg

[xfocalinx]

The girl I'm currently with has such bad anxiety issues, she is too afraid to climax. She's also afraid of doing any of the work, no handjobs, no blowjobs, nothing really to turn me on. It sucks, I understand she's got issues..but it kinda sucks.

[Sarah K]

So, uhhh... Like what happens, then?

[theimage13]

I had to google hitachi. Damn, you people are hardcore. No wonder you have trouble finding a man who can keep up.

http://blogsdir.cms.rrcdn.com/3/files/2012/06/Hitachi_EX5600-6-_MG_0518_2.jpg

What a hoe.

[ophelia_]

Hitachis can definitely ruin your sex life... I bought a lelo magic wand to try and get something 'not as powerful/won't ruin my sex life', but it still does the job pretty damn well. *sigh*

Curious as to how exactly you use it on a guy? Sounds fun, but I'm ashamed to say I've never tried this!

[eversonpoe]

Hitachis can definitely ruin your sex life... I bought a lelo magic wand to try and get something 'not as powerful/won't ruin my sex life', but it still does the job pretty damn well. *sigh*

Curious as to how exactly you use it on a guy? Sounds fun, but I'm ashamed to say I've never tried this!

1 - turn on wand
2 - place wand on/around erogenous zones
3 - enjoy

there are also attachments you can get that either go around the penis or up the bum. none of them transfer the vibrations nearly as well, but that's just how physics works.

you can always just use it as a massage wand, too. i have serious back problems and sometimes, using it that way is far more enjoyable than sexytime.

[Sarah K]

Hitachis can definitely ruin your sex life... I bought a lelo magic wand


I have a Lelo Soraya. Never in my life has something made me squirt like that thing does! But most of the time when I'm alone, I just can't be bothered with it because I don't wanna have to sleep in a wet bed just from masturbating. It is excellent for shower/bath time, though.

10/10 would bang again.

[ophelia_]

Would you use it when you're giving someone a handjob, because I feel like it would get in the way of giving head, unless you press it up against the base of their cock or something.

When I got the lelo wand, my ex held it up against himself when he was masturbating and said it wasn't very great, so I just assumed if didn't do much for guys and never thought to play with it. Of course, everyone is different... Will investigate and report back!

[ophelia_]

I have a Lelo Soraya. Never in my life has something made me squirt like that thing does! But most of the time when I'm alone, I just can't be bothered with it because I don't wanna have to sleep in a wet bed just from masturbating. It is excellent for shower/bath time, though.

10/10 would bang again.

I have the soroya as well! It can be messy though. Very rarely am I a squirter, but that thing has magic powers over my vagina.

You need to check out their Tiani toy, it is SO MUCH FUN! Why yes, I do want to be surprised with an orgasm in the middle of the restaurant. Basically the only remote controlled toy worth spending money on.

[Sarah K]

The Hitachi and the Soroya are the only toys I have right now. But I think it is time to invest in some more. Surprise orgasms sounds like something that I can get behind.

I squirt probably like 80% of the time while sexing. So as soon as the Soroya touches my vagina, it is basically game over.

Wait... So I'm looking at this Tiani one. It won't deliver to the US from the Lelo site. But on Amazon, I found a picture. So, there are two parts? One for the butt and one for the vagina? Do they vibrate at the same time, or can they be controlled separately? $163 :(

[playwithfire]

In my experience, I've mostly put it on the underside of the head of his cock. It works.

[ophelia_]

The Tiani is like a wevibe, shaped like a U - so one half sits in you and the other half sits on your clit... Really enjoyable to wear during sex, but if you're into having secret orgasms in public, the second part is the remote control that your partner uses. Guess you could wear it in your butt but it would be pretty uncomfortable.

Thought lelo was a US brand but it must be from the UK. Boo to not shipping to the US! Surely you'd be able to find it in a sex shop though, they're pretty popular from my understanding.

[Sarah K]

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B0081IDX7K?pc_redir=1399908182&robot_redir=1

But there are two little insertable looking parts?

[ophelia_]

There's two different attachments for the part that goes in you. One is meant for sex, because it has a groove for peen comfort, and the other is fuller for when you want to wear it alone/not have any type of additional penetration.

[Sarah K]

Okay... got you. HOW DO I SEX?!?!?

I definitely want some sort of remote controlled thing if I ever start seeing someone again.

[ophelia_]

You could just wear one and go to a bar, give some hot guy the remote and tell him what it is. Haha.

[Sarah K]

The amount of alcohol I have consumed is directly linked to how loud my orgasms are. Hahah. I can keep them mostly quiet if I'm concentrating really hard. But drinking? Nope. I was drunk here at home the other night and was trying to quietly masturbate. I was successful until the end.

Plus, the squirting thing. Perhaps this isn't such a great idea for me. :(

[ophelia_]

Oh yeeeeah. The squirting thing in public could be a problem, lol.

[Sarah K]

Just gonna get a butt plug.

