The little things that piss you off

[Big Fat Matt]

I love it.

Listen if you are gonna honk at me to go before I have even finished STOPPING, I'm gonna be mad. I'm gonna flip you off. Are you gonna tap my bumper because you got a middle finger for being a fuck-up? This ends here. I step out, hands outstretched. "NO GUN OR KNIFE HERE ASSHOLE. WHATS THE FUCKING HURRY JEFF GORDON?"

[allegro]

Listen if you are gonna honk at me to go before I have even finished STOPPING, I'm gonna be mad. I'm gonna flip you off. Are you gonna tap my bumper because you got a middle finger for being a fuck-up? This ends here. I step out, hands outstretched. "NO GUN OR KNIFE HERE ASSHOLE. WHATS THE FUCKING HURRY JEFF GORDON?"

Many many years ago, some guy cut off then flipped off my dad's cousin Hank on the Southfield, then the guy exited. Hank pulled over on the side of the freeway, ran up the freeway hill, the dude was at the top waiting at a stoplight and Hank (big motherfucking 6'6" Dutch guy) punched the guy in the face then went back down to his car and left. Don't ever cut off a big Dutch dude on a freeway in Detroit, LOL.

I have friends (and my HUSBAND) who are scared of driving in Detroit in the winter. Driving on 696 in 6" of snow in a blizzard and everybody is going 75mph ain't for WIMPS.

The worst DETROIT I ever pulled on anybody around here was when I was in my late-20s and I was going down a 2-way side street in Chicago and some bitch coming at me decided to go right down the middle, then she got mad at ME and I had to find a way to get out of her stupid way and as she passed, she yelled "LEARN HOW TO DRIVE" at me out her window.

Wait, what? I didn't even DO anything.

I got to the end of the street, turned around, tailed her to the end of the street where she stopped at Belmont, jumped out of my car (wearing my dark Risky Business RayBans) and started SCREAMING AT HER:

"YOU FUCKING CUNT! YOU CUNT! GET OUT OF THAT CAR, SO I CAN KICK YOUR FUCKING ASS!!!"

And she's rolling up the window and looking for a break in traffic so she can turn and escape me, and in her passenger seat is an old lady about NINETY YEARS OLD who has her mouth open and is looking at me, horrified ... and I'm still screaming at with my face right on her window and she finally turned the car and squealed away.

And I bet that woman never yelled at anybody out a window ever again.

And I never did that again because I didn't want to turn into Uncle Hank. Bad idea.

[Big Fat Matt]

Driving on 696 in 6" of snow in a blizzard and everybody is going 75mph ain't for WIMPS.

Get on 75, 3 am, middle of a blizzard. Yeah, there are car-ruining potholes everywhere, but THEY'RE HIDDEN UNDER 6 INCHES OF SNOW! HUEHUEHUE!

I spend 20+ hours a week driving in Detroit. Rain/snow/sun. Angry music helps a LOT.

[Sarah K]

Went to my friend's birthday dinner last night. Checked out the menu before I left home, and thought I could get away with spending $35 - $40. We get there and are informed that we will be doing a fixed menu, so I think that I will probably spend $50-ish... The bill comes, and it was $75 a person! BRUUUUUH! I've gone to dinners with this group before where we've spent like $65 a piece. But a - we knew that would be the price ahead of time and b - the food was delicious.

This food last night was okay at best. Definitely not worth $75! I'm a poor bitch! I don't mind throwing down cash for a really good experience sometimes. But this was not it.

[eversonpoe]

been trying to sell a record on discogs for a while, and someone finally bought it last week. she asked for a shipping quote, as she lives in mexico, and after a little digging online, it looked like it would be around $10. so i charged her $9 and we agreed if it was more than that, she'd pay it.

$19.45 to send a 2xLP to mexico? JEEEZ. i told her i'd split the difference since she only paid $20 for the actual record and i didn't want her to have to pay $20 for shipping, on top of it. i don't understand why it was so expensive. it's less money to ship to england!

[Archive_Reports]

Flight-related anxiety blows. I'm normally just fine, but travelling on Thanksgiving with all sorts of alerts and whatnot is making me a nervous mess.

[elevenism]

same old shit for me.
fucking ridiculous painkiller addiction, way worse than any recreational habit i've ever had.

Having to pattern my life around doses. Tolerance.

And the looming inevitability of being taken off of the motherfuckers.

Siiiiiiiiggghhhhhh.

[kel]

jesus. i'm sorry, @elevenism . the struggle never seems to end, does it?

unrelated and lighthearted: when the professional wrestling thread is the hoppiest and most updated.

there's nothing, NOTHING there for me.

