The Fucking Thread

[allegro]

as someone who also has been obsessed my whole life with worries about getting STDs, I'd like to play devil's advocate
though it doesn't stop me obsessing, I do realize that these fears can be overblown sometimes
I will never forget the doctor who told me, when I was getting one of my MANY HIV tests, in my 20s, that "if you want to get HIV you have to try really hard." If you look online there is a ton of people worrying about STDs (usually HIV) and some very weary responses carrying the same message: your worries about HIV are medically ungrounded and irrational please stop

I think it's generational to a degree: I grew up learning about AIDS and sex pretty much side by side, so that in my teenage mind sex=death. And yes I know there are lots of other STDs besides HIV.

Of course I believe in protection, as much protection as possible, always; but I also realize that obsessing about this issue can be very damaging and detrimental to one's emotional well being, and can go beyond the practical and the rational and into the self-destructive. At least that has been my case

My little brother got HIV from sharing a needle and doing drugs, otherwise I know a lot more people who got HPV, Hep C and Herpes from the free love 70s and pre-AIDS 80s than anything else, and you can get some of that shit even WITH protection. The only sure protection is self-love.

[Dra508]

I think it's generational to a degree: I grew up learning about AIDS and sex pretty much side by side, so that in my teenage mind sex=death. And yes I know there are lots of other STDs besides HIV.

There was a time when there was no treatment. HIV = Death. It's unfortunate that we had to scare the crap out of everyone to change behaviors and be safer. I totally agree with @sarah K that it's just a turn off today not practice carrying that on.

[Sarah K]

I was born in 1984, so there was for sure a lot of talk about OMG THE AIDS talk growing up. But honestly, AIDS is kinda the least of my worries. Maybe that's ignorant, but I'm much more worried about HSV2.

[playwithfire]

Barriers generally don't do all that much to protect against it, sadly. I don't want to get it, but yeah. Getting an oral STD kinda freaks me out. I've never had my throat swabbed, which I should some time.

I watched this movie about a lesbian/queer burner camp the other week, which has a giant play party each year where everyone wears gloves and stuff (because safety) and I got all "why can't everyone be chill about safer sex ." Latex gloves are sexy.

Also they introduced me to Reid Mihako's elevator speech, which is my new favorite thing: http://reidaboutsex.com/safersexelevatorspeech/

[The_Prowler]

I may or may not be getting some soon... we'll just have to wait and see.

Never mind, forget I said anything... it's probably not happening.

[botley]

Last night, my partner and I both got WAY too drunk to fuck, but we fooled around a bit hungoverly on the couch this morning, with a promise to pick it up again tonight after work. Romance!

[The_Prowler]

Last night, my partner and I both got WAY too drunk to fuck, but we fooled around a bit hungoverly on the couch this morning, with a promise to pick it up again tonight after work. Romance!

I can just feel the romance emanating from this post...

"I'm too drunk and hungover to have sex, but I still want to touch your naughty bits... let's continue this later tonight when I don't feel like I'm about to hurl all over you."

[botley]

Pretty much. "Hi honey, how was your day? Feeling better? That's good — just going to wash a bit of the 14-hour workday off, and we can get back in bed." (super-gooey multiorgasmic goodness ensues)

[Dra508]

I was born in 1984, so there was for sure a lot of talk about OMG THE AIDS talk growing up. But honestly, AIDS is kinda the least of my worries. Maybe that's ignorant, but I'm much more worried about HSV2.

I'm so old and been out of the touch I don't know what the fuck HSV2 is...


On topic, I'm getting busy tonight as long as I don't have more then a glass of wine. Jet lag.

[allegro]

I'm so old and been out of the touch I don't know what the fuck HSV2 is...

Herpes simplex virus 2 = genital herpes

Edit: Mayo Clinic

[playwithfire]

2 or 1 can be genital, or oral, but yep.

[Dra508]

Herpes simplex virus 2 = genital herpes

Edit: Mayo Clinic

Gawd dam acronyms. I have to many of those in my professional life to now have to follow STDs with ones. Ah, see what I did there.

[ophelia_]

SHARK WEEK IS OVER.. and now I have a week of oral sex to make up for. Not leaving the house this weekend, goodbye world!

[theimage13]

SHARK WEEK IS OVER.. and now I have a week of oral sex to make up for. Not leaving the house this weekend, goodbye world!

Aw, but I'm in Sydney this weekend.

Also....it was shark week? Damnit. I even had a decent TV at this hotel. I knew I shouldn't have gone outside and looked at actual nature.

I feel like I had something actually related to this thread, but it's totally gone now. Note to self: don't start posts with wise ass comments before getting to the point.

[Charmingly Miserable]

I've been having the best sex of my life for the past month or so.

[ophelia_]

Is anyone else really bad at dirty talking? I never know what to say... I can think all these dirty things in my head, but can't express the same creativity when it comes to verbalizing them, so I end up just saying the same kind of things every time.