[allegro]

Acuvibe, but I don't recommend it. Shit battery life.
I never got into battery-operated. I've always preferred electric or the shower head. I require way more than what a battery can give, I guess. The payoff is that my record is 12 Os in one session. Alone. While watching something stupid on TV like Wheel of Fortune. And I only stopped because I was tired and bored.

You can't do that with batteries.

[Sarah K]

Yo... I had a little battery powered bullet when I was younger. Where the wire went into the end of the bullet literally started on fire one night while I was using it.

So, that fuckin' sucked.

[playwithfire]

Just gonna get a butt plug.

My interest in ass-play is minimal these days, but these things are sexy as hell and I still want one. The weight is the best part: http://www.njoytoys.com/products/pureplugs.php

[Sarah K]

I fucking love the ones that have jewels on the end. But REALLY... nobody is gonna see it. Those ones you linked to look WAY more comfy. My butt-stuff experience is pretty limited. Too many bad experiences and I was like SHUT IT DOWN. But I'm curious and knowing where to begin is overwhelming.

[allegro]

Lol we used to be able to count the days until the Fucking thread topic went to buttsecks again

[Fixer808]

Plus, the squirting thing.
My ex (who may soon be my non-ex again, taking things slow) is a squirter, and it's so fucking hot.

[Sarah K]

It took me a LONG FUCKING TIME to adjust to.

The very first time it happened was with a serious boyfriend. I was like WHAT JUST HAPPENED?! And he got so mad. Sooooooooo mad. It turned into a huge fight. So for years after that, it always gave me horrid memories. Now, I just always throw out a warning before I fuck someone new.

I think a lot of it was just age. I was like 21 or so. I wasn't even sure what was going on. So no way for him to know. I like it now! Just takes a little planning which can be a damper because spontaneous shit is always way, way more exciting than having to plan out sex like a fucking business meeting.

[allegro]

It took me a LONG FUCKING TIME to adjust to.

The very first time it happened was with a serious boyfriend. I was like WHAT JUST HAPPENED?! And he got so mad. Sooooooooo mad. It turned into a huge fight. So for years after that, it always gave me horrid memories. Now, I just always throw out a warning before I fuck someone new.

I think a lot of it was just age. I was like 21 or so. I wasn't even sure what was going on. So no way for him to know. I like it now! Just takes a little planning which can be a damper because spontaneous shit is always way, way more exciting than having to plan out sex like a fucking business meeting.

LOL LOL "no that's not PEE!!!"

[Sarah K]

Well, it was in his face. So that added to his anger. Haha. It's pathetic and hilarious now. It wasnt at the time.

I did some research and presented him with articles to explain what happened. He was having none of it, though.

God. Both of my serious boyfriends boyfriends have been extremely lame in the sex department.

[playwithfire]

I fucking love the ones that have jewels on the end. But REALLY... nobody is gonna see it. Those ones you linked to look WAY more comfy. My butt-stuff experience is pretty limited. Too many bad experiences and I was like SHUT IT DOWN. But I'm curious and knowing where to begin is overwhelming.

I only own one plug, which I have used a whopping ONE time (I ended up using a dildo with it because dp >>>> just anal for me). It's the largest thing I have ever had back there, but once it was in... I couldn't really feel it that much. That's why I wish I'd gone with the Pure Plug, the weight + the metal would have been lovely.

I ended up getting this: http://www.funfactoryusa.com/product_codes/24908 The only lame thing is the base of it makes me think it would be hard to keep in if I did want to fuck and wear it.

[Sarah K]

That for sure doesn't look as comfy.

I find objects that I can clean and put in my butt. But I don't have anything that I'm supposed to be putting in there.

I'll just go ahead and apologize to you people... nobody is going to want to hang out with me 'cause you know my entire vagina/butt history.

[Ryan]

Tempted to make a shirt that says aNINal on the front.

[Fixer808]

i find objects that i can clean and put in my butt. But i don't have anything that i'm supposed to be putting in there.

YOU'RE BUTT-STUFF MACGUYVER! all caps

[ophelia_]

Well, it was in his face. So that added to his anger. Haha.

Lol! The first time I ever squirted was in my girlfriends face. I was about 16 or 17 and started crying because I didn't know it was going to happen... She was pleasantly surprised.

Now, it takes a guy who REALLY knows what he's doing with his fingers, or a hitachi to make that magic happen.

[playwithfire]

That for sure doesn't look as comfy.

I find objects that I can clean and put in my butt. But I don't have anything that I'm supposed to be putting in there.

I'll just go ahead and apologize to you people... nobody is going to want to hang out with me 'cause you know my entire vagina/butt history.

No, it's super comfy. It's one of the most widely recommended beginner plugs (along with the Pure). It was between those two for me. I just ended up wanting something more intense than that since while the size was good, I couldn't feel it that much.

Unfortunately, my interest in butt stuff (in terms of anal stuff, I love asses) has been slim to none lately.

I'm VERY fickle sexually. What I like at one time I may have no interest in/not be into another time.

[Sarah K]

YOU'RE BUTT-STUFF MACGUYVER! all caps

Just gonna start introducing myself with that title.

