The Fucking Thread

[jessamineny]

I never went to any of those parties at comic cons. Purely hypothetically of course, how would I get to one of these in Philly?

asking for a friend.

You would have to already have a friend.

The BDSM parties I went to were private, invite-only events. People came from all over the U.S. to attend. I left "the scene" at large almost a decade ago, so I have no idea if they're still ongoing.

[Digital Twilight]

You should see my +2 mace

[Sarah K]

Ugh... I have yet to dive into the world of play parties and such. Something about it seems off-putting to me, but I'm not sure why.

Like, I feel like I would like to go to observe/learn. But I don't really have much of an interest in playing with a large group of people around. I dunno. I need to get to one and scope it out.

[jessamineny]

I was hesitant, too. I thought it would make me feel too vulnerable... but, funnily, just the opposite was true. I'm not sure about you, but when I play privately, there's always a little piece of me that remains present as self-protection. (What if something goes wrong? What if s/he goes past a limit? blahblahblah) I found that when I played publicly, there was a dungeon full of people watching out for me. I could lose myself in the experience.

[Sarah K]

I think I'd be okay with it as far as the "Hey, please hit me with your hands and these objects" aspect of it goes. And right now I'm REALLY NEEDING that. But when I get that regularly, even that can become routine. I really, really enjoy the psychological/mental/emotional/whatever aspect of play. And to me, that is extreeeeemely personal and rooted in a LOT of trust with someone. I don't feel too vulnerable when I'm engaging in impact or body play. I feel vulnerable when someone is fucking with my head, though. Ideally, I can have both at once. And that seems too intimate to me to share with other people, I guess.

I have a bad habit of overthinking things way, WAY too much.

[ophelia_]

How old was your girlfriend at the time that happened?.

She was only a year older than me, so 15.

Or realized that taking a cum shot to the face can be pretty damn awesome

Amen to that, my friend!

He wouldn't even let me give him a blow job.

I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND THIS! Well, I do and I don't... If someone is really shit at going down on me, I think I'd prefer them not to do it. But, just because one person wasn't very good at it, doesn't mean everyone will be bad at it.

I LOVEEEEE giving head, it's my favourite sexual thing to do. Luckily, I've never had a guy not want me to, (touch wood, hur hurr) but even the thought of a guy saying "please don't" makes me sad in the pants. No deepthroat = deal breaker.

Great... This conversation has now made me want penis in and around my mouth and I'm stuck at work for another 7 hours. Gah.

[Sarah K]

I mean, I know that I, and a lot of other women hate receiving oral. You just don't hear about it from men as much

I <3 blowjobs. It was the first and only time I've experienced a guy being like LOL NO THANKS. But I guess I've never really sat and thought about this. Now I understand what it must be like for the guys I'm with when I shut them down in the oral department.

[ophelia_]

Wait, what?? You said you were 16 or 17 when this happened. So if she was 15...that would mean you were 14...

Daaaaaamn, woman. You started fucking early! I'd be a totally different guy today if I had stuff like that going on in my life at 15

Oops, sorry, it's too early for me to understand what you were asking. Haha. I started dating her when I was 14, the squirting thing happened later when I was about 16/17. It was crazy because we'd been having insane sex for so long and after years of no squirting, the squirting thing really fucked with me. Hence her surprise as well.

Yeah, we did start pretty early... when we were 15, we found some hot dude on the internet to meet up with, then had a threesome with him on a park bench. That's how I lost my guy-virginity! Lol. He was like 25 and it was probably the best night of his life... Looking back at that now, it's pretty fucked up. But you don't think of the age difference as being a bad thing when you're that young. No regrets though.

My friend wants to make a documentary of my sex life, it's crazy the stuff I get up to... Not even on purpose either, it just kinda happens. Hooray for sexual liberation!

[playwithfire]

Ha, really?

[playwithfire]

Ugh... I have yet to dive into the world of play parties and such. Something about it seems off-putting to me, but I'm not sure why.

Like, I feel like I would like to go to observe/learn. But I don't really have much of an interest in playing with a large group of people around. I dunno. I need to get to one and scope it out.

I may be going to the makeout only version of one of those in June, and the awesome queer version of one in the summer.

Talking about this prompted this quote from my boyfriend a bit ago: "I'm all for doing things as a couple, but they don't have to be threesomes and sex parties, we could just like watch plays and eat fondue."

[ophelia_]

Well, I'd be pretty upset if my SO didn't want to participate in the thing I love the most when it comes to sexytimes.

That's something that is generally outlined at the start of a relationship though. It's not like after 3 years of being together, you just say "that's it, you're not doing X for me, it's over".

