Likes: 
Faceplams: This could be interesting. May have to listen to this later.
http://www.npr.org/sections/health-s...nsgender-child
Active Member
This could be interesting. May have to listen to this later.
http://www.npr.org/sections/health-s...nsgender-child
Administrator
Active Member
Today is the Transgender Day of Remembrance, a day to remember those transgender people who were murdered in the last year. In the United States alone there were 21 trans women murdered, the VAST majority of them trans women of color. I've yet to come across any statistics on trans masculine or non-conforming folks but I would post them if I could. Needless to say, they're in danger as well.
It's hard for me to wrap my head around the level of hatred you'd have to have to take another human life. It's hard for me to wrap my head around how someone can dislike us just for trying to be happy. I seriously don't get it. But they do. I see it. I see it a lot. And it's not just dislike, it's venomous, visceral, serious hatred. It's disgust. I'll never understand why this strikes such a nerve for some people but apparently we do. 1 in 12 trans women are murdered and the rate for trans women of color is even worse at 1 in 8. 1 in 8. It's staggering.
I was reading through the names of the people who have died, their ages, the cause of death. Many of them were young. Many were in their 20s. One was 17. They didn't even get the chance to live yet, and very likely finally were able to live as their authentic selves for the first time in their lives and then their life was taken from them. It was taken simply because they were different. That's the unacceptable and sad reality of the society we live in.
Here's a good article on the subject, including the names and information on the trans people killed, both in the U.S. and around the world.
http://www.advocate.com/transgender/...hose-weve-lost
Active Member
Lord help me, I'm going to post recent pics.
A year and a half on hormones.
I think I look best in the first pic, but everyone is telling me I look better in the second and I think my hair looks best in the third. I am a mess.
http://i.imgur.com/EfB2k9e.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/vxCvVfo.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/HVdnaPC.jpg
Last edited by theruiner; 11-23-2015 at 08:52 PM.
Bite me
You look HAPPIEST in 2. I like 3.
Re hair: You have a high prominent forehead, you could rock some bangs to not draw attention to that; that's what Tyra Banks does.Soft bangs, not Frankenstein straight across bangs. Or try a middle part, that's what Christina Hendricks does. Or, at some point, if you have really thin hair you can rock some seriously awesome wigs. Lots of MODELS do. Like Chrissy Tiegen!!
Also, here is a girl trick in drawing your brows:
edit: GO TO THIS PAGE, IT EXPLAINS IT BETTER THAN ME. There is an art to eyebrow SHAPE, too!
I prefer eyebrow POWDER, not pencil.
(I love products by the queen of brows, Anastasia)
You are not a mess. Stop being so down on yourself! This is just a process on your road and it is hard and sometimes estrogen possession is no fun. :-) Hang in there. We will give you girl makeup and clothes tips if you want. Hugs.
Last edited by allegro; 11-24-2015 at 10:40 AM.
she/her/hers
you look lovely and it warms my heart to see you smiling. thank you for inviting us in on so much of this journey with you. <3Originally Posted by theruiner
Active Member
Thank you for the advice Allegro! You know what's funny, my forehead hasn't really bothered me up until now but within the last week or so, I guess since I took these pictures, it has really started to bother me. Same with my hands (which I swear are not nearly as big as they look in the pics, but for some reason they look GIGANTIC there). But at least I can always get facial feminization surgery at some point if I need to (which should help with the forehead, among other things). Also, I don't have any idea why my nose looks so huge in that second pic, but...gah. Ha. I guess everyone is their own worst critic.
Yeah, the eyebrows are definitely something I need to work on. The problem is I'm only part time right now and have to be in guy mode most of the time, so I don't want to do anything drastic to them yet. But I should probably get them cleaned up a bit, I guess. Maybe that will help a little until I am full time and can actually do them the way I want. But I do appreciate the advice and am going to keep that in mind, for sure! And I appreciate the offer for help. I definitely have a lot to learn about this stuff. I think I do an OK job on my makeup but I am still a novice there, too.