[playwithfire]

Ugh, I'm so horny.

[eversonpoe]

Ugh, I'm so horny.

ditto. and my fiancee and i are barely seeing each other this week (plus it's been over a week). i just want some good snugglesex now that it's not hot as balls in chicago anymore.

[ophelia_]

That's so fucking hot :eek:

if it happened now (when it happens now), I agree with you... But at the time I was mortified. Lol. That girl and I had the craziest sex ever. Still haven't met anyone that's keen for half the stuff she was.

[Sarah K]

What a fucking simp. That's about the dumbest thing to get mad about during sex; most guys would be proud of that shit.

Did he scream like a little bitch and run for a hand towel and some soap, too?

Well, he was a virgin when we got together. And my experience was very limited. I think he was maybe the third person that I was with. I for sure had the fat-girl-afraid-of-being-naked thing going on when I was younger. In fact, only within the last couple of years have I really become comfortable with myself and my sexuality.

So like I said, I had NO clue about what my vagina just did. I was like THAT FELT AWESOME BUT WTF?! So there was no way for him to know. We were basically having awkward teenager sex except we were 20 and 21. The first and only time I've been with someone who was close to my age!

[Sarah K]

We were also doing hella drugs. So his reaction might not have been so angry without that. WE WILL NEVER KNOW

He actually contacted me on Facebook not long ago and apologized for a LOT of shit. Maybe he finally went to rehab!

[Sarah K]

I doubt it. When I started asking him for extremely, extremely mild BDSM stuff towards the end of our relationship, he was having no part of that, telling me how fucked up I am, etc. So I would be very shocked if he became all into... well, much of anything, really. He wouldn't even let me give him a blow job.

[icklekitty]

My ex (who may soon be my non-ex again, taking things slow).


Are we going to have to smack you?

[Sarah K]

He was insecure about his uncircumcised penis. In 5 years, I had his penis in my mouth exactly ONE time. For like, 2 minutes.

God... What a fucking mess. Lol

[Kyle]

The sexual politics between males and females astounds me. How old was your girlfriend at the time that happened? You say she was perfectly okay with that happening, while Sarah's bf at the time lost his shit over the same exact thing.

I'm always amazed at how open-minded chicks are when it comes to sex, only to turn around and hear some dude denouncing the same exact thing, like you were asking him to set himself on fire or something.

iI was going to respond to this post saying that it's not really a male female thing. It sounds more like the particular personalities of these people blah blah blah (and since the woman in question is clearly a lesbian or bi, she's already more sexually open minded for lack of a better word than the norm).

Then I scrolled down a bit and saw that this dude didn't like blow jobs so I don't think anything else needs to be said. I didn't even think that was possible.

[Kyle]

Oh man

Did he just not like vagina, or...?
I would think that would make him like it more. I'm straight but if I had to pretend to be gay and have a boyfriend in some sort of parallel alternate reality sexual norm role reversal, I'd want lots of blow jobs so I can close my eyes and pretend it's a woman.

[Kyle]

He was insecure about his uncircumcised penis. In 5 years, I had his penis in my mouth exactly ONE time. For like, 2 minutes.

God... What a fucking mess. Lol

irrelevant.

If I for some reason was having sex with a porn star who is used to 15 inch cocks that can last for hours I'd be pretty damn insecure as well. I'd still let her put it in her mouth though because hey, blow job!

i don't think you realize just how much this is boggling my mind.

[Sarah K]

Tell me about it, bro. It was my fucking life for 5 years!

[Sarah K]

ALSO!!!

One night, we had both made out with the same chick. She then wanted to have a threeway, and he didn't want that. So... I dunno, man.

[Kyle]

Tell me about it, bro. It was my fucking life for 5 years!
It was your fucking life.

But not your blowing life.



sorry that was awful. I'll go hide in the corner now.

[JessicaSarahS]

I'm always amazed at how open-minded chicks are when it comes to sex, only to turn around and hear some dude denouncing the same exact thing, like you were asking him to set himself on fire or something.

Just hooked up with a guy like that last night. Said he felt he was being used because I wanted to have sex again in the morning... wtf?! And not even kinky sex, but regular, boring, vanilla sex.

[Kyle]

You people are hooking up with some weird dudes.

[JessicaSarahS]

You people are hooking up with some weird dudes.

Story of my life. :\

[Sarah K]

You people are hooking up with some weird dudes.

Weird dudes are all the world has to offer.

[Kyle]

Weird dudes are all the world has to offer.
If the only dudes around you are ones who don't like blow jobs or morning sex, I'm moving because there's clearly a market for what I have to offer.

[Sarah K]

For me now, it's basically that trying to fuck in NYC is kind of impossible. I've only been with one guy since moving here. And he has a girlf~ now, so that ride ended(10 weeks ago today).

Everyone here lives with family or has roommates. Lots of people work multiple jobs. It becomes the aforementioned situation where you have to schedule sex. That isn't fun to me. At almost 3 months with no sex now, I have sadly kind of given up. It is just a really frustrating ordeal. I dunno what to do, really.

