What has this world come to? Have we lost the idea of decency? I swear, I feel like the past few years have been really fucked up. Not only do we get these awful stories of sexual harassment and sexual assaults from Hollywood, news media, sports, and politics. We also have race riots. Race-baiting. A sense of idiocy emerging. We have a cum-bucket shitbag in the White House. Where did it go all wrong?
Since I don't see too many outlets reporting on this detail:
So glad that this can get a man's entire life's work thrown away, while 16 accusations of far worse can get you....elected (by a losing vote) to the fucking White House."I meant to pat her back after she told me about her unhappiness, and her shirt was open and my hand went up it about six inches. She recoiled. I apologized. I sent her an email of apology later and she replied that she had forgiven me and not to think about it," Keillor told the newspaper. "We were friends. We continued to be friendly right up until her lawyer called."
I hate this damn country. Fuck off, America. Get your goddamn priorities in order.
This hasn't gotten worse. We are just FINALLY seeing a shift where people are comfortable speaking about it.
Talk to any woman who has ever held a job.
Last edited by Sarah K; 11-29-2017 at 09:49 PM.
Thankfully I think people are starting to backtrack those statements as the reporting started to be clarified. When the story - as it was printed in the news - was literally just "accused Monday, unemployed Wednesday," it left it easy for people to jump to conclusions. Thankfully as the day has gone on the reporting has gotten more thorough, and I've already seen several people go "oh...ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Now I get it."
The joy of social media. Release a few sentence statement. Let people freak out about it. Then clarify later.
I think men will have to start reporting unwanted touching from women as well... I know some men feel like it's not something worthy of reporting...but if we are to be equal, we need to.
EDIT:
MORE RUSSELL SIMMONS:
https://pitchfork.com/news/russell-s...t-allegations/
Last edited by cashpiles (closed); 11-30-2017 at 12:10 PM.
This isn’t about men and women and equality; Kevin Spacey was showing his dick to and thrusting himself upon other men; women have sexually harassed women; this is just about DON’T DO IT.
Yeaaaaaaaaah. The day a woman makes an unsolicited and unwelcome sexual advance on me, I'll get right on that.
(to clarify: I'm not saying I'd love any sexual advance from any woman. I'm saying the ratio of times men have done something to women versus the other way around is like 100,000 to 0.5)
Last edited by theimage13; 11-30-2017 at 06:52 PM. Reason: attrocious grammar mistake made this incoherent
Women DO make unsolicited sexual advances, especially when they are in groups or drunk (or both). Watching women behave in that kind of setting (in groups + alcohol) is very eye-opening. A good buddy of mine used to work at a strip club for ladies and he had the marks to prove it: lots of scratches and some bruises, when it was supposed to be just dancing and maybe feeling up.
The difference is how men/women react to it.
For a straight man, having a random woman grabbing your dick, pinching your ass, or trying to kiss you out of the blue is more or less the equivalent of a woman being given a new pair of shoes by a random stranger. Sure, it might not be your favourite pair of shoes, or you might not even like those shoes at all, but it doesn’t hurt and it’s not that big of a deal.
Let’s stop portraying women like their shit doesn’t smell. They are as much of an asshole as men are, it just shows in different ways, but they are just as human, just as good, just as bad.
I think there's a thing where women are (sometimes) considered less of a threat so men (sometimes) respond to it differently. I also think women don't feel the need to be as cognizant of their behavior (sometimes) because they feel like the possibility of being a creep doesn't apply to them. Also, if a woman does sexually assault a man, it's possible that the "are they going to kill me/beat me up" thing exists as a lower threat, but the shoes analogy makes me sad and I don't like it. I think the expectation of men responding that way can compound trauma for a lot of men.
^^ This is the simplest way I can sum it up.