You made my day with that.
Thank you! It means so much to me that everyone has been so supportive. I'm happy to share my journey with everyone. I'm still not sure if I'm going to continue (there have been so many times I seriously thought about stopping) but regardless it's still a journey, no matter where I end up, I suppose. I just feel bad, like, if I end up deciding not to transition that I am...fooling people? I don't know. But for now I'm moving forward so I guess I'll just kind of update everyone as I go.and it warms my heart to see you smiling. thank you for inviting us in on so much of this journey with you. <3
Sorry, I got sidetracked there. But thank you, both of you, for the kind words. It really does mean a lot (and thank you for the likes from everyone else, and the general support around here. There's a reason I still love this board).
Oh, also, I had something pretty cool happen over the weekend. My mom and sister had never seen me in girl mode in person. My sister had seen tons of pictures but my mom had only seen, like one.
I'm not out to my step dad which is a huge part of the reason why I haven't gone to my mom's in girl mode. This past weekend he had gone out of state to help his mom with something so I figured this would be my chance. So I did! I went to my mom's in girl mode. And it went shockingly well. My mom has always said (when I asked, she didn't volunteer this) that she can't tell much of a difference in my face so far. And sure enough, when I came out with my hair in a ponytail she said I looked nice but still didn't look much different. But then later on in the night I put my hair down and she was like, holy crap, ok NOW you look different!
And that was kind of amazing. Because I honestly did not think that was going to happen at all. But yeah, apparently I look more feminine with my hair down (or so I'm told). And then she went further and was like, let me help fix your hair. This was not something I had ever done with my mom before. This was the first time that she was kind of treating me like a daughter (which isn't her fault, it's mine for always being in guy mode when I see her, this is the first opportunity she's actually had). It felt pretty great, I have to say.
So...yeah. That happened. And I've been going out in girl mode more and more (mostly to the store but I have gone to lunch a couple of times that way and a movie). I was feeling pretty great about it but now I'm becoming more self conscious, mostly because of my facial hair. I need to start laser hair removal but I'm very nervous because it's the first permanent thing I've done (even the stuff that hormones do is almost all reversible, although sometimes surgery is needed). So..yeah. I'll get there eventually. I hope.
Last edited by theruiner; 11-24-2015 at 09:21 AM.
Bite me
Absolutely everybody is their worst critic! But, we are born with certain things we can't change all THAT much, I have something of a high forehead, too, and it drives me nuts! I am not sure that surgery can fix THAT. Look at Tyra Banks, that girl has a forehead the size of Montana but she's still a SUPERMODEL, she just finds ways to work with it. The eyebrows thing, you can DRAW that in, honey! I have BLONDE eyebrows that you can't even SEE and I look like friggin' MANSON without brow powder!!! LOL! So, powder washed off, no trace of it at work, voila. I don't think your nose looks big at all, you have a very nice straight nose. Hair, we can't do much about that but I'll tell ya, most of the people you see in the media? THAT AIN'T THEIR HAIR! They got EXTENSIONS, and LOTS OF THEM, or they have wigs. I follow Chrissy Tiegen on Instagram and she talks about her wigs and extensions all the time, at least she doesn't lie about them. Same thing with eye lashes, those mascara commercials have women wearing FALSE EYELASHES. We have false information and it makes us feel crappier about ourselves and it's crap, so it's nice when supermodels are honest and say "ha! those aren't my eyelashes! that ain't my hair!"
See my edited post, above, I gave you a link that better explains the pencil trick shaping your brow, which you can also do in drawing in (using powder or pencil) the extended part of a brow.
That's a really cool thing with your Mom, her fixing your hair and stuff and treating you like a daughter.
Last edited by allegro; 11-24-2015 at 10:41 AM.