[JessicaSarahS]

It becomes the aforementioned situation where you have to schedule sex. That isn't fun to me. At almost 3 months with no sex now, I have sadly kind of given up. It is just a really frustrating ordeal. I dunno what to do, really.

Tinder!

My problem is I prefer dating smart, geeky, introverted guys and they're usually the ones will all sorts of sexual hangups. :\ Time for me to venture away from that type for a while.

[Sarah K]

I have basically no interest in vanilla sex at this point in life, though. I'd rather masturbate like 90% of the time. The sex I need requires trust, so I have to actually talk to them and know them and blah, blah, blah.

[Digital Twilight]

My problem is I prefer dating smart, geeky, introverted guys and they're usually the ones will all sorts of sexual hangups. :\ Time for me to venture away from that type for a while.

It can work both ways. I consider myself a smart, geeky, introverted guy but I'm very open and adventerous sexually however the kind of girls that seem interested in me would consider sex in the shower 'out there'. I guess its not the most important thing but I would be pretty disappointed if I never got to stretch my wings so to speak.

[allegro]

It can work both ways. I consider myself a smart, geeky, introverted guy but I'm very open and adventerous sexually
I've had smart geeky introverted online guy friends who were in some kind of slave groups on AOL. Who knew fucking *AOL* had nerdy slave chicks with equally nerdy dominant masters? By day, IT guys with short sleeves and pocket protectors and glasses held together by duct tape. By night, leading some giggly chick around by a dog collar. I, for one, was shocked. Not "shocked" shocked but shocked because I thought AOL was for people to share recipes for apple pie and pictures of their grandchildren and Disneyworld.

edit: Oh, and I just remembered all those geeky smart guys I knew who used to go to all those scifi cons. I never knew they had it in 'em. They were like giant orgies at the Holiday Inn. Chain mail in the hot tubs.

[JessicaSarahS]

Well, I'm sure there's one out there somewhere, but the last handful of guys that I've dated and slept with have been horribly mundane.

[jessamineny]

The scifi cons were always fronts for the best private BDSM parties back in the day (might still be). Philly (especially) and Boston were the best ones I went to. The Philcon party I went to would take up the entire top floor of a hotel.

And AOL was where I found the scene back in the mid '90s. I remember wondering why the hell a chat room about skiing was always packed to capacity (Le Chateau). I found out.

Overall, I've found the BDSM scene to be chock full of geeks, nerds, introverts, etc.

[Kyle]

I never went to any of those parties at comic cons. Purely hypothetically of course, how would I get to one of these in Philly?

asking for a friend.

[Sarah K]

God. I am not even thinking about sex really the last few days. I just need some violence to calm my nerves. <3

[allegro]

The scifi cons were always fronts for the best private BDSM parties back in the day (might still be). Philly (especially) and Boston were the best ones I went to. The Philcon party I went to would take up the entire top floor of a hotel.
LOL LOL, this is cracking me up. Here, it was Windycon (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Windycon) and Capricon (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Capricon). I never went to one, mind you.

I didn't know what chain mail was ... somebody told me that girls were wearing chain mail bikinis and I remember asking them this:

"Is that, like, a bikini that you wear and if you don't pass it on to 5 friends, you die?"

[jessamineny]

I never went to any of those parties at comic cons. Purely hypothetically of course, how would I get to one of these in Philly?

asking for a friend.

You would have to already have a friend. ;)

The BDSM parties I went to were private, invite-only events. People came from all over the U.S. to attend. I left "the scene" at large almost a decade ago, so I have no idea if they're still ongoing.

[Digital Twilight]

You should see my +2 mace

[Sarah K]

Ugh... I have yet to dive into the world of play parties and such. Something about it seems off-putting to me, but I'm not sure why.

Like, I feel like I would like to go to observe/learn. But I don't really have much of an interest in playing with a large group of people around. I dunno. I need to get to one and scope it out.

[jessamineny]

I was hesitant, too. I thought it would make me feel too vulnerable... but, funnily, just the opposite was true. I'm not sure about you, but when I play privately, there's always a little piece of me that remains present as self-protection. (What if something goes wrong? What if s/he goes past a limit? blahblahblah) I found that when I played publicly, there was a dungeon full of people watching out for me. I could lose myself in the experience.

[Sarah K]

I think I'd be okay with it as far as the "Hey, please hit me with your hands and these objects" aspect of it goes. And right now I'm REALLY NEEDING that. But when I get that regularly, even that can become routine. I really, really enjoy the psychological/mental/emotional/whatever aspect of play. And to me, that is extreeeeemely personal and rooted in a LOT of trust with someone. I don't feel too vulnerable when I'm engaging in impact or body play. I feel vulnerable when someone is fucking with my head, though. Ideally, I can have both at once. And that seems too intimate to me to share with other people, I guess.

I have a bad habit of overthinking things way, WAY too much.

[ophelia_]

How old was your girlfriend at the time that happened?.