[Jinsai]

same old shit for me.
fucking ridiculous painkiller addiction, way worse than any recreational habit i've ever had.

Having to pattern my life around doses. Tolerance.

And the looming inevitability of being taken off of the motherfuckers.

Siiiiiiiiggghhhhhh.

Have you considered getting pro help and treatment with weaning off the drugs? Don't take this the wrong way (and if you know me at all you won't) but if there's an addictive aspect, self-moderated dosage attenuating is potentially asking for a horrible nightmare.

[elevenism]

Have you considered getting pro help and treatment with weaning off the drugs? Don't take this the wrong way (and if you know me at all you won't) but if there's an addictive aspect, self-moderated dosage attenuating is potentially asking for a horrible nightmare.

oh, i am getting pro help.
this is my last full size bottle.
my doctor promised me i would be ok but it still scares the shit out of me.
hitting up a few aa meetings may be on the horizon for me, because this is gonna be hard.
i've had (and NEEDED) 90mg of oxycodone a day since july.
i can feel the physical habituation, and the psychological part has got me to were i'm only functional when i've taken them.
this is gonna be a rough fucking ride, just like trying to ease off smack.

Thanks for your concern. I do know you a little bit, and i understand what you meant.
But dude, i'm afraid the "horrible nightmare" is utterly unavoidable at this point. Let's just pray that he takes me off them SLOOOOWWWWWW.

[Harry Seaward]

God, if I have to hear about cell phones and/or the internet ruining society one more time, I'm gonna lose my shit. Newsflash grandpa, being a luddite isn't an achievement or something positive to strive towards.

It's 2015, being in an interconnected global culture is something we've been working towards since the dawn of time. Each communication method we develop slingshots us further towards greater progress as a species.

We're no longer forced to speak to the person directly in front of us. And believe it or not, it's not a great insult or injustice to connect with the outside world while also in a meeting with other people. There's nothing wrong with being on a cell phone while you're out at dinner with friends or family. It's not an addiction, it's not rude or immature or a behavior born of stupidity. It's the result of the human mind's relatively newfound ability to extend beyond the immediate 10 foot radius of the human body.

A face to face conversation with another person is NOT inherently more meaningful or important than a conversation over text. I met my girlfriend using the internet and the vast majority of our conversations take place there. I can still GUARANTEE that we're closer than 99% of the shallow cohabiting couples I know personally.

The kicker to all of this is the oh so common whine I constantly hear from backwoods yokels or self-righteous hipsters. The dreaded "why don't you look away from that phone and computer and experience the world?" Similar to my last point, I can also GUARANTEE that I'm more worldly and cultured and knowledgeable than 99% of the people who regurgitate this bullshit. Guess what? Whatever dumb shit you enjoy doing probably just fucking sucks in all likelihood. To imply that I'm not living my life or that your experiences carry more weight than mine is so hilariously cunty that it gives me all the reason I need to disregard everything you say.

And, for what it's worth, if I AM actively ignoring you on my cell phone in lieu of even making eye contact with you, there's a pretty good chance you just suck.

[Harry Seaward]

Oh wait, I have another one!

Hey females, do us all a favor. I know it's not in your nature to stop bitching for five seconds, but can you please quit with the "girl pants have tiny useless pockets" thing? When the time comes that it's socially acceptable for GUYS to carry around a massive bag that holds every item they'll ever need in their entire life, you might get a shred of pity from us about your miniature pockets.

But until then, please stuff your complaints directly into your cartoonishly and unnecessarily oversized and overpriced handbag.

[elevenism]

Oh wait, I have another one!

Hey females, do us all a favor. I know it's not in your nature to stop bitching for five seconds, but can you please quit with the "girl pants have tiny useless pockets" thing? When the time comes that it's socially acceptable for GUYS to carry around a massive bag that holds every item they'll ever need in their entire life, you might get a shred of pity from us about your miniature pockets.

But until then, please stuff your complaints directly into your cartoonishly and unnecessarily oversized and overpriced handbag.

These rants seem oddly personal-especially the second one-it's very specific.
Who's the nice lady?

[tony.parente]

oh wait, i have another one!

Hey females, do us all a favor. I know it's not in your nature to stop bitching for five seconds, but can you please quit with the "girl pants have tiny useless pockets" thing? When the time comes that it's socially acceptable for guys to carry around a massive bag that holds every item they'll ever need in their entire life, you might get a shred of pity from us about your miniature pockets.

But until then, please stuff your complaints directly into your cartoonishly and unnecessarily oversized and overpriced handbag.

brace for the facepalm hurricane.