Men can be, are sometimes are, victims of sexual abuse / assault. But it is so infinitesimally rare compared to men doing this to women. It's not an epidemic. It's not a worldwide, systemic plague that governs the lives of men the way that it governs the lives of women. There was a list of things that women usually "have" to do if they go out for a night on the town that men rarely even THINK about doing - things like guarding their drinks, checking in with friends, making sure their friends know where they'll be when they leave to meet a first date, having 9 and 1 already typed in on their phone when they're walking to their car. The comments section was full of stores where women put up with shit they don't deserve to put up with because they've been conditioned to take the safest, most passive route out in order to avoid a potentially life-threatening conflict.
I was out for a walk in a wooded trail in a statistically safe / low-crime area in broad daylight the other day. A woman - clearly fit and probably able to easily kick my scrawny ass - was out running, came around a bend in the trail, looked visibly shocked at the sight of me (a man, alone), and veered as far away from me as the trail would allow. It was a wide trail; this was definitely not an "I don't want to accidentally knock him over" courtesy veer. A guy out running wouldn't react that way if he came across a woman out walking alone because there is NOTHING in his mind that's saying "oh god, what if this woman is one of the bad ones?".
Stuff like this *sometimes* happens to men, but it's *always* happening to women. So when a man walks into a conversation about women being abused and makes any attempt to say "hey, what about us?", it's a little tone-deaf. Conversations about women being abused by men are about a global epidemic. Men being abused by women? No intelligent woman thinks that it doesn't happen, but they know that it's on such a massively different scale that it really just kind of seems like yet another example of men trying to make things about themselves.
The best thing we can do is be allies. That doesn't mean stepping into a conversation about women being assaulted and trying to make it about how we're sometimes assaulted too. It means stepping into a conversation, acknowledging that there is a massive problem, and maybe asking what you can do to help make that problem go away. Look at it another way: you support equal treatment for people regardless of whether they're straight or gay, right? But let's say you're straight. You're not going to walk into a conversation about someone getting murdered for being gay and go "STRAIGHT PEOPLE GET MURDERED TOO!". But what you can do is acknowledge that they're facing discrimination, add your voice to the list of those who support and respect them, and raise that voice if they ask for help being heard.
tl;dr: There's a time and a place to raise concerns about men being assaulted, and conversations about women being assaulted isn't that time or place. You can be an ally and a supporter without making it about you.
went back and forth to respond they do it to are bad foundations for discussion i don't dismiss it immediately like i do name calling here's things in life a re very rarely 1:1 to many variables on each side, at this point in history most things have been done, so I can justify any kind of behavior, no matter how foul, by saying but so and so did it. do women commit acts of sexual misconduct of course they do. does that excuse men. no. 90% percent of serial killers are white males. does that make serial killing OK?no.
it goes a lot deeper than that, to lengthy to get into on an internet forum. but how we reward or punish people in our modern society. so when we see people behaving badly it's usually deeper than the action when we see rich people arrested for drunk driving, we go why didn't the get a cab or Uber. so when some like Matt gets busted who made 48 million a year not even in my comprehension, last time i checked that kind of cash could probably get you a pretty high end pro. who would act or do anything you wanted. when we see an pandemic of bad behavior, we have to look at causes and solutions, and building constructive dialogue, and before you call me a cuck lefty, snowflake bastard, it starts, at home teaching you sons the correct way to treat to treat woman with respect and equality. and yes that starts with you Mr. president, using the term pussy as term for woman is a derogatory slur and you should be called out on it, you are a bad example for your children and our country. OK I'm done for now. As per a discussion last night with someone who has kids of both genders. asked. So I guess we can't have hero's anymore? to which I explained yes, but also explain in non religious terms that all humans are flawed. why that behavior is wrong, what the right behavior would be. again sorry for being long winded.
-Louie
Last edited by Louie_Cypher; 12-02-2017 at 11:06 AM. Reason: the and they
I'll delete my post since it could be seen as offensive.
What the fuck are you talking about?
First off all, that "new pair of shoes" bullshit is incredibly sexist. Fuck that.
