Originally Posted by
The_Prowler
When I lost The-One-That-Got-Away, I was completely inconsolable for months (neither of us handled it very well. She stopped talking to me hoping that I'd get the hint, and I tried to hang on to someone that I'd obviously lost and was in denial about what was going on for weeks). I reached a point where I wasn't exactly considering doing something drastic to myself, but I literally did not care if I didn't wake up the next day. I barely ate enough to stay alive, I didn't sleep enough, and I slipped into a deep depression and my health took a steep decline (as a Type 1 diabetic, not waking up became a very real possibility).
Luckily, I had my music. My band literally became the thing that kept me alive because, as stupid as it may sound, I had commitments with them that I felt I couldn't break. It didn't matter how depressed I was; as long as I was playing, I was the happiest I could possibly be. Granted, I would feel horrible again as soon as the show was over, but during those hours, everything else slipped away. I'd like to say it was like a 12 step program for me, but I've never been in one so I can't make that comparison in good conscience.
Finally, what helped the most was closure. I was able to talk to her (through E-Mail, but it was better than nothing) about some of the things that happened and she tried to explain what happened. We eventually exchanged our final goodbyes, and I felt like I was finally able to move on. It was still a long time before I was ready to try and date again, and there were many days when I would miss her so much that it physically hurt. But those days slowly became less and less frequent and I started to heal. It was finally another year after our final message that I thought "okay, I think I'm ready to possibly entertain the thought of considering thinking about maybe trying to date again". It's been about four years since I had that thought.
Sure, there are still days when I think about her and what it would be like if we were still together, but at least I don't break down into a pathetic mass of tears when it happens and now it's more of a "what if" scenario rather than an "I wish" one.
It all comes down, in my opinion, to time and what matters most to you in your life. Music, art, friends, family, your job, whatever it is that makes you happy can end up saving you. I can't promise that sewing the pieces of your heart back together will be easy, but it does eventually get better. I hope it's easier for you than it was for me.