Personally, if I can't do the thing I enjoy doing the most the first couple of times I hook up with someone, I'm unlikely to hook up with them again.

[allegro]

I don;t think I can compete with a fucking Hitachi vibrator though. It's like an unfair fight. And I generally blame the male side of the house for that because a lot of guys just don't know what the fuck they're doing in the bedroom.

You can be the best guy on the PLANET in the bedroom and you will NEVER cause an orgasm like the Hitachi. Won't happen. However, you can help create a better Hitachi orgasm. The guy who isn't intimidated by the Hitachi in the bed (and who knows how to use the Hitachi to his/her benefit) is the best lover.

If my SO didn't love my vibrator, I'd kick him to the curb. My vibrator has a NAME. He's part of the FAMILY.

[playwithfire]

Well, I'd be pretty upset if my SO didn't want to participate in the thing I love the most when it comes to sexytimes.

That's something that is generally outlined at the start of a relationship though. It's not like after 3 years of being together, you just say "that's it, you're not doing X for me, it's over".

Personally, if I can't do the thing I enjoy doing the most the first couple of times I hook up with someone, I'm unlikely to hook up with them again.

No, I meant NYRexall.

It being a dealbreaker in terms of GIVING is one thing, it being a dealbreaker in terms or RECEIVING strikes me as more complex and more difficult.

I ABSOLUTELY have dealbreakers, but I think if I wasn't monogamous I'd have less of them. What I can't get in one place I could get somewhere else, I guess.

[ophelia_]

Oh right.

Yeah, at first when I read it was a dealbreaker for him, I was a bit like 'wtf', but then I realised it's the same thing really. I can have expectations of giving head just as much as someone can have expectations of receiving head. It sounds selfish at first glance, but sexual compatibility is pretty important. What stuns me, is when people complain about their partners not doing something for them. Well, you've been together for 3 years, if she didn't do that then, why would she suddenly start now?

Urgh, I can think of nothing worse than that when it comes to being in open/poly relationships. Partner X cant do this very well, so I'll just go to Partner Y that can... Yeah, I'd prefer to have a partner who can do both of those things really well, but that's just me.

[allegro]

This goes hand in hand (ha) with my stance behind jerking off providing me better orgasms than actual sex.

Even with a vibrator, she's just masturbating herself. She's basically in control of the outcome. You don't generally get that with sex.

No, I think it's different than that. A vibrator is more powerful stimulation. It's like a rocket ship. I don't know that guys can even handle that kind of powerful stimulation. We can have multiples, with very little recovery. I think if you guys had this level of stimulation, you'd die.

But, say, you are digitally stimulating her G spot while she is stimulating her clitoris with Mr. Hitachi. That's going to provide her with a level of Rocket she's not going to be able to obtain on her own very easily. Or, say, you are fucking her from behind while she is stimulating herself with Mr. Hitachi. The Rocket Ride is gonna go off wayyyyyyyyy better than when she's alone with Mr. Hitachi.

[playwithfire]

I think it depends on the thing/person.

My dealbreakers are basically selfishness and closemindedness. Do you get disinterested in what's happening right after you get off? No thanks. I don't want to get off first everytime and fuck all of that heteronormative bullshit. I cannot stand guys who have the mentality of sex being over once they come or just not being into it anymore.

But if I have multiple partners, I think I can get awesome different things from different people.

There are things my boyfriend would get with another partner that he doesn't get from me. If we were poly, I'd encourage that. Like, he'd dig getting with a submissive chick.

I think NYRexall can have no deepthroat be a dealbreaker if he wants, hell, go for it. I just feel like something like that would limit his pool a surprising amount.

Also, I can deepthroat, though I'm very rusty, but it's never been the deepthroating that has gone over the best out of the oral I've given. It's been when I put my hand in front of my mouth and rotate my hand while I'm doing the same sucking motion over and over. Which I guess is pretty standard? It just surprises me to have that be so important. So I was curious if it was a joke?

But in terms of the poly thing: People differ in so many awesome ways sexually and I think it's great that I can get different things from different people.

On another note: I'm queer, I like guys A LOT, but I have so little interest in a super "straight" dynamic when I'm with a guy. No thanks.

[playwithfire]

no, i think it's different than that. A vibrator is more powerful stimulation. It's like a rocket ship. I don't know that guys can even handle that kind of powerful stimulation. We can have multiples, with very little recovery. I think if you guys had this level of stimulation, you'd die.

THEY DON'T DIE IT'S SO FUN

What I love about hitachi-style vibrators is that it's an almost instant GREAT orgasm with next to no actual effort. I'm frequently too lazy to want to jerk off, and just want to get off, and then I mourn never having it charged.

