The Fucking Thread

[elevenism]

Hell, you can just pile a bunch of pillows under her, also spooning.

She says even the spooning (my favorite position) hurts. And the doggie style is her favorite position.
But she REALLY puts her ass into it, you know, she MOVES. Maybe when we do the spooning i should tell her to stay still. and the lying facedown on the bed is a damn good idea too.
Thank all of you, ETS crew, for being concerned about my personal pleasure.

PS, @NYRexall , if you give no fucks, why are you reading the fucking thread?

[playwithfire]

Spooning has become one of my favorite positions as of late. Which is cool as it's something I didn't really do for years due to finding the positioning of it too challenging. But, I've got it now.

[Sarah K]

If I can't have sex, I might as well assist others!

[allegro]

Bwaaaaa ha ha ha!!!!

[aggroculture]

From what I know of you both from here, NYRexall and Sarah K might have stuff in common IRL

Thanks for the advice y'all. I should probably take this over to the relationship thread from now on - also don't want to harsh the buzz in here - but I will answer this:

You know, I don't buy the whole baby ruins the sex life excuse. Yes, we're all tired and maybe it's a bit less than before the baby, but non-existent sex in a committed relationship is NOT the norm. Don't let anyone convince you otherwise - it's just them making an excuse for being lazy, inhibited or embarrassed by their body. One or all of the above. As for looking for sex elsewhere, ask yourself are you wanting that now because you 1.) aren't attracted to your partner anymore 2.) your partner isn't putting out on a regular basis and you really need it regular like a normal person or 3) you really want to fuck someone else for variety. All asked in the vein of the fucking thread. If you had posted in the relationship thread I'd defer any comment to someone who can talk about poly and all that - I got nothing there - I'm a serial monogamist.

The baby is only one piece of the puzzle. Probably the main reason we haven't had much sex is because I have not initiated, or the rare times when she has made affectionate signs, I have not been able to reciprocate, because not attracted to someone who is angry/depressed/upset much of the time. But as I said I feel things are slowly getting better on all fronts (and she is becoming more attractive to me again), so I will be patient, see how things go.

[Sarah K]

Wait... Did I just get offered $10 for sex?

Fucking SOLD.

[Sarah K]

j/k. Up it to $20, and we can talk.

I'm classy.

[elevenism]

oh this is fucking AWESOME

[nin5in]

I have a question for you all: What can make anal sex more enjoyable, because everytime me and my husband attempt it, I just clench up (due to bad experiences with him in the past trying to have anal sex). I try to relax, but I just can't, and we usually end up giving up out of frustration.

[icklekitty]

I usually find that if I've already had an orgasm it's easier. Certain positions help, and I also try to defer my attention to other muscles (I do this when I'm getting a massage too as a I have a tendency to tense wherever is being worked on)

[eversonpoe]

I have a question for you all: What can make anal sex more enjoyable, because everytime me and my husband attempt it, I just clench up (due to bad experiences with him in the past trying to have anal sex). I try to relax, but I just can't, and we usually end up giving up out of frustration.

are you warming up with small toys/fingers beforehand? are you using an appropriate amount of lube? (don't use ANAL LUBE of any kind, because it has numbing agents in it, which are a really bad idea...if it hurts, you're supposed to stop)

basically, you need to warm up/stretch yourself out a little bit so that you're ready to take him. i recommend a tapered buttplug of a decent size, because it will allow you to slowly push it in a little bit at a time, stretching yourself out while you're doing it. maybe start by getting that in you and keeping it there while you have vaginal sex, and then keep trying until you can do proper anal.

good luck and don't hurt yourself!

[Sarah K]

I agree with having an orgasm first... then you tend to be more relaxed.

Also, yes on the lube, and yes on going slow and working up to it. Some guys get a little too eagar. Toys can be good. Fingers can go a long way, too.

[elevenism]

Dan Savage recommends making the man eat the woman's asshole out to relax it...for a LONG time, like 30 minutes.

For me, butt sex is all about the feeling of her being utterly vulnerable to me, and completely giving herself to, and trusting me.
That being said, i only asked her for it once.
I take it slow, but once i get rolling, i'm a weapon of ass destruction.
I can't stand to hear the whimpers of pain, so we don't do it.

Oh, by the way, it's ONE HUNDRED PERCENT about the vulnerability thing for me...pure emotion. I have no driving desire for it.
But i did date this girl several years ago who loved me using a g-spot vibrator with a clit stimulator while i fucked her ass. IDK...maybe try that. She seemed to love it and claimed it made her orgasms far more powerful.
Oh yeah, and of course, we used a SHITLOAD of lube (and like @eversonpoe said, no numbing lube, and for the love of god, dont ever put warming lube on anybody's penis, vagina, or rectum.)

[Sarah K]

30 minutes?!

I'm sorry but 30 minutes of nearly any sex related activity would likely put me into a boredom coma. Plus, I got too much ass. Hah. That wouldn't be fair to anyone.

I also really don't care for it too much. I have only done it with a few people. If they're into it, I'm willing to take one for the team. I can get down with finger fun back there, though!

