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Faceplams: It's a horrible thing. For most of the twenties age bracket of guys we've heard all of our lives that being nice to women is of utmost importance, and while it's true it's also negated our balls and made us less attractive.
Banned
It's a horrible thing. For most of the twenties age bracket of guys we've heard all of our lives that being nice to women is of utmost importance, and while it's true it's also negated our balls and made us less attractive.
Throbbing Member
Guys often have this weird notion that being a 'nice guy' means always agreeing with everything a woman says. It's more 'kowtowing your way into her pants' and less 'I am a valuable person and so are you, let's know each other (possibly in the biblical sense if things go well).' Problem is, almost no one likes hangers on/starfuckers/suckups/yesmen/etc. It's okay to be an actual nice guy, but that doesn't include being a wet noodle whose personality goes out the door the second an attractive woman shows up.
Active Member
THANK YOU.
There's a million miles of difference between "Hey, I'm going about my life being a decent human. Oh, you want to fuck me? Cool!" and "Look, I've been nice to you for the whole of an hour. I pretended I liked that band and tried to find something to say about that thing you're into. Now I'm owed a fuck".
There's a swingers club that W/w/we sometimes go to to play with other guys. They're pretty desperate and crap at sex, so it's never awesome but it passes the time and raises my strange count. Last night we went with a different agenda. Cue Him surrounded by three girls; on one His lap, one at His balls, one on His lips, right in the middle of the public area with every other male in there looking insanely jealous. Oh, I'm sorry, 30 year old dude in a polo shirt, jeans and a trainers. I appear not to be falling at your feet and instead going for the besuited, self-confident, pot-bellied and balding Man in His mid-50s I arrived with. I'm sure that later when you hover over me with puppy eyes for an hour and touch my bum as if it were a snowflake WITHOUT ASKING I'll totally change my mind and be yours.
I really like flaunting my fearless love in front of insecure fucktards.
Active Member
My wife says one reason she fell in love with me is because I'm the only guy who called her out on her BS.
Ha. Not sure how I feel about that. But we're gonna be married 5 years in feb. so I guess it's working out so far!
On top of that. I'm the only guy that didn't change his opinion based on what she wanted.
Guys, having balls works when you're looking for a significant other.
Last edited by DVYDRNS; 01-13-2013 at 11:28 AM.
The Enhancer
Spent last night at a restaurant and then karaoke with a very sexy girl and even though we didn't end up having sex we still spent the night wrapped up in each other, it was extremely nice. Hoping to see her again soon.
Active Member
THIS. I ran over my X regularly because I always did and he didn't call me out. I really didn't realize it until it was way too late.Originally Posted by DVYDRNS
My wife says one reason she fell in love with me is because I'm the only guy who called her out on her BS.
Ha. Not sure how I feel about that. But we're gonna be married 5 years in feb. so I guess it's working out so far!
On top of that. I'm the only guy that didn't change his opinion based on what she wanted.
Guys, having balls works when you're looking for a significant other.
It's a massive turn on for me for the man, to not put up with my BS.
Throbbing Member
Since managed to get over the shit, I'm trying a new mindset towards the whole relationship thing this year, and will be throwing myself out there, I need to get my self confidence up big time.
Active Member
Feeling like shit right now. So I was dating this girl about two months ago and a few weeks ago she told me we shouldn't sate, so already I feel like shit because this is two winters in a row where I've been dumped on my ass. She wanted to be friends though and naturally I'm a weak guy who thinks something can still happen, so we keep hanging out and after work one night her and I hang out with one of my coworkers who needed a ride home. So we're there and they're talking for almost two hours while I'm sitting like a dumbass watching TV.
The next day at work, he tells one of my coworkers about how he had no interest in her and blah blah blah so I stop getting jealous. I pick him up today and he asks me about her and I tell him I haven't spoken to her much lately. He then goes on to tell me that she gave him her number and they've been texting and how he enjoyed talking to her and wants to sleep with her (unaware that I still have feelings for her) and hang out with her more often (they saw each other this past weekend apparently). It probably shouldn't bother me as much as it does, but I can't help but feel angry and depressed and almost a little betrayed. I work with this guy and he's cool, now, I'm just disoriented and I know she'll get upset if she knows I know they're up to something.
