Originally Posted by
theimage13
The solution is to never - in his own words here - PUSH sexual activity on anyone. EVER. PERIOD.
There have been two times in my entire dating history where something as simple as a first kiss happened smoothly, because I wasn't positive it was welcome. I go full on Hollywood-geek-level awkward and literally fumble out some words about how I'm not sure if I should kiss them or not if I don't actually know they would want it. That's generally been received as endearing, and I *think* (only speculating) that it's because my dates have seen, in that moment, that I'd rather risk looking like an idiot than make an unwanted advance.
The solution to avoid unwanted sexual activity isn't to just tell men to never ever initiate anything and leave it up to women. That's just dumb for a number of reasons, including the fact that it ignores numerous problems, and that yes, women can rape men (although it is far, far, far, far, far less common). The solution is open communication between parties as well as an education system that stresses the ability to read and interpret cues that can tell you whether someone is fully willing, mildly hesitant, or unwilling but afraid to say so. But what it really boils down to is this: if you're not 100% clear, DON'T DO ANYTHING.