[nin5in]

are you warming up with small toys/fingers beforehand? are you using an appropriate amount of lube? (don't use ANAL LUBE of any kind, because it has numbing agents in it, which are a really bad idea...if it hurts, you're supposed to stop)

basically, you need to warm up/stretch yourself out a little bit so that you're ready to take him. i recommend a tapered buttplug of a decent size, because it will allow you to slowly push it in a little bit at a time, stretching yourself out while you're doing it. maybe start by getting that in you and keeping it there while you have vaginal sex, and then keep trying until you can do proper anal.

good luck and don't hurt yourself!

Yes he does everything he can to make me relax, but it's more of a psychological thing for me. I guess I just can't get over the time he got too eager and rushed into it.

[nin5in]

Thanks for the advice guys! I will definetly incorporating these into
my bedroom activities.

[Sarah K]

That happened to me the first time. It was an AWFUL experience, and I swore off of it. Then, like every 6 months, I would think that I was prepared, but chickened out at the last moment. It took finding someone who I was extremely compatible with, who I knew would listen to me, and respect my limits if it got to be too much for me.

I'm basically indifferent towards it now. I will never ask for it. But if I end up with someone who I care about, and they ask... I would do it. Would never be something I would do just during play or anything.

Just lube, lube, lube!

[elevenism]

30 minutes?!

your bf/gf isn't doing it right

Shiiiiit, i went down on my girl for at LEAST 2 hours last night.
But then i said something about it...i was kinda bragging, but she thought i was complaining.
So then she said something about my rhythm being off or some shit...it really hurt my feelings, but i think she SAID it to hurt my feelings, blah blah blah...turned into a stupid fucking argument....

So here's the deal (and these two things are KINDA related.) It would seem that i'm not doing it quite right anymore either!...she was gone for 3 months, after about 16 months of 24-7.
She's been back for four. (oh, and we weren't broken up or anything...just a short logistics issue.)
But used to, i could make her cum 10, 12, even 15 times in a marathon oral session like that, and we had got to where she ALWAYS squirted.
Now i'm lucky to get her to cum 3 times, no matter how much lap licking/g-spot tickling i do.

SO, fellow cunning linguists, why the drop in oral orgasms? (I can still give her a 10 plus from regular old sex. I just have a thing about camping out down there.)

[icklekitty]

Receiving oral sex is such a turn-off. Nothing will make me vomit on you faster.

[Sarah K]

I agree with that, as well. I generally hate receiving oral, so I'm not much help there. I enjoy giving, so unsure if it is just my submissive nature or what. But yeah... generally a no go for me

[rhet]

yeah i've never really been into receiving oral either. giving is way more fun. gotten really into rimming lately..makes me come almost instantly. <3 ass

[Sarah K]

I'm so glad that I'm not the only one!

Do you get guys saying "You just haven't had it done right"? Annoying.

[playwithfire]

I love it, but for various reasons it doesn't happen very often. IUD = temperamental body things. HOWEVER, it is literally one of my boyfriend's favorite things to do in the entire world. Which is great because it sucked to want it and have partners who weren't enthusiastic about it. Compatibility matters.

Fuck people saying "You just haven't had it done right." Assholes.

[Sarah K]

Hm... I have an IUD. You're making me nervous! I've heard all of these horror stories recently. But the IUD is my only option, because I am banned from taking hormones.

[aggroculture]

I prefer giving oral than receiving. Getting a great blowjob is quite rare, at least in my experience.

[playwithfire]

Hm... I have an IUD. You're making me nervous! I've heard all of these horror stories recently. But the IUD is my only option, because I am banned from taking hormones.

There are MANY things I love about having an IUD. But, FOR ME, it's very very very easy for things to get screwed up down there. Not like epically screwed up, but I'm the kind of chick that likes to be super clean down there if anything is going to happen and having things be off makes it a no go most of the time.

I've had this IUD for almost 4 1/2 years and other than that and the SUPER HEAVY periods (that are basically not crampy and I was aware were going to be a thing) it's been great. I'm switching to the pill though. Took the first one today.

[Sarah K]

I've had mine for almost a year and a half. The first 6 months, the cramps were so, so bad. But I had never had a cramp before that. Now, the cramps have basically subsided. But periods are still heavy.

I've had two friends who have recently had to have theirs surgically removed. Makes me slightly nervous. But I have had zero issues minus the initial cramping.

[playwithfire]

I think that's normal. I had a similar transition. But it's been years fine. If all goes well, I should be getting mine out in a month or so... I hope the pill doesn't fuck with my sex drive.

[playwithfire]

Also, more on topic: Sex with my boyfriend is really good. Holy shit. 10/10.

(I got laid today.)

Also, is it weird that one of the only things I like about having a period is period sex? Because DON'T CARE IT TOTALLY IS. PERIOD SEX IS AWESOME.

[Sarah K]

Unf. YES.

My hormones are always like HUMP EVERYTHING! LOOK AT THAT GUY - I BET HE HAS A DICK.

Super, *super* annoying. Someone should lock me up during my period.