[kel]

i always carry a bag. some idiot co-workers call it my "man purse" or "murse", but i don't care. i think it *is* socially acceptable. or at least it is here. in southern idaho. but this part of the us is way liberal and forward-thinking, so ...

/sarcasm

[Dra508]

Oh wait, I have another one!

Hey females, do us all a favor. I know it's not in your nature to stop bitching for five seconds, but can you please quit with the "girl pants have tiny useless pockets" thing? When the time comes that it's socially acceptable for GUYS to carry around a massive bag that holds every item they'll ever need in their entire life, you might get a shred of pity from us about your miniature pockets.

But until then, please stuff your complaints directly into your cartoonishly and unnecessarily oversized and overpriced handbag.

To your point that we live in a global world, I don't know where you live, but I was just in London and MANY men carry shoulder tote, purse, whatever you want to call them. Looked to me to be COMPLETELY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE so I expect 1 to 2 years tops it'll be all over the states and elsewhere.

Or in other words, quit your bitching.

[slave2thewage]

Oh wait, I have another one!

Hey females, do us all a favor. I know it's not in your nature to stop bitching for five seconds, but can you please quit with the "girl pants have tiny useless pockets" thing? When the time comes that it's socially acceptable for GUYS to carry around a massive bag that holds every item they'll ever need in their entire life, you might get a shred of pity from us about your miniature pockets.

But until then, please stuff your complaints directly into your cartoonishly and unnecessarily oversized and overpriced handbag.

I don't know what shithole you're from, but manbags have been in fashion for at least the last six or seven years. Learn to accessorize.

[Sarah K]

Yeah. Where is it not socially acceptable?

[Swykk]

I don't know what shithole you're from, but manbags have been in fashion for at least the last six or seven years. Learn to accessorize.

I was going to say, messenger bags exist. I've got one that's a replica of Jack Bauer's. It's my go to choice for any cons I attend.

[Sallos]

[allegro]

I was going to say, messenger bags exist. I've got one that's a replica of Jack Bauer's. It's my go to choice for any cons I go to.

My husband has a messenger bag I bought him but he lugs around an REI daypack, instead. The SIZE of the backpacks the guys lug around in the Loop, Jesus, you'd think they were MOVING. My boss lugs a really expensive leather Tumi briefcase packed with so much shit, I don't think he even knows what's in there. I think a few 2-month-old Starbucks muffins could be in there.

[orestes]

Oh wait, I have another one!

Hey females, do us all a favor. I know it's not in your nature to stop bitching for five seconds, but can you please quit with the "girl pants have tiny useless pockets" thing? When the time comes that it's socially acceptable for GUYS to carry around a massive bag that holds every item they'll ever need in their entire life, you might get a shred of pity from us about your miniature pockets.

But until then, please stuff your complaints directly into your cartoonishly and unnecessarily oversized and overpriced handbag.

Do you wear women's pants? No? Then shut the fuck up. Believe or not, not every women carries around a handbag so it would be nice if pants were designed to hold something bigger than a tube of lipstick.

[ldopa]

harry: stop hanging out with / talking to dumb bitches that complain about "girl" pants. buy this chick a pair of cargo pants or something if you're going to be losing this much sleep over it.

or is it not yet socially acceptable for women to wear "guy" pants??

[ldopa]

PANTS. i like the word.

[kel]

but seriously, masculine insecurity aside, i hope you detox okay, @elevenism . take care of yourself.

[kel]

double post.

[Harry Seaward]

Lol when did ETS become so uptight and hostile to humor? Maybe the facetiousness got lost, but I wasn't expecting so much butthurt. Since you are all focusing on the sentence I said that wasn't remotely the point, let me rephrase.

It's common for women to be annoyed at the tiny useless pockets designed into their pants. At the same time, most women wear a purse which is more than sufficient in carrying items around. Surely you guys can see the juxtaposition here? It's a joke. It's funny. Sometimes humor can be found in pointing out something you think is silly in society or a cultural norm. Maybe the aggressiveness of my post threw you guys off? I apologize if so, it was meant to come off as a funny tongue in cheek bitchy rant. Apparently it came off as an insecure sexist idiot who's genuinely mad about what women say about their pockets? Yikes.

[ldopa]

i'm mad about what chicks say about their pants. or maybe i can't let go of a discussion about pants.

[tony.parente]

I called the butthurt, it's very easy to get a negative reaction out of this community.

[Swykk]

Less "butthurt" from me, more "How does this guy NOT know messenger bags exist?" Because they're great.