[Charmingly Miserable]

No way. I'm good at it. I'm such a dirty girl.

It doesn't matter if you say the same things over and over. You're having sex; not writing a novel. Just keep a handful of dirty things to say and rotate them once in a while.

[eversonpoe]

Is anyone else really bad at dirty talking? I never know what to say... I can think all these dirty things in my head, but can't express the same creativity when it comes to verbalizing them, so I end up just saying the same kind of things every time.

did you read the story about when my wife said "french soup" out loud during sex (she doesn't swear very often and usually only during sex) and i thought she had said "fridge soup" and we both cracked up while we continued boning? yeah, that was hilarious. but we're both really bad at dirty talk, so we don't even try it.

[The_Prowler]

I've been having the best sex of my life for the past month or so.

No way. I'm good at it. I'm such a dirty girl.

It doesn't matter if you say the same things over and over. You're having sex; not writing a novel. Just keep a handful of dirty things to say and rotate them once in a while.

Your man is such a goddamn lucky son of a bitch

[Digital Twilight]

I've been having the best sex of my life for the past month or so.

That makes two of us

[Sarah K]

I love RECEIVING dirty talk, name calling, etc. But yeah. I'm hella awkward when it comes to saying it back. Unless it's texting. Haha.

[Magtig]

PSA - The nice TSA lady at the airport told me that big rubber dildos show up as bombs in the x-ray machine.

[icklekitty]

Even if they're shaped like the Eiffel Tower?

[halloween]

Yikes, that's...funny...?

As for dirty talk, I'm not one to dirty talk at all. I love hearing the heavy breathing and if I don't have to be quiet, I can't help but to moan here and there. The most I'll say is like "Keep doing that" or "Don't stop". Just as instructions really, but I'm all about non verbal communication when it comes to sex and getting turned on, hehe. In the end you gotta find what you're comfortable with, what keeps you in the zone and not feel self-conscious about it.

[Sarah K]

I'M SURE! It looked fun. Until one of them gets pregnant or gets herpes or some shit. I know this dude is going to want to go out/want to play this weekend and I'm gonna be like NOPE. I realize that his unsafe sex practices don't influence his sadism. But it really just changed how I look at all of them. And with him, I can no longer view him in the same way, so I won't be able to take beatings from him without that previous level of respect I had for him.

I'm being a bummer!

UPDATE: Once I stopped messing with him, he began telling everyone that we fucked.

Am I in 9th grade?

[playwithfire]

The amount of butthurt in response to this article is both hilarious and depressing: http://jezebel.com/is-it-selfish-for...wit-1693419066

Funnily, I'd probably be totally down to date a chick where I just went down on her, so long as the relationship was casual and I had other partners.

[telee.kom]

It's baffling to me what things are considered news nowadays

[Dra508]

The amount of butthurt in response to this article is both hilarious and depressing: http://jezebel.com/is-it-selfish-for...wit-1693419066

Funnily, I'd probably be totally down to date a chick where I just went down on her, so long as the relationship was casual and I had other partners.

To me, that's part of the issue with the article. Her tone is that she doesn't give a shit about his organism. your response says what her article doesn't give us - what would that guy do? Just eat her and go home? Or eat her and have another partner to get him off?

I wonder if the whole Vice thing isn't just trolling. Written by a man, posing as a woman, trying to prove some belief of his and turn the genders in the story to prove it.

[DigitalChaos]

Gawd dam acronyms. I have to many of those in my professional life to now have to follow STDs with ones. Ah, see what I did there.

They are called STI's now.

[playwithfire]

To me, that's part of the issue with the article. Her tone is that she doesn't give a shit about his organism. your response says what her article doesn't give us - what would that guy do? Just eat her and go home? Or eat her and have another partner to get him off?

I wonder if the whole Vice thing isn't just trolling. Written by a man, posing as a woman, trying to prove some belief of his and turn the genders in the story to prove it.

I think they were farming butthurt.

Honestly, I used to have kinda judgey views about guys who didn't go down on women. But, this was because I'd been with people who'd neglected my own pleasure. Like, "Oh, you'll get your dick sucked, though." I was frustrated because I was fucking people for whom sex was over after they got off and dumb shit like that. I remember how I literally went down on a guy (we were both tested and not really getting with anyone else) for so long that I CUT MY LIP AGAINST MY TEETH FROM THE FRICTION OF SUCKING. I'm so glad I don't fuck selfish/super negatively hetero-normative people anymore.

But like, people can like what they like. If you don't like it? Don't bang them. It's okay to dislike giving oral, it's okay to feel whatever about whatever.

Shit, be selfish in bed, but be honest about it and make sure your partner is cool with it. Don't be a dick.

And the "BUT WHAT ABOUT THE MEN/GOOD LUCK OWNING THOSE CATS/HOW DARE SHE HOW DARE A SINGLE DICK GO UNLOVED" responses are depressing and ridiculous.