Second of all, let me be perfectly clear about this: if a drunk woman came up to me and grabbed my ass or my dick or tried to make a move on me, my reactions would be one of the below, in no particular order:
1) Try to find a friend of hers who appears sober and get the woman some help sobering up,
2) Brush it off entirely and ignore it (while still being pissed off about it), or
3) Tell her in no uncertain terms to fuck off because I'm not interested in some drunk woman sexually harassing me (note, I would have to already be in a really, really bad mood and probably actually know the woman - it's not in my nature to get angry with strangers)
Let me be perfectly clear about what my reaction would NOT be:
1) This is great!
2) This is pretty good.
3) This is remotely acceptable behavior that I am not completely upset about.
Let's stop portraying sexual harassment as something that's GOOD if a woman does it to a man. That's the dumbest shit I've ever heard. And let's stop the idiotic "women love shoes" sexist bullshit stereotypes while we're at it. They're not helping anybody.
Well, I'm not taking it seriously that, no, I do not think that you think the average man processes being groped unwanted in an equivalent way to being handed shoes.
I *am* taking it seriously in the sense that, that mentality or the expectation of that mentality from men, is commonplace. And the fact that it is commonplace is sad and harmful.
While you may have framed it in a way that was attempted to be humorous, I don't think my response is any more literal than your initial comment, which while it did contain a joke, does illustrate a line of thinking that is problematic and pervasive.
The analogy is just as sexist as people generalizing and talking about men in general based on a certain group of douchebags abusing women. I find it amusing how certain stereotypes are a complete taboo and get people up in arms, but other stereotypes can be brushed off like “meh, whatever, no big deal”. I guess it depends on what fits a certain narrative and what doesn’t.
It’s interesting that you didn’t mention “going to social media and ranting about it using the trendy hashtag that everyone is using” or “making a big deal about it”. And that is my point: as uncomfortable as it might be, for a man in general is not a big deal –unless of course it goes too far– because sexuality is not approached in the same way by men and women.
What we have here is a switch of standards, from one that allowed men to get away with reprehensible behaviour to another that sets the female perspective as the new set of rules.
This might be a step towards more equal rights for women in society. So men must control their behavior, because it can cause harm. However, what about women helping men by wearing clothing that doesn't draw men's eyes to the parts of women's bodies that women don't like random men looking at. It's sometimes almost an automatic reaction to look at cleavage. I have to catch myself after I do it and look away. It's so awkward.
Last edited by cashpiles (closed); 12-03-2017 at 01:01 PM.
Dude, no one gives a shit if you look at cleavage and catch yourself and look away. It's only awkward if you make it awkward. Nobody needs to "help" anyone be less creepy.
THAT'S CALLED VICTIM BLAMING
Sorry, that needed to be yelled because it's a huge fucking problem. If you can't stop looking at a woman's tits, that is not her fault and not her problem. Control yourself or lock yourself at home. It has not, is not, and will NEVER be a woman's fault that YOU couldn't stop looking or keep your hands off of her. Period. End of story.
Dick and tits are not equal.
Nope. Female breasts are biologically there for one reason: to feed babies. They're not biologically intended to be sexual. Our culture made them sexual.
And, dressing provocatively is not and has never been an invitation to be assaulted or even ogled, particularly in the workplace. Stop blaming women for your stupidity and caveman primitivity.
Many of these guys accused of sexual misconduct WHIPPED OUT THEIR RESPECTIVE DICKS IN THE OFFICE.
IN THE OFFICE.
Like, who DOES that except for powerful evil assholes?
If somebody did that to me, seriously, I'd run screaming and then I'd cry. A lot.
It's not sexy, it's not interesting, it's not anything except scary and awful.
this is not a "female perspective" -- this is a civilized human being perspective.
Personally, I am LOVING this whole thing because it's making the harassment and abuse a DANGEROUS ACTIVITY. Not an acceptable activity that's covered up.
Last edited by allegro; 12-03-2017 at 01:23 PM.
And this is how ONE post by a random anonymous user of the internet debunks decades of studies and research in psychology and sexuality.
Reality is our behaviour is not strictly biological.
Under your limited perspective, mouths are there for feeding, speaking and breathing, not for sucking dicks, eating pussy or even kissing. Same thing could be said for the anus: it is there for shitting, not for taking dicks or any objects.
Now you know, gay people, you got it all wrong.