teehee!Originally Posted by theruiner
gosh!
OK, FINE!
Hairy Member
teehee!
gosh!
OK, FINE!
Rocket Star
The subject of being childfree always reminds me of one particular gripe I have: I have a few acquaintances who are adamantly and vocally childfree (I do not have kids but I'm not opposed to having them someday). These particularly vocal friends will bitch all the time about "breeders" and how obnoxious they are on facebook, posting every detail of their child's existence - but they themselves do the EXACT SAME THING about their pets. It cracks me up. I actually saw someone post something about how you should beware of hanging cords on blinds, because your cat looking out the window could get tangled up and choke themselves so "everyone with pets should read this! And babies, too, I guess."
Throbbing Member
Hey guys! I found this website, very comprehensive information about how to be CHILDFREE
http://bedsider.org/methods
Hairy Member
I'm not opposed to the idea of marriage and children in the future, but because I want to finish school and get a career started, those things aren't really a priority right now. My parents and sister are totally supportive of my choice, but my extended family? It's an alien concept to them. Every so often I get bombarded with questions about my love life and when I'm going to start dating someone again (the answer: When I get out of this godforsaken anti-intellectual city and meet someone who appreciates that I'm not an airhead), and I haven't been asked about having kids for a while, probably because I snapped at the last person to ask me that. I guess I should be lucky that I haven't been harangued about my decision to hold off on marriage and kids by total strangers.
Flaccid Member
It's not so much marriage I'm opposed to, rather it's the whole wedding business. What an absolute waste of money.
Down, but not out.
It just occurred to me yet again that I intensely dislike it when parents make countless excuses for their children's atrocious behavior. It's no wonder why some of those parents are also horrible to speak to. The nuts really don't fall far from the tree in such cases. I'll suppose that I'll just never understand the "They're just children." cop-outs. Age is no excuse for being a douche bag or a first-class asshole. The same can be said about teenagers too.
Last edited by Halo Infinity; 12-15-2011 at 07:32 PM.
Active Member
Whaaa? Dude, they're just little kids, they don't know any better. This goes beyond life experience; biologically, their brains aren't fully developed. You can't fault them for that. Plus, at that age, bad behavior a lot of the time can be blamed on bad parenting, though, obviously, that's not always the case. Sometimes kids are just being kids, and they have no control of that. It's just where they are in their brain development.
That being said, every time I hear a kid screeching and throwing a giant temper tantrum in the middle of a store I feel like jumping out a window. I don't blame the kid, and really, I don't blame the parent, because I know even the most well-behaved kids can have their moments, but God damn does it drive me up a wall. I have sympathy, but that doesn't make it any less annoying.
gettin' jiggy wit it
Small children can't help it, and while current thought is that parents should not "give in" to tantrums (since that's why the kiddo throws them in the first place), it's just irritating as fuck to everyone around. Older than maybe 4 or 5, the kids should have enough discipline and self-control to not be whiny screaming brats. Those are the kids/parents that piss me off.
Bite me
When a child or baby is doing that, no matter the age, the parents should remove the child. Period. That's the way it was for many generations, it's proper. That's why there are cry rooms in churches. My mother removed us, her mother removed her, it was always done, for good reason.
Manners aside, it's sad for me to see a young child desperately trying to communicate with his/her mother, while said mother has completely tuned him/her out. I don't give a shit what they're teaching parents, now, that's sending a clear and indelible message to the kid: my mother is abandoning me for her iPhone or her friends; she is not reliable. Meanwhile, I get a migraine from this drama unfolding in Macy's.
Active Member
Oh, I see this so often on the bus/in the street and it makes me want to cry. Parents who shout at their kids when they try to speak, or even those that wheel their babies/toddlers onto public transport, turn their pram the wall, and then ignore them for the entire journey. I want to physically hurt these parents. These kids aren't strangers, they're people YOU MADE.