She was only a year older than me, so 15.


Or realized that taking a cum shot to the face can be pretty damn awesome :D

Amen to that, my friend!


He wouldn't even let me give him a blow job.

I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND THIS! Well, I do and I don't... If someone is really shit at going down on me, I think I'd prefer them not to do it. But, just because one person wasn't very good at it, doesn't mean everyone will be bad at it.

I LOVEEEEE giving head, it's my favourite sexual thing to do. Luckily, I've never had a guy not want me to, (touch wood, hur hurr) but even the thought of a guy saying "please don't" makes me sad in the pants. No deepthroat = deal breaker.

Great... This conversation has now made me want penis in and around my mouth and I'm stuck at work for another 7 hours. Gah.

[Sarah K]

I mean, I know that I, and a lot of other women hate receiving oral. You just don't hear about it from men as much

I <3 blowjobs. It was the first and only time I've experienced a guy being like LOL NO THANKS. But I guess I've never really sat and thought about this. Now I understand what it must be like for the guys I'm with when I shut them down in the oral department.

[ophelia_]

Wait, what?? You said you were 16 or 17 when this happened. So if she was 15...that would mean you were 14...

Daaaaaamn, woman. You started fucking early! I'd be a totally different guy today if I had stuff like that going on in my life at 15 :eek:

Oops, sorry, it's too early for me to understand what you were asking. Haha. I started dating her when I was 14, the squirting thing happened later when I was about 16/17. It was crazy because we'd been having insane sex for so long and after years of no squirting, the squirting thing really fucked with me. Hence her surprise as well.

Yeah, we did start pretty early... when we were 15, we found some hot dude on the internet to meet up with, then had a threesome with him on a park bench. That's how I lost my guy-virginity! Lol. He was like 25 and it was probably the best night of his life... Looking back at that now, it's pretty fucked up. But you don't think of the age difference as being a bad thing when you're that young. No regrets though.

My friend wants to make a documentary of my sex life, it's crazy the stuff I get up to... Not even on purpose either, it just kinda happens. Hooray for sexual liberation!

[playwithfire]

Ha, really?

[playwithfire]

Ugh... I have yet to dive into the world of play parties and such. Something about it seems off-putting to me, but I'm not sure why.

Like, I feel like I would like to go to observe/learn. But I don't really have much of an interest in playing with a large group of people around. I dunno. I need to get to one and scope it out.

I may be going to the makeout only version of one of those in June, and the awesome queer version of one in the summer.

Talking about this prompted this quote from my boyfriend a bit ago: "I'm all for doing things as a couple, but they don't have to be threesomes and sex parties, we could just like watch plays and eat fondue."

[ophelia_]

Well, I'd be pretty upset if my SO didn't want to participate in the thing I love the most when it comes to sexytimes.

That's something that is generally outlined at the start of a relationship though. It's not like after 3 years of being together, you just say "that's it, you're not doing X for me, it's over".

Personally, if I can't do the thing I enjoy doing the most the first couple of times I hook up with someone, I'm unlikely to hook up with them again.

[allegro]

I don;t think I can compete with a fucking Hitachi vibrator though. It's like an unfair fight. And I generally blame the male side of the house for that because a lot of guys just don't know what the fuck they're doing in the bedroom.
You can be the best guy on the PLANET in the bedroom and you will NEVER cause an orgasm like the Hitachi. Won't happen. However, you can help create a better Hitachi orgasm. The guy who isn't intimidated by the Hitachi in the bed (and who knows how to use the Hitachi to his/her benefit) is the best lover.

If my SO didn't love my vibrator, I'd kick him to the curb. My vibrator has a NAME. He's part of the FAMILY.

[playwithfire]

Well, I'd be pretty upset if my SO didn't want to participate in the thing I love the most when it comes to sexytimes.

That's something that is generally outlined at the start of a relationship though. It's not like after 3 years of being together, you just say "that's it, you're not doing X for me, it's over".

Personally, if I can't do the thing I enjoy doing the most the first couple of times I hook up with someone, I'm unlikely to hook up with them again.

No, I meant NYRexall.

It being a dealbreaker in terms of GIVING is one thing, it being a dealbreaker in terms or RECEIVING strikes me as more complex and more difficult.

I ABSOLUTELY have dealbreakers, but I think if I wasn't monogamous I'd have less of them. What I can't get in one place I could get somewhere else, I guess.

[ophelia_]

Oh right.

Yeah, at first when I read it was a dealbreaker for him, I was a bit like 'wtf', but then I realised it's the same thing really. I can have expectations of giving head just as much as someone can have expectations of receiving head. It sounds selfish at first glance, but sexual compatibility is pretty important. What stuns me, is when people complain about their partners not doing something for them. Well, you've been together for 3 years, if she didn't do that then, why would she suddenly start now?

Urgh, I can think of nothing worse than that when it comes to being in open/poly relationships. Partner X cant do this very well, so I'll just go to Partner Y that can... Yeah, I'd prefer to have a partner who can do both of those things really well, but that's just me.