Active Member
You got me curious, so I went and checked and they can actually help with the forehead (http://facialfeminization.eu/procedu...-recontouring/).
Facial Feminization Surgery in general is pretty amazing, though (http://www.drspiegel.com/ffs-surgery-photos/). They're all pretty great, but the one on the top row, far right is just amazing.
I appreciate the advice on hair but I'm really not interested in a wig or extensions. I really don't mind my hair, honestly. Of all the things that I want to change about myself, my hair is actually not one of them.
Which is nice, because most things I need work on. ha! Like the fact that hormones aren't really working very well. My doctor's only response is, "well, let's just up your dose" so now I'm on 8 mg of estrogen a day and most people max out at 6, and even that is kind of high. So now I am going back to him in a month to go over my latest labs and I'm going to probably ask him to switch me to something else instead of pills (patches, injections or maybe even the pellet that they inject under your skin). I've heard from other trans people that they didn't have very good results until they switched to a different delivery method and then all of a sudden it started working. At this point, at a year and a half in, even with modest progress I should be seeing a LOT more than I am.
Bite me
That's recontouring, not changing the length of it though. I mean, if a forehead is 6" tall instead of 4" tall, that's just natural size. Some girls have a really short forehead and they can't change that, vs. some have a really tall forehead. I inherited my dad's forehead which makes my hairline look "receding" because my hair is thinner at the edges, whereas my mom has a pretty short forehead, I got a "square" shape face from both of them. The "differences" they talk about in your url like slope and brow ridge aren't really noticeable in you, imho. (That looks like nasty surgery, ugh.)
Look how tall her forehead is, and look how she is lessening attention to it using hair.
Look how short her forehead is, relative to the prior forehead.
Holy Jesus, whatever you do, just don't do this, LOL (Stella McCartney).
I only mentioned hair because sometimes that can be a quick way to de-accentuate something like a forehead, it's something we girls do all the time. And, YOU mentioned hair in your initial post.
I'm glad you are considering a better and more effective form of hormone delivery, though; are they also suppressing your T a lot?
Last edited by allegro; 11-24-2015 at 06:43 PM.
Active Member
Thank you for the links. Yeah, that actually makes a lot of sense (the pictures definitely helped). I don't know. Maybe it won't bother me as time goes on but it's like, it wasn't bothering me before but for some reason it just started bugging me recently. I'm actually kind of shocked how much I'm not bothered by other things. Like, my hands seems like something that would normally bother me a lot but for some reason they (mostly) don't. So, I don't know. Maybe because I can't change them so I've just made peace with it.
Oh, I hope I didn't come off as mad, I wasn't at all. I actually really appreciate the tips about the hair, especially the forehead thing, because it did just start bothering me quite a bit.I only mentioned hair because sometimes that can be a quick way to de-accentuate something like forehead, it's something we girls do all the time. And, YOU mentioned hair in your initial post.
Also, I wasn't clear in my first post, totally my fault. I meant that I do like my hair best in pic 3, but the others were fine, too. When I said I was a mess, I meant that my brain was a mess (because I felt like I was rambling in my post).
Yeah, my T is pretty much destroyed. Heh. I mean, my T was actually pretty low to begin with, much lower than the normal male range, and now it's really low, and there's still some (as there should be, of course) but just not a lot. And my E is in the normal female range.I'm glad you are considering a better and more effective form of hormone delivery, though; are they also suppressing your T a lot?
Bite me
I was just wondering because you said you had facial hair.
Administrator
I was nobody. Nothing.
oh my dear god.
It was bad enough when the news kept saying that they didn't know the motive.
Ummmm...maybe because these morons go on and on about PP "murderin' babies, b'god," and your news station constantly blares their idiotic remarks for all to hear, including reclusive maniacs with guns? Yeah. I could have helped with the motive part.
And now Cruz has hit a new low.
Administrator
Yeah, because when I think of someone attacking a PP clinic, it would be a leftist activist.