Gilded Member
While I'm not saying this is necessarily a good way to threat children, you don't know anything about their situation other than what you observe at the store. I've witnessed countless times, with my sister and her kids, where the children CONSTANTLY interrupt for non-important things. It's one thing if the kid actually needs something important or is an emergency, but going along with the development of their brains, they need to be taught when it is appropriate to talk to people. If they are clearly talking to someone else, whether it's in person or on a phone, they need to learn courtesy and patience enough to wait.
Banned
I think this has more to do with Western-style parenting. In China, according to the following article, parents have tremendous control over their children's behavior. Of course, the Chinese style also seems to require quite a bit more discipline and time on the parent's part.
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB1000...528698754.html
Down, but not out.
I'm actually talking about older children and teenagers that are rebellious, rambunctious, obnoxious, noisy and arrogant. I do get your point though, and have taken that into consideration. And you're right, bad parenting is often the blame, as I won't deny that either. Sorry about that though, as I did type that out of anger, but some parents really do allow their children and teenagers to be a pain in the ass to others as if they're never in the wrong.
I actually get where you're coming from. As for me, that also makes me feel very awkward.
Exactly. It's a good thing that you do, but I can see why it has that effect on you regardless.
Exactly. I always thought that there was something wrong with that. Children will be belligerent, and there's no question about that either, but such predicaments will obviously aggravate everybody else surrounding you.
Agreed.
Damn, that's just fucked up. Good listening skills are important in any sort of relationship and that certainly includes the child/parent one.
Last edited by Halo Infinity; 12-16-2011 at 12:40 AM.
Hairy Member
Active Member
^^It was just a matter of time before someone brought Louis in here.
Hairy Member
Honestly, if you've ever read interviews with him, or especially if you listen to WTF With Marc Maron podcast (which is amazing, by the way) he talks, in depth, about how having kids completely revolutionized and resurrected his life. Never thought Louis would make me emotional, but I was downright crying by the end of this episode. . There are 8 parts total, but it's so worth it. If there was ever an argument for having kids, it's Louis CK's life and career since he had them. I'm still at the "fuck it, I'm too young to worry about that shit, fuck you" point in my life, but I can see myself going back to the conversation between Marc and Louis when I'm actually grappling with the decision.
Last edited by Aaron; 12-25-2011 at 01:51 PM.
Active Member
^^Oh, I do understand about older kids and teenagers, though. Fuck teenagers with no manners. I know, they might grow out of it and become nice, decent adults. It happens. But they are old enough to know better, without a doubt. I see teenagers all the time hanging out at the local fucking Wal-Mart, running up and down the aisles and generally being loud, obnoxious brats.
Plus, some of it is just bizarre. Today...just today...I'm at the library minding my own business and I hear this voice to the left of me: "Hey, would you like to date us?" This was perplexing, to say the least, so I turn around and it's a couple of teenage girls. I just shook my head and went back to what I was doing and they disappeared somewhere. It was weird. I mean, it wasn't, like, a huge deal or anything, but it was a little annoying (and weird). I'm sure they thought it was really funny for whatever stupid reason.
That being said, I know of young people who are really great and well-behaved, so I know that's possible. And, even though I remember having some obnoxious moments as a teenager, for the most part me and my friends were pretty good kids. We never went around doing anything too awful and were generally pretty nice to people. So. You know. They're out there, too.
Down, but not out.
Oh absolutely. Some children and teenagers are very chill and decent folk. Sometimes it's not true and sometimes it isn't, but it shows through their parents because they're also pleasant to speak to. (Since not all kids are like their parents in that regard and vice-versa.) Thanks for hearing me out theruiner. I completely agree with you there as well.
And yes, that was weird.
Stubby Member
Lots of research has shown that couples with children tend to be unhappier than couples without children.
Further study have shown that this correlation is not causal, though. The real difference is that happier couples make the time to be kind to each other, and this is simply harder - but not impossible - to do when you have kids.
Newspaper article.
