The Relationship Thread

[aurelius]

TheImage, I hope my advise doesn't sound lame or preachy, but I was in your situation until recently. I was really bummed that everyone around me seemed to have someone. And then I started to change my perspective and my love life really did change. First off, I had to become comfortable with myself. Sure, on paper I had some great qualities, but I really made myself believe it, not just say it. And being happy with myself made me happy to be alone, in a strange way, because if no one was attracted to me, well, why would I want them anyway? My increased confidence finally allowed me to put myself out there and take action. I started talking to people. I gave out my number. I took chances. I'd always been the person who thought what if; I finally decided it was better to have an answer, even an unpleasant one, than a constant state of inaction.

I second the MeetUp approach. Enjoying activities and being social should really help your confidence. And if dating in general weirds you out, don't do it, not in the traditional sense. Instead of going to dinner or coffee with someone, go on a hike or bikeride. Pick something you know you like, someplace you feel comfortable and you. I don't like typical dating stuff, and I always feel uncomfortable. When my boyfriend and I started going out we just decided to be the nerds we were and stay at home and watch tv shows together. And it was perfect because there was no pretense; we were ourselves.

Good luck. I know how hard it can be. Again, I know it sounds SO cheesy but I found that as soon as I just decided fuck it, I like myself and if this works, great, if not, oh well, well, things just came much easier for me.

[Tighfield11]

Im in a relationship and nothing is more beautiful than a true relationship. It has been 7 years almost and not a single day i doubt that im the luckiest person on earth.

[Merse]

So, I can now join the ranks of poor souls who never saw it coming. At least, not by text message, about 3 seconds before he went Facebook official, with his now girlfriend. D:

[Hula]

So, I can now join the ranks of poor souls who never saw it coming. At least, not by text message, about 3 seconds before he went Facebook official, with his now girlfriend. D:

Dick move. It'll take you a while to see it but you really are better off without him.

[Merse]

Dick move. It'll take you a while to see it but you really are better off without him.

Thanks! This was about a month ago, so I'm already almost there, I think the hardest part for me was the shock of it, and the incredible level of douchebaggery involved. We had even been friends before the sexual component evolved, and it was his idea to become involved at all. Yada, Yada, you get the picture. So new girl actually did me a favor, but I still want to punch him in the dick as hard as I can. Just for fun.

[Beef of the Sea]

Don't just do it for fun, do it for justice as well, you don't deserve bullshit like that.
Like Hula said, better without a fuckwit like that in your life.

[Merse]

Don't just do it for fun, do it for justice as well, you don't deserve bullshit like that.
Like Hula said, better without a fuckwit like that in your life.

Yeah, nobody makes me cry and gets away with it. >

[Eos]

Dinner date with the Silver Fox this Saturday. That is all.

[Fixer808]

Dinner date with the Silver Fox this Saturday. That is all.

YAY YOU!

In other news, FOREVER ALONE.

[theruiner]

in other news, forever alone.

YOU'VE ALWAYS GOT ME. Bastard.

[Fixer808]

You're going to need to sign a waiver.

[Eos]

YAY YOU!

If it goes as well as I hope it does, I'll be posting in this thread afterward.

[Frozen Beach]

A lot has happened since last time. During a time when I was absolutely miserable and wasn't thinking clearly, I admitted to the girl I've been talking to that I had a crush on her. Thankfully, she took it well, but she told me that right now is a time in her life where she's not actually looking for a relationship. She told me she still wants to be friend, and she was glad that I told her. Part of me thinks she's afraid because still when we try to meet in person, things get cancelled at the last second. I probably made it worse. I don't know how it's gonna feel to see her in person now, if we do manage to meet. I feel like a creep. Honestly, I wish these feelings would disappear.

[botley]

I would try and see her again, but in the least appealing context possible; if you're anything like me, there are certain physical things about my women friends that lead to crushes and the best cure for that is to obliterate those mental pictures with something entirely unattractive about them.

"Hey, let's grab coffee in that incredibly unforgiving, sun-drenched location near your place way early in the morning, before you have a chance to put full makeup on!"

[Frozen Beach]

I was talking to her last night. I think her anxiety is sort of keeping her away from meeting me. She told me that she feels too ugly to be seen out in public, which is draw dropping to me because she's seriously extremely gorgeous. She's ask me before if I think she should be on some form of medication, but really, I have no experience with medication, so all I could tell her was it wouldn't hurt to try.

lol, sadly that makeup trick won't work because she doesn't really ever wear it.

[BlueCalx]

She sounds awfully high-maintenance.

[Fixer808]

If it goes as well as I hope it does, I'll be posting in this thread afterward.

WELL?
Did it go like planned?

[Eos]

WELL?
Did it go like planned?

Sadly, no. Dinner had to be postponed and potential sexytimes with it.

[botley]

Sadly, no. Dinner had to be postponed and potential sexytimes with it.

MOST ANNOYING EVER. Sorry to hear that.

This may not relate to your scenario, but I really do hate the easiness with which people cancel/postpone meetings and dates nowadays. Just because it's easy for you to do it by text instead of in person doesn't make it less shitty!

[Fixer808]

Sadly, no. Dinner had to be postponed and potential sexytimes with it.

Ahh bummer, that's always disappointing. You'll get him next time!

[Eos]

Ahh bummer, that's always disappointing. You'll get him next time!

Uh, yeah! He all but rescheduled with me earlier tonight. We're back on for sometime next week.

[Frozen Beach]

That glorious feeling when she calls you, and you both end up talking for about two hours.

[sentient02970]

I'm about to run 15 miles with a gorgeous woman I just randomly met yesterday. How the fuck did this happen?

[theruiner]

Wait...she knows you're running with her, right?

[sentient02970]

^^ haha yes theruiner!

OK so she's married. But I now have a running partner (non-nagging) who is training for the same marathon and looks great as well. We've planned out the next several weeks of training together. Oh and I got to meet her non-running husband on the way yesterday (he's nice enough to bring her water). I guess, in the end, I like that this won't be complicated...just great non-solo running. Goodbye iPod.

[slave2thewage]

I have a date next week. Someone remind me of how to interact with a human again.

[halloween]

I have a date next week. Someone remind me of how to interact with a human again.

You reach out and start grooming his fur.



it's all about baby steps.

[slave2thewage]

Don't talk about grooming, he's 18 and I feel weird enough already.

Apparently we're gonna drink wine and watch old Vincent Price movies. HEAVEN.

[aurelius]

I can't believe I've been going out with my boyfriend for nearly six months now. It feels so new yet so established, both in the best ways. I am so, so happy. It's amazing to be with someone that loves the real me, to know that I can be myself.

Last night he said that while he certainly wasn't thinking of the near future, he could finally imagine getting married. He was so excited to be with someone he could see spending the rest of his life with, that he wanted to, hoped to. Oh my god. I feel the same way but it's so shocking to me that I fell this hard so fast. And that he did too.

[hellospaceboy]

I'll be married for 10 years this October. Which is amazing considering that I just 30. No kids, no bullshit, just 2 people who want to be together. We're very happy.