[Sarah K]

So you just don't like oral in general, or you're turned off by it because the guys you've been with are generally terrible at it?

UNSURE

I think that we've discussed this before. It just has always been really boring to me. It does NOTHING in terms of turning me on. I'm really submissive during sex. So when I'm not doing something FOR him or being of use to him, I get really nervous.

Sex is supposed to be my escape/stress relief/way to not do drugs. So I don't want to think and over analyze during sex - which is the only thing that receiving oral does to me.

[Kyle]

This goes hand in hand (ha) with my stance behind jerking off providing me better orgasms than actual sex.

Even with a vibrator, she's just masturbating herself. She's basically in control of the outcome. You don't generally get that with sex.

No. Just no. Jerking off isn't even close. And I think it's for that exact reason. I know what's coming next because I'm the one in charge. There's no excitement.

[allegro]

For some, oral is just foreplay. For others, oral is better than intercourse. Neither is the correct answer.

[playwithfire]

My boyfriend isn't dead and I have definitely used one of those things on him.

I really hope he isn't dead. Please no.

[playwithfire]

UNSURE

I think that we've discussed this before. It just has always been really boring to me. It does NOTHING in terms of turning me on. I'm really submissive during sex. So when I'm not doing something FOR him or being of use to him, I get really nervous.

Sex is supposed to be my escape/stress relief/way to not do drugs. So I don't want to think and over analyze during sex - which is the only thing that receiving oral does to me.

I love receiving oral, but I actually kinda get where you're coming from.

I remember talking to my boyfriend about him like... tying me up and doing whatever he wanted to me... and I figure out that what he'd want to do would be go down on me and I was like NO THANKS

Or sometimes when we'd fuck I'd be like "Do what you want to me." and he'd start do some something foreplay-ish to me and I'd be like WTF. Because "Do what you want." obviously means "Fuck me."

[allegro]

My boyfriend isn't dead and I have definitely used one of those things on him.

you misunderstood. I said the female orgasm would cause a male to die from the intensity.

Again, it's an unfair fight.

You're wired WAY different down there than we are. You think I wouldn't kill to have a G-spot (that wasn't my prostate) or a clitoris? I'd give my fucking arm for either or both.

Oh, I'm sure you would! LOL. But, I'd kill to have a dick for a day. First thing I'd do is pee outside. I'd write my name in the snow.

And to assume that all guys can't handle multiple orgasms, have little stamina for recovery or handle a certain kind of stimulation is a little arrogant.

I've had TWELVE in less than 1/2 hour with Mr. Hitachi. Your equipment can't do that. That's just plain ol' science. But there's a reason for that, too; it's to get us to push a 22" baby head through our snatch.

And a lot of it depends on her. If a woman I'm with is a tiger between the sheets, I'm more than happy to go all night with her. If she's creative, I'm more inclined to be open-minded to her wants and desires. But if she's just all "Oh god, me so horny, fuck me fuck me eat me", then yea...my interest is pretty much on the wane.

Yeah, well, I don't blame you, there, LOL.

[Sarah K]

Someday, I'll have a boyfriend who isn't terrified of sex toys. It is basically my only life goal at this point.

GODDAMN IT I AM SO FRUSTRATED

[playwithfire]

you misunderstood. I said the female orgasm would cause a male to die from the intensity.

Oh man, yeah, those are crazy.

[ophelia_]

But in terms of the poly thing: People differ in so many awesome ways sexually and I think it's great that I can get different things from different people.

On another note: I'm queer, I like guys A LOT, but I have so little interest in a super "straight" dynamic when I'm with a guy. No thanks.

You're completely right, and I definitely understand that. I, myself, am completely incapable of being in an emotional relationship with someone and doing things with other people, unless we're both fucking the same person. I feel guilty if I fuck someone else, and then jealousy nags at me if they fuck someone else... But if we both fuck the same person, then it's fine.

If I find myself in a slutty period, then yeah, I'll see this guy because he's really good at giving head and if I want to be fingered really fucking amazingly, then I'll go to that chick... I understand that way of getting different things from different people. My brain just won't let that happen when I'm in a relationship because I'm inherently too monogamous. Which kinda sucks, but it is what it is.

[allegro]

Oh man, yeah, those are crazy.

More specifically, the female clitoris being stimulated by Mr. Hitachi would make him die from the intensity

[allegro]

I say it is, but I'm only speaking for myself.

I agree with you, for whatever THAT'S worth. So does Mr. Hitachi.

[Sarah K]

God... fucking WHILE using the hitachi. That sounds like the best thing of all time ever in history.

[playwithfire]

FINE I'M CHARGING MY VIBRATOR.

Because I need to do that.