Stubby Member
There are seven billion people on the planet. It should be illegal to create more until we figure out what to do with the ones we already have.
Active Member
Before we got married, my fiancee (now my wife of almost 10 years) and I sat down and decided that we don't want biological children. We were serious about it, because there are many children who are already alive that need families, and we think having bio-kids is selfish. We might adopt one day, or maybe we won't. We'll see, but either way we're not in a rush.
I went ahead and got a vasectomy when I was 23 (3 years into my marriage, so we didn't jump the gun). The best thing I ever did. However, I'd like to point out that our doctor made us go to therapy for 6 months before he did the surgery! I actually see his point, since it's irreversible, and I was very young, but still...
Anybody can have kids. You can be a 14 year old white trash high school drop-out, and chances are people will still congratulate you and tell you that being a mom is wonderful and a fucking miracle. You can be incompetent, and not ready, broke, whatever, and you can have a baby.
But when you want to make a decision NOT TO have one, oh no, are you sure about it? You should think it over a million times, and meditate on it, and you're so weird.
It's also considered strange to actually MAKE A DECISION, people just got used to the idea that pregnancy is something that just HAPPENS.
Active Member
If you want a vasectomy, you can still have kids. Just go to the orphanage and adopt one that aforementioned 14 year old white trash shat out a few months ago.
Most children in this country wait over two years to get adopted. All we need to wait is 9 months; lucky us.
Throbbing Member
The adaption procedure in Belgium is ridiculous, no idea how it is in other countries. But it's easier to legally bring home a black market Chinese baby than to adopt a Belgian orphan.
Active Member
People in the US have the common misconception that adoption is expensive and takes forever. Getting a white infant IS. It might be quicker to get a cute little infant from China...
But if you adopt an older child, 4+ year old, through the public system (out of orphanage or foster care), it's not costly and it's very reasonable. Saddens me that people look at these children as "damaged goods", because they WILL have some issues, but you know what, fair enough. They are children who don't have families, of course they'll have issues!
Active Member
Dogs and cats get neutered and spayed. They're cleverer than us.
Active Member
Not that I needed another reason, but...
Average cost of raising a child: $241,000
she/her/hers
$241,000 is a little rich for my blood. Plus, between my psoriasis and various (likely genetic) mental quirks I'd rather not bring someone into this world who's more likely than average to suffer from these ailments.
Active Member
That grinds my gears a lot. I'm involved with a PCOS charity. Symptoms include weight gain (leading to diabetes), female baldness, crazy periods, infertility, excess hair, depression, a suicide rate that is 7 times higher, and a bunch of other things. The women that have it, that I have met, are all really down by it, say it's ruined their lives, that they have no confidence etc. Their one wish in live? To have children, to the point of a million cycles of expensive IVF. Presumably, so they can breed more insecure self-loathing women?! WHY?
Active Member
Because for some reason that I have yet to grasp, parenthood as touted as the most extraordinary high in the world. And while some people are smart and compassionate enough to adopt, most have it ingrained that the only acceptable way to have a child is to have it themselves - nevermind the fact that it might not be in the best interest of that potential child.
My own stance: I'm 99% sure that I don't want kids, as I don't like babies or children. But I do have days where I think about the relationship I have with my parents and think "at that age, I bet I'd want to have an adult son/daughter to share stories with", and I have to remind myself that kids aren't diaper burning snot bags their whole lives. But I'm also scared shitless that the whole "unconditional love" thing couldn't apply to a child who I adopt the same way I'd adopt a dog or a cat, and that the only way I could even possibly love a child unconditionally is if I shared a genetic connection with it from day one. But I don't really believe that would make some magical switch flip either. So...yeah, highly unlikely that I'll ever be a father. Which will probably cost me any chance I have of marrying before I'm 40. But a child is not something I'm going to accept just to tie the knot.
she/her/hers
There's also that. But the fact that my genes are fucked is more important than that, IMO.
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