Active Member
This is a fantastic article, written by Hari Nef (those who have seen the latest season of "Transparent" would know her as Gittel on that show). It's so spot on it hurts.
https://i-d.vice.com/en_gb/article/w...uk-translation
24.24.1.1397
""I keep seeing you and a few other people on FB mention Transparent a lot. Is there anywhere (free, or Netflix) online I can watch it?
Active Member
I watched it on Amazon Prime. You can actually get a free month, which is more than enough time to binge both seasons (the episodes are only half an hour a piece). As long as you cancel before your trial period is up you're golden.
It really is a terrific and beautiful show.
Active Member
I watched season 2 in two sittings. As good as season 1.
Article in my alma mater's magazine:
Transgender student finds herself—and her soul mate
Active Member
I am not quite done with this yet (getting very close, though) but I just can't wait until I finish to post about it (there's a link at the bottom if you want to see what I'm talking about before I go into my spiel here).
This is one of the best, most important and most empowering books I have ever read. I can't even explain how much this book means to me, or how glad I am to have this in my collection. She explores in incredible depth how sexism affects trans women (and all women and men too, for that matter, but this book focuses on sexism as it relates to the trans experience, for the most part), how it shapes and affects many of our experiences growing up and how it shapes the way feminine trans women specifically see and relate to femininity (which isn't necessarily true of all of us as no one person can speak for an entite group of people but it certainly was insanely spot on for me). Most importantly for me, it explores and COMPLETELY dismantles, in depth pretty much every trans misogynistic, cissexist and transphobic argument I've ever heard trying to invalidate our identities as women. As many times as I have heard these arguments, as many times as they've left me feeling furiously anrgy and sad and hopeless and worthless, I can't tell you how amazing it feels for someone to explain exactly why all of these arguments are bullshit.
I cannot tell you how many times while reading this book I damn near (literally) cheered out loud because she nailed something so perfectly and thoroughly. For anyone interested in the subject matter I cannot recommend this book enough. I can't say that I agree with everything she says but most of it, probably 95% of it, is completely spot on.
http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/158005...fQL&ref=plSrch
Last edited by theruiner; 12-26-2015 at 06:08 PM.
Alt-Left Leaning Cunt
I've mentioned Precious a few times here before... She will be the first trans* bride to appear on Say Yes to the Dress. I'm super excited for her. This last year has just been full of accomplishments and unique experiences for her.
I will now reluctantly share a BuzzFeed article about it. I'm sure there will be better ones after the show airs.
http://www.buzzfeed.com/meredithtalu...ess#.wsLPXAK1Y
Bite me
OMG, I friggin' LOVE SYtoD ATLANTA, this will be AWESOME!I've mentioned Precious a few times here before... She will be the first trans* bride to appear on Say Yes to the Dress. I'm super excited for her. This last year has just been full of accomplishments and unique experiences for her.
I will now reluctantly share a BuzzFeed article about it. I'm sure there will be better ones after the show airs.
http://www.buzzfeed.com/meredithtalu...ess#.wsLPXAK1Y
Active Member
So, like, I have a pretty big update to share.
As I'm pretty sure I've mentioned here, over the last couple of years that I've been on hormones I've suffered from a tremendous amount of anxiety. I have been sort of inching forward in my transition but stopping short of anything truly permanent (mainly getting my facial hair lasered off). Yes, hormones change your body but most of the changes are undone once you go off them, save breasts, which can still be corrected via surgery. It was still risky being as unsure as I was but I just couldn't bring myself to get off the hormones. As many times as I thought I might be making a huge mistake, as many times as I broke down sobbing because I felt this huge weight and pressure that was eating me up inside I just couldn't bring myself to do it.
My therapist had mentioned a few times that she thought my OCD was responsible for not being sure, that deep down I probably did want this but it was masking how I really felt. It was making me doubt and it was clinging to my fear and using it against me (as OCD is wont to do). I resisted going on medications for a long, long time before finally, about two months ago, saying OK. I just couldn't continue living like this. I couldn't continue not knowing and spinning my wheels. I wanted to get on with my life and finally be happy somehow.