The Enhancer
Damn, dude, that's a rough one, sorry to hear.
Active Member
My girlfraaand is coming up (again) to visit for Valentine's Day!!
As stoked as I am to see her again, I feel bad, because I haven't been able to fly to Orlando to visit her. She told me "your schedule is too crazy. Come visit when you have time! Don't worry about it!" I'm super stoked that my schedule will be WIIIDE open in April (her birthday is the 28th) and May, so I'm hoping to head down to Orlando then. Also, I also offered to pay for her flight up this time to "make up for it". Again, she said "make up for what?!"
I have the best girlfriend ever.
Throbbing Member
I know this is my fault...
I've gone back and forth with this girl since we were in highschool.. We never actually made it to the point where we made anything official, just random hookups, and whatnot.
This is completely my fault, in that everytime the issue was brought up, I shied away from it to the point of her losing interest and then gaining it only to yet again lose it..
So we're back at that point where were trying to figure things out, and for whatever reason, my anxiety about going forward with her and establishing a relationship between us is totally gone. Because I flip flopped on that for sooo long though, she's not really as enthusiastic about it.
FML I SUCK!!!
House Always Wins
I'm falling hard for a girl I've been talking to for almost 7 months. It's rather exciting.
The Enhancer
Things are lookin' up for ol' Liz Lemon!
.com
I have a date this Sunday night. She's absolutely gorgeous and seems to be quite nice. I haven't done this sort of thing in a very long time. Last relationship ended in early 2007 (LOLWUT!). I'm feeling pretty confident, buy MY GOD this is scary. So far, with the text communications and a few very brief meetings, things are going very very well. Meow, bitches!
Resident Asshole
Luv you buddy!
Active Member
This is the first relationship I've been in where I haven't bailed when things got tough. I'M GROWING UP!
Also, finding a local boyfriend is proving to be a task and a half. London boys no talk so good.
Active Member
If its not there, don't feel bad for not forcing it. You'll just hate yourself more trying to wiggle out of it because you are just not happy. Oh wait, that's me. Make sure you are really happy people! Dopamine, oxytocin, all that stuff needs to be pumping!
Throbbing Member
I have a tendency of getting spooked by and running away from girls for some reason.. For a minute I thought I may be gay, but I know that's not the case, I'm far too interested in women..
What I started thinking was that maybe I'm a little insecure, I'm trying to push past that, and really put myself out there for once though..
I know i'm into this girl, I have been since I was in HS, I think part of me is just really afraid of getting hurt.. But I can't really let that stop me from being with someone, because THAT, ending up totally alone, would probably be way worse... Plus, being alone offers no fucking/blowjobs, and that's not cool!!!
Active Member
Emotional Unavailability. Think i've learned a hard lesson in that last night. Fooled around with a friend, who i've been flirting with, etc. She decides to come to place at like 2am. I'm all for it. And by the time she gets there, i'm kinda in shutdown mode. It wasn't fulfilling. It wasn't her fault. And this isn't the first time it's happened where i'm totally into a girl, and then bam, from out of nowhere, I instantly lose interest. It's happened plenty. I don't really date women. I'm pretty iffy about that whole thing these days. I'm the guy who has no problem spending time with people. But, every now and then i'm going to want my alone time, which is probably horrible. I just find something fulfilling (alot...) of coming home from work (which I hate), putting on a video game or movie and relax, alone.
I'm still pretty whatever about relationships. But at the same time, it kinda sucks. A few years ago, I was never in this position. It's a hole that I dug for myself (willingly), and have no idea on how to get out, or whether or not I even want to get out. It sucks.
Throbbing Member
It really is an ego booster to have been told I have changed (in the good way) someone's ideas about romance. That it's possible in an equal give and take type of way and not just one person giving all the time. Sigh. I asked him if he regretted being with me knowing I was going to leave eventually (and that eventually is coming in two weeks, where I'll be off to the other side of the country for ten months...) and it was a relief to know he didn't regret anything and neither did I. The depression will suck but we both know that the time spent together was worth it.