[allegro]

This goes hand in hand (ha) with my stance behind jerking off providing me better orgasms than actual sex.

Even with a vibrator, she's just masturbating herself. She's basically in control of the outcome. You don't generally get that with sex.
No, I think it's different than that. A vibrator is more powerful stimulation. It's like a rocket ship. I don't know that guys can even handle that kind of powerful stimulation. We can have multiples, with very little recovery. I think if you guys had this level of stimulation, you'd die.

But, say, you are digitally stimulating her G spot while she is stimulating her clitoris with Mr. Hitachi. That's going to provide her with a level of Rocket she's not going to be able to obtain on her own very easily. Or, say, you are fucking her from behind while she is stimulating herself with Mr. Hitachi. The Rocket Ride is gonna go off wayyyyyyyyy better than when she's alone with Mr. Hitachi.

[playwithfire]

I think it depends on the thing/person.

My dealbreakers are basically selfishness and closemindedness. Do you get disinterested in what's happening right after you get off? No thanks. I don't want to get off first everytime and fuck all of that heteronormative bullshit. I cannot stand guys who have the mentality of sex being over once they come or just not being into it anymore.

But if I have multiple partners, I think I can get awesome different things from different people.

There are things my boyfriend would get with another partner that he doesn't get from me. If we were poly, I'd encourage that. Like, he'd dig getting with a submissive chick.

I think NYRexall can have no deepthroat be a dealbreaker if he wants, hell, go for it. I just feel like something like that would limit his pool a surprising amount.

Also, I can deepthroat, though I'm very rusty, but it's never been the deepthroating that has gone over the best out of the oral I've given. It's been when I put my hand in front of my mouth and rotate my hand while I'm doing the same sucking motion over and over. Which I guess is pretty standard? It just surprises me to have that be so important. So I was curious if it was a joke?

But in terms of the poly thing: People differ in so many awesome ways sexually and I think it's great that I can get different things from different people.

On another note: I'm queer, I like guys A LOT, but I have so little interest in a super "straight" dynamic when I'm with a guy. No thanks.

[playwithfire]

no, i think it's different than that. A vibrator is more powerful stimulation. It's like a rocket ship. I don't know that guys can even handle that kind of powerful stimulation. We can have multiples, with very little recovery. I think if you guys had this level of stimulation, you'd die.

THEY DON'T DIE IT'S SO FUN

What I love about hitachi-style vibrators is that it's an almost instant GREAT orgasm with next to no actual effort. I'm frequently too lazy to want to jerk off, and just want to get off, and then I mourn never having it charged.

[Sarah K]

So you just don't like oral in general, or you're turned off by it because the guys you've been with are generally terrible at it?

UNSURE

I think that we've discussed this before. It just has always been really boring to me. It does NOTHING in terms of turning me on. I'm really submissive during sex. So when I'm not doing something FOR him or being of use to him, I get really nervous.

Sex is supposed to be my escape/stress relief/way to not do drugs. So I don't want to think and over analyze during sex - which is the only thing that receiving oral does to me.

[Kyle]

This goes hand in hand (ha) with my stance behind jerking off providing me better orgasms than actual sex.

Even with a vibrator, she's just masturbating herself. She's basically in control of the outcome. You don't generally get that with sex.
No. Just no. Jerking off isn't even close. And I think it's for that exact reason. I know what's coming next because I'm the one in charge. There's no excitement.

[allegro]

For some, oral is just foreplay. For others, oral is better than intercourse. Neither is the correct answer.

[playwithfire]

My boyfriend isn't dead and I have definitely used one of those things on him.

I really hope he isn't dead. Please no.

[playwithfire]

UNSURE

I think that we've discussed this before. It just has always been really boring to me. It does NOTHING in terms of turning me on. I'm really submissive during sex. So when I'm not doing something FOR him or being of use to him, I get really nervous.

Sex is supposed to be my escape/stress relief/way to not do drugs. So I don't want to think and over analyze during sex - which is the only thing that receiving oral does to me.

I love receiving oral, but I actually kinda get where you're coming from.

I remember talking to my boyfriend about him like... tying me up and doing whatever he wanted to me... and I figure out that what he'd want to do would be go down on me and I was like NO THANKS

Or sometimes when we'd fuck I'd be like "Do what you want to me." and he'd start do some something foreplay-ish to me and I'd be like WTF. Because "Do what you want." obviously means "Fuck me."

[allegro]

My boyfriend isn't dead and I have definitely used one of those things on him.
you misunderstood. I said the female orgasm would cause a male to die from the intensity.


Again, it's an unfair fight.

You're wired WAY different down there than we are. You think I wouldn't kill to have a G-spot (that wasn't my prostate) or a clitoris? I'd give my fucking arm for either or both.
Oh, I'm sure you would! LOL. But, I'd kill to have a dick for a day. First thing I'd do is pee outside. I'd write my name in the snow.