I was skeptical that this would be the answer but I had tried almost everything else. I had had moments of clarity where this felt right but it had only lasted a few minutes to a few hours then I'd be back to not being sure. It was awful.
A couple of weeks ago something changed. It just hit me one day: I do want this. And then something kind of amazing happened: it didn't go away. For the first time in years I felt sure- really sure- that this was what I wanted. And a week later it felt the same. And now, over two weeks later, nothing has changed.
After an agonizing couple of years, lots and lots of soul searching, countless hours of therapy and medication I finally have decided what I want. I am pretty much certain now about my decision, I would say 99%, honestly, if I had to put a figure on it. And that decision is that I am, indeed, going to go through with my transition.
Not only has a decision been made but I'm actually, for the first time in YEARS truly excited about my future. I get butterflies in my stomach when I think about living as a woman. I'm getting butterflies as I type this. For the first time in my life I actually feel hope. I truly feel like I'm not just surviving but finally starting to live. I've got a long journey and a lot of work ahead of me but the goal is in sight.
Now I feel comfortable enough to do what I've been too scared to do for so long: start getting laser done on my face. And start working on my voice (probably with a voice therapist that specializes in this).
My sincere hope is that in one year, maybe two at the most, I will be full time. And I already have my new name picked out (not announcing that yet).
So, yeah. That was a long post. Sorry. But thanks for reading if you got this far. And thank you for all the support. Even after all these years I still love this board.
Last edited by theruiner; 03-02-2016 at 07:37 PM.
Alt-Left Leaning Cunt
AHHHHH. Love you.
she/her/hers
uh...you know you're not in the relationship thread, right?
@theruiner so proud of you and so excited for you (and a little jealous, to be honest!)
i love that we've been able to be along for the ride on this journey with you <3
Active Member
Posted in the wrong thread >.<
24.24.1.1397
NYC mayor just passed an executive order that trans individuals can use the public restroom that matches their gender identity. I've only been to NYC a handful of times, and since I now live on the other side of the state I would only really go there for concerts, but it's still great news considering most of the trans bathroom laws being discussed lately...
Active Member
Holy crap, the other Wachowski sibling just came out as trans!
http://variety.com/2016/film/news/an...ly-1201725853/
Active Member
So, bit of an update.
Since I finally made my decision a few weeks ago I have started to really get the ball rolling on my transition. First up: I officially start laser hair removal this Friday! I'm pretty damn excited about it. I'll be doing my stomach, chest, shoulders, back and face. Everything but my face should be done in about 6 months, the face can take a year or more. Once I'm done with laser I'll have to get electrolysis on my gray facial hair (thankfully I don't have too much) as laser only works on dark hair. I may or may not get my arms and hands done as well. Probably. But I'm not starting that right away.
So in about 6 months I will have no more body hair in those places. Ever. They said I may need a touch up every few years as a few (very few) hairs may sprout up but other than that it is permanent. In a year, maybe a little more, almost all of my facial hair will be no more. Within maybe two years all of it will be gone.
The next step is finding a vocal therapist to start working on my voice. I hope to start that in the next month or so.
Last edited by theruiner; 03-15-2016 at 10:02 AM.
Alt-Left Leaning Cunt
https://broadly.vice.com/en_us/video...ource=vicefbus
How do people feel about this? My initial reaction is similar to that in the beginning of the video... thinking it is kinda shitty for a cis woman to be profiting off of teaching trans women how to be more "femme", etc. Helping them with makeup, clothing, and shoes.
However, I can recognize that these women are seeking her and her services out. Still just feels a little wrong. It's one thing to ask friends for advice and tips. But someone making a living off of this seems weird to me. But I've also never been in the position to seek anything like this out.
Thoughts?
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