Piko, if you know that alone time is something important for you, make sure that whoever you end up dating is respectful of that. Don't feel that you have to be "there" 100% of the time. One of the things I've learned this year being with this person I just mentioned, was that it was completely possible to have personal time while even in the same room.
Active Member
@jessamineny : I never thanked you for your post, but seriously, cheers. That's great and it deserves another read on my part.
Anyway, it's us, not polyamory. I didn't see any point to keeping the exclusive thing since his classes are starting back up and who knows how often we'll manage to see each other.
Also, I've realized that a lot of what contributes to me feeling insecure about our relationship probably isn't going to change, so I've kinda given up.
I don't really know what to do about it, but I just don't feel like trying for something I'm not going to get from him and that I don't think he wants.
It doesn't mean I don't care about him or that I want to stop seeing him. I don't know what to do about some of it, but for the time being, we're just kinda sucking at keeping in touch since neither of us is really willing to put in the effort (and by that I probably mostly mean that I've stopped trying in some ways... he's never been great at it) and seeing each other when we can... during which things are fine.
In other news, there's a pretty cute guy I know and that may go somewhere or may not. I don't feel like forcing things and he's a fun guy to chill with regardless.
Last edited by playwithfire; 01-31-2013 at 09:36 PM.
BACKROLLS?!
I accidentally logged into my old Tumblr and discovered the new URL for my summer '10 "fling/quasi-relationship/whatever the fuck it was"'s account. That's oddly opened up some wounds, even though we do talk every now and then and things are civil/good. I guess he's "the one that got away" to my mind.
Oh, and I realised that I really wasn't happy in my last relationship at all and just wanted someone to be there. Ol' Liz Lemon will not make that mistake again!
.com
The date finally happened yesterday and it went very well. We wound up discussing getting together for another one only moments after it ended. Who knows what, if anything will happen but at this point, but I feel pretty ready to try dating again. It's a nice feeling to know she lives only a few minutes away too. I wound up very nervous walking into the restaurant but within about a minute, things were off to a good start and we had some great conversation.
At the very least, I have a new local friend and concert buddy. I've been needing a concert buddy for ages and I'm pretty okay with it being a beautiful woman that's interested in me. *sigh* I'm going to be crushing pretty fucking hard until further notice. <3
Also, she's got an incredible ass. She's prefect all over, but her ass. Oh god that ass.
Last edited by johnbron; 02-11-2013 at 12:20 AM.
Flaccid Member
I've been with my girlfriend for nearly three years now. She's my next door neighbour of all people.
Strangest of circumstances I know. But we see eye to eye on a lot of things, and have a lot in common. We share the same taste in music and both have a love of fitness (she's a dancer) which is great. To find someone who shares the same taste in music is very rare, and to find her next door of all places is strange. The funny thing is that she had lived next door for just over a year before we even met each other. I had seen her twice in all of this time, firstly when I went for a run one afternoon, she was hanging here clothes out on the line. Secondly, when I was taking in the bins, she was getting lemons from her lemon tree. But we never talked, just smiled and went our different ways.
Compared to my first relationship, it's almost like being in a dream (I resent my ex; I hope she never finds happiness, she doesn't deserve to be happy). We never fight, and if there is any tension, we always talk it out. We both believe that we won't solve any problems if we give each other the 'silent treatment'. We're both in our last year of university now, and plan to travel once we've finished. We don't know where yet, but it will be awesome.
.com
While showering earlier, I realized how much I wanted to tell this woman that I wanted her. So I did via text. It went well. Thank fuck.
Active Member
^Good move. Instincts are always good and being honest is always better than pussyfooting and playing games.
JoBro starts as he means to go on!
Active Member
You didn't text WHILE you were in the shower?
My long distance relationship is still working. For now, the space is good.
.com
Heh. I might have if the phone had been in the bathroom.
She and I are going out again this Friday. Probably a movie and some drinks and dinner. I really hope this continues to work out. I really want a woman in my life again. So many things about a relationship that I miss.
BACKROLLS?!
I am legitimately thinking of spending Valentine's by giving steak to my cat and watching 500 Days of Summer.
Bent Member
I just got invited to join Senior FriendFinder. Excuse me while I crawl into bed for a week.
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