And to assume that all guys can't handle multiple orgasms, have little stamina for recovery or handle a certain kind of stimulation is a little arrogant.
I've had TWELVE in less than 1/2 hour with Mr. Hitachi. Your equipment can't do that. That's just plain ol' science. But there's a reason for that, too; it's to get us to push a 22" baby head through our snatch.


And a lot of it depends on her. If a woman I'm with is a tiger between the sheets, I'm more than happy to go all night with her. If she's creative, I'm more inclined to be open-minded to her wants and desires. But if she's just all "Oh god, me so horny, fuck me fuck me eat me", then yea...my interest is pretty much on the wane.
Yeah, well, I don't blame you, there, LOL.

[Sarah K]

Someday, I'll have a boyfriend who isn't terrified of sex toys. It is basically my only life goal at this point.

GODDAMN IT I AM SO FRUSTRATED

[playwithfire]

you misunderstood. I said the female orgasm would cause a male to die from the intensity.
Oh man, yeah, those are crazy.

[ophelia_]

But in terms of the poly thing: People differ in so many awesome ways sexually and I think it's great that I can get different things from different people.

On another note: I'm queer, I like guys A LOT, but I have so little interest in a super "straight" dynamic when I'm with a guy. No thanks.

You're completely right, and I definitely understand that. I, myself, am completely incapable of being in an emotional relationship with someone and doing things with other people, unless we're both fucking the same person. I feel guilty if I fuck someone else, and then jealousy nags at me if they fuck someone else... But if we both fuck the same person, then it's fine.

If I find myself in a slutty period, then yeah, I'll see this guy because he's really good at giving head and if I want to be fingered really fucking amazingly, then I'll go to that chick... I understand that way of getting different things from different people. My brain just won't let that happen when I'm in a relationship because I'm inherently too monogamous. Which kinda sucks, but it is what it is.

[allegro]

Oh man, yeah, those are crazy.
More specifically, the female clitoris being stimulated by Mr. Hitachi would make him die from the intensity

[allegro]

I say it is, but I'm only speaking for myself.
I agree with you, for whatever THAT'S worth. So does Mr. Hitachi.

[Sarah K]

God... fucking WHILE using the hitachi. That sounds like the best thing of all time ever in history.

[playwithfire]

FINE I'M CHARGING MY VIBRATOR.

Because I need to do that.

[allegro]

FINE I'M CHARGING MY VIBRATOR.

Because I need to do that.
You need to go all Bob Dylan at the Newport Folk Festival and plug in with Mr. Hitachi. Or just at least go with Señor Wahl (http://www.target.com/p/wahl-deep-tissue-therapeutic-massager-blue/-/A-14041940#prodSlot=medium_1_1).

[Sarah K]

The beautiful thing about the Hitachi is that it is so fucking simple. There is nothing beautiful or sexy about it. All function.

[Charmingly Miserable]

It's been 12 days but I swear, it feels like 12 years. Grrrrrr.....

[playwithfire]

The Acuvibe is just fine in terms of the intensity. Like, I usually use it through underwear. It's GREAT.

I just don't like having to remember to charge things/shitty battery lives.

[playwithfire]

OH MY GOD I WANT TO TRY THIS (http://www.ohjoysextoy.com/comics/2014-05-13orgasmatron.jpg)

[Sarah K]

Wow... has anyone ever actually used a Sybian?

[Sarah K]

oh my god i want to try this (http://www.ohjoysextoy.com/comics/2014-05-13orgasmatron.jpg)

$200 sadface

[orestes]

OH MY GOD I WANT TO TRY THIS (http://www.ohjoysextoy.com/comics/2014-05-13orgasmatron.jpg)

Hoooooly shit.

[Sarah K]

(I'll probably still buy one soon if other reviews are as good)

[playwithfire]

Yeah, too pricey for me, alas. Maybe one day!

On the bright side, I DID just buy a Hitachi. Now to wait a week.

[Sarah K]

YOU WON'T BE SORRY

Did you get the attachments? I usually don't even use them. Too messy.

[Kyle]

Great. Like us men need another toy to compete against.

[orestes]

$200 sadface

Fifty dollars off until the 27th.

[allegro]

Now, a showerhead...that had me wanting to jump right in.
I couldn't live without a showerhead. Ever. They're the BEST.

[Kyle]

(For those who facepalmed me the post was said with tongue firmly in cheek)

[orestes]

Lick my figs. :p

[Sarah K]

Well, the competition is CLEARLY OVER. Sex toys win. Thread over. This is now the Sex Toy Thread.

BYE, FELICIA.

[Kyle]

Back in the days before caller ID, me and a couple friends were making prank calls because that was still a thing. My friend called up Kay-Bee Toys and asked if they had any sex toys. The guy that answered said "well, we have this lollipop that spins when you push a button."

[playwithfire]

UM GUYS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oM2PwriqOjc

Uh, this is kinda nsfw.

Why does she sound like an angry cougar when she sucks the dildo?

[Fixer808]

UM GUYS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oM2PwriqOjc

Uh, this is kinda nsfw.

