The Childfree and/or Unmarried Thread

[allegro]

Okay I wanna play!

1. Who's going to take care of you when you get old?
Hahaha, go visit any nursing home and see how many people are in there who were completely abandoned by their children. I'll give you a hint: Most of them.

2. Don't you want a smaller/younger version of yourself?
Um, why? That's sick, dude.

3. Why wouldn't you want to continue your legacy?
I'll do that via my Trust, dude. My Trust won't run off and blow it all on coke and hookers.

4. What if you fall in love?
We'll buy coke and hookers.

5. Why are you being so selfish? / Aren't you being very selfish?
Spawning children is the ultimate form of selfish.

6. How could your life not be meaningless without children?
Think of how meaningless your life will be when your kids run off with drunken coke addict hookers and you're left alone in a nursing home.

7. The human race would die out if everybody had the same views as you.
This wouldn't be a bad thing.

8. Why don't you want to become a parent?
None of your business.

9. When are you going to have children?
Why are you so ugly?

10. You and your parents wouldn't be here if they were childfree?
Bingo!

[redshoewearer]

I have kids but I want to answer too - I waited over 7 years to have kids, while I was going to school, and it used to piss me off when my husband's relatives would harass us. I thought of many snappy comebacks, most of which I never used. Having kids is a personal choice and I wouldn't think less of anyone who chooses not to have them. It is not like we're running out of people.

1. Who's going to take care of you when you get old?
The people I'll be able to afford to pay, with the money I saved from not having kids.

2. Don't you want a smaller/younger version of yourself?
If that's why someone wants kids their misinformed, because guaranteed, your kids will NOT be smaller/younger versions of yourself. You will wonder if they are actually really your kids, based on how they act sometimes. They will be 100% themselves.

3. Why wouldn't you want to continue your legacy?
WTF does that even mean? Legacy? Life is about the good you put back into the world - you don't need kids to do that.

4. What if you fall in love?
What does that have to with anything.

5. Why are you being so selfish? / Aren't you being very selfish?
It is selfish, in a way, to have kids.

6. How could your life not be meaningless without children?
If you are having kids only to give your life meaning, you are really selfish!

7. The human race would die out if everybody had the same views as you.
And your point is?

8. Why don't you want to become a parent?
Uh, what if my kids turned out like you?

9. When are you going to have children?
Do you want to wait in the living room? We can go start trying now....

10. You and your parents wouldn't be here if they were childfree?
Yeah and I wouldn't know about it if I wasn't here.

[icklekitty]

^^I don't really know. Perhaps I'd be like Tea and go through with it for them. But then, if they found marriage *essential* would I even get past a few dates with them?

9. When are you going to have children?
Do you want to wait in the living room? We can go start trying now....

HA! I LOVE this. Next time someone asks me I should just have sex in front of them.

[Alexandros]

^^I don't really know. Perhaps I'd be like Tea and go through with it for them. But then, if they found marriage *essential* would I even get past a few dates with them?

I don't think it's that simple. You would be surprised (or maybe not) at how entrenched the idea of marriage is to some. That person could be (almost) perfect for you, yet retain that one notion. And sometimes it may well not be their notion anyway, it depends on what sort of society you live in and what the family thinks. It's all well and good to say "I don't believe in marriage, I'd rather avoid it", but would you really want to put your partner in a place where he/she has to deal with a disapproving family? And for what is simply one day of ceremony and a signature in a piece of paper? I know it sounds like the coward's way out and a compromise one shouldn't be forced to do, but it is something to think about.

[botley]

I don't think it's that simple. You would be surprised (or maybe not) at how entrenched the idea of marriage is to some. That person could be (almost) perfect for you, yet retain that one notion. And sometimes it may well not be their notion anyway, it depends on what sort of society you live in and what the family thinks. It's all well and good to say "I don't believe in marriage, I'd rather avoid it", but would you really want to put your partner in a place where he/she has to deal with a disapproving family? And for what is simply one day of ceremony and a signature in a piece of paper? I know it sounds like the coward's way out and a compromise one shouldn't be forced to do, but it is something to think about.

There is no such thing as someone who is even "almost perfect" for you. That is a lie, perpetuated by greeting cards. You either love someone to the point where you can meet them halfway on issues where you disagree, or you don't. This was an issue for me in my recent failed LTR. We'd had discussions about getting married one day and I was not very open to the idea (except in the weaselly "maybe I will one day when I'm older" way). My ex had it entrenched in her upbringing that she wanted a marriage in order to start her own family unit... not necessarily with kids, but including a public ceremony. I could sort of understand the desire for that, but I wasn't exactly sure whom it would benefit... was she trying to get back at her parents for splitting up? I don't know.

You make a fair point about cultural differences. I wouldn't want to get involved with someone whose family ties are closely entrenched in strict religious rules that I can't get behind, but people fall in love before they look at that shit all the time.

[Magtig]

I wanna do it! I wanna do it!

1. Who's going to take care of you when you get old?
When I become old and infirm, I'm going to turn to Mr. Magnum. Or Mr. Exhaust Pipe. Or maybe Mr. Huge Epic Cliff.

2. Don't you want a smaller/younger version of yourself?
What am I, Dr. Evil?

3. Why wouldn't you want to continue your legacy?
Oh yeah, like how Paris Hilton continued the legacy of Dick Hilton?

4. What if you fall in love?
Then we'll eat, fuck, and be merry. And we might even include other loving couples in our fucking. And no one will have children, because I have a vasectomy, and all will be right with the world.

5. Why are you being so selfish? / Aren't you being very selfish?
It's selfish to have children, and it's selfish to not have children. If you really must care for a future disease carrier, adopt.

6. How could your life not be meaningless without children?
How could your life be meaningful with children? I like non sequiturs, do you like non sequiturs?

7. The human race would die out if everybody had the same views as you.
Not if we become cylons, bitch.

8. Why don't you want to become a parent?
Because I fuckin hate children you dildo!

9. When are you going to have children?
When hell pops from nothingness into existence, and then proceeds to freeze over.

10. You and your parents wouldn't be here if they were childfree?
I see you understand cause and effect.

YAY! That was fun.