I am trying to see. I am trying to believe. This is not where I should be. I am trying to believe.
I am trying to see. I am trying to believe. This is not where I should be. I am trying to believe.
I believe I can see the future
'Cause I repeat the same routine
I think I used to have a purpose
But then again, that might have been a dream
I listened to the words he'd say
But in his voice I heard decay
It keeps growing and I can feel it breathe. I have been trying to behave myself. I have been trying to tolerate you. Well I am reaching the point.
I thought this would go away but it continues. The only constant. Every day. Stronger.
I will use my voice and I will use my fist to destroy everything I can.
Now I know what this is all about. Now I know exactly what I am. There is a seed inside of me that makes me.
Tried to save a place from the cuts and the scratches.
Tried to overcome my complications and the catches.
Nothing ever grows and the sun doesn't shine all day.
Tried to save myself but myself keeps slipping away.
I tried. I gave up. Throw it away.
and where the fuck where you?
I pick things up
I am a collector
And things, well things, they tend to accumulate
I have this net
It drags behind me
It picks up feelings
For me to feed upon
drifting into the abstract in terms of how I see myself
Was listening to Right Where it Belongs while observing people play Pokemon Go. This seemed to fit my state of mind
You can live in this illusion
You can choose to believe
You keep looking
But you can't find the woods
While you're hiding in the trees
Everyone I know
Goes away
in the end
And you could have it all
my empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt
If I could start again
a million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way
My whole existence is flawed.
This isn't meant to last. This is for right now.
Perfect little dream. The kind that hurts the most. Forget how it feels. Well almost. No one to blame. Always the same. Open my eyes. Wake up. Wake up in flames.
Smashed up my sanity. Smashed up integrity. Smashed up what I believed in. Smashed up what's left of me. Smashed up my everything. Smashed up all that was true. Gonna smash myself to pieces. I don't know what else to do.
Everyone I know goes away in the end.
I jumped from every rooftop. So high. So far to fall. I feel a million miles away. I don't feel anything at all.
I wake up on the floor. Start it up again, like it matters anymore. I don't know if it does. Is this really all that there ever was? Put the gun in my mouth. Close your eyes. Blow my fucking brains out. Pretty patterns on the floor. That's enough for you, but I still need more.
I fucked it all away. Now I'm nothing.
Last edited by Halo Infinity; 08-14-2016 at 07:49 AM.
My voice just echoes off these walls
I built it up now I take it apart. Climbed up real high now fall down real far.
Try so hard to make the pieces all fit. Smash it apart just for the fuck of it.
Broken. Bruised. Forgotten sore.
Poisoned to my rotten core.
Fuck the rest and stab it dead.
Watch the white turn to red. It fills up the hole but it grows somewhere else instead. All my life, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, but it just left me dead.
Never be enough to fill me up.
All the spoils of a wasted life.
But they start to make me think things I don't want to know.
Just how far down can I go? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.
I think I could lose myself in here.
Last edited by Halo Infinity; 09-03-2016 at 07:00 AM.
~adrift and at peace music~
N̢ow̷̡͏ ̀ţ́ha̴̸͞t̕ ̸y͟o̵̧u̵͜͡ ̶̷h͢͟͝àv̶̀̕ȩ͘͡ ̴g̶o̸̕n̸e͘҉ ̸̕a͏w̷̡̛á̴y͢
͟I̛'̧m̸ ҉j̸̸́ų͟s͏t̶ ̀͜tr̡͞y͢in̡͜g ́t͟o̷ ̧́f̀in͡d̢̀ ̀m̡y͘͜ ͝ẁ͝ąý
definitely the entirety of "not the actual events".
I'm locked inside here
I have to stay
With people who aren't here
All the way
Pictures and faces
On display
Of people who aren't here
All the way
You let me do this to you.
Earlier this year:
And you didn't even notice that you're missing
Just go back to the idea of me
These days:
And I am stronger than I have ever been in my decline
NTAE was the punch in the face I needed.
Last edited by Blade3327; 01-01-2017 at 10:42 PM.
All I do, I can still feel you.
All I do, I can still feel you.
All I do, I can still feel you.
Numb all through
I can still feel you
Hear your call
Underneath it all
Kill my brain, yet you still remain
Crucified, after all I died. After all I tried, you're still inside.
All I do, I can still feel you.
You remain, I am stained.
My world is getting smaller every day and that's okay.
Break through the surface and breathe.
It's getting hard to know which side is the dream. I can't tell if I am dreaming anymore.
All this has happened all before
And this will happen all again
And I only have myself to blame
And I only have myself to blame
I hate everyone.
I am whole
I believe
I am whole
I am free
I am whole
I can see
Always here
Finally
Tried to save a place from the cuts and the scratches. Tried to overcome the complications and the catches. Nothing every grows and the sun doesn't shine all day.
Tried to save myself, but myself keeps slipping away.
"Try to laugh about it now, but isn't it funny how everything works out?"
I'm going back! Of course I am! As if I ever had a choice!?