Why does she sound like an angry cougar when she sucks the dildo?

HAHAHAHAHA!!! That is probably the most apt description! I don't know whether I'd be terrified or laughing while it happened... And grape-fruiting? REALLY?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pHZm52nvBB4

[playwithfire]

Well, I have seen that cat video before, so I obviously know my shit. :D

[Sarah K]

UM GUYS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oM2PwriqOjc

Uh, this is kinda nsfw.

Why does she sound like an angry cougar when she sucks the dildo?

Hooooooly shit! I haven't laughed that hard in a while!

Also, she touched on it... but yeah, wouldn't that burn?

[Fixer808]

The cougar squeaks are absolutely adorable...

[ophelia_]

Wow... has anyone ever actually used a Sybian?

Yes! A few times, although it's always been with other people watching so I don't feel like I'd enjoy it as much as I would if I were alone.

Highlight of my sybian life was definitely my birthday last year. Had a party on the rooftop, asked my friend to bring his sybian, my Dom at the time made me get on it and then everyone sang happy birthday to me as I came.

[Fixer808]

Aaaaah sexting... good clean fun.

[Charmingly Miserable]

UM GUYS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oM2PwriqOjc

Uh, this is kinda nsfw.

Why does she sound like an angry cougar when she sucks the dildo?
For a second there, I thought that lady was Sherri Shepard. I'm definitely gonna go to bed laughing from this one. Theoretically, can you try this with almost any soft flesh round edible? I want to see the tutorial using a croissant.

[Dra508]

This thread is all sorts of win except no one is actually talking about their fucking.

I think I'm going to go watch that grapefruit video again.

[icklekitty]

Someone needs to actually fuck NYRexall with the rest of us watching so we can test all this shit he's spouting.

Not it.

[The_Prowler]

I need laid. Like... badly. Seriously, I just want to be touched by someone that's not me.

BUT I'm going on a date tomorrow, so we'll see where things go (not that I'm going to rail her in the car after lunch, I don't do things like that unless we're in an already established relationship. I don't pick up women and I don't fuck on the first date.). I'm just hoping that she enjoys my physical company as much as she's enjoyed talking on the phone so far. Wish me luck!

[implanted_microchip]

After 3 years of constant regular and awesome sex going 8 days without anything and knowing it's gonna be a lot fucking longer is so terrifying despite how shallow that may be. Like, holy christ I didn't realize how much I enjoyed what had grown to seem so normal.

[allegro]

I think I'm going to go watch that grapefruit video again.
I was totally with her up until that point ... HOLY SHIT WHAT THE FUCK???????

[Fixer808]

Tomorrow's lookin' prettttty good. YAY TO SEXY GIRL! :D

[Sarah K]

I have a munch on Sunday. Might just give in and ask one of the dudes to bang.

Losing my shit.

[Fixer808]

I have a munch on Sunday. Might just give in and ask one of the dudes to bang.

Losing my shit.

Step 1: Tell them "I'm on the 'secret menu'."
Step 2: Reap the benefits.
Step 3: PROFIT???

[Sarah K]

Profiting from banging would be sweet.

[Kyle]

Profiting from banging would be sweet.
It's legal in Nevada.

[ophelia_]

Last night I had a drunken, messy amazing 5 hour sex marathon... This morning, we spent another 3 hours having sex and doing dirty things to each other... I just got home and decided it wasn't enough and got the hitachi out. There's something wrong with me.

[Kyle]

Or very very right.

[Charmingly Miserable]

Can someone pease explain why I can't have an orgasm while I'm being penetrated? What is wrong with me?

[allegro]

Can someone pease explain why I can't have an orgasm while I'm being penetrated? What is wrong with me?
According to the data I've seen, it's pretty common. Bring Mr Hitachi to bed with you and add him for a threesome.

[Charmingly Miserable]

I guess a need one. Where can I get one??

[Sarah K]

From what I gather, I am extremely lucky to be able to orgasm while just being penetrated. Nothing wrong with you.

[Sarah K]

I guess a need one. Where can I get one??

Amazon is probably the cheapest.

[aggroculture]

I can't believe nobody has remarked that we're on page 69 of the Fucking Thread :eek:

On my computer it says page 46

[Sarah K]

Lololol

I'll man the camera!

[Demogorgon]

the community gets to pick so that it's an objective experiment, heh.

[Dra508]

On my computer it says page 46

Tapatalk says 69.

I'd say slightly over rated.

[Sarah K]

the community gets to pick so that it's an objective experiment, heh.

I'll start the voting with bill.

[ophelia_]

Can someone pease explain why I can't have an orgasm while I'm being penetrated? What is wrong with me?

Theres definitely nothing wrong with you! A lot of women can't come from sex alone. I only ever come from sex if I'm on top and the guy is shaped a certain way (for maximum g-spot penetration!), so maybe just try experimenting in different positions and see what works for you... If nothing does, that's okay! Just bring a hitachi to bed as mentioned earlier. :)

[miss k bee]

Feels wrong being in a hotel room with er... no man with me.