The Fucking Thread

[allegro]

I have heard of that, too, and I think the prior guys were probably faking it just to make her stop.

[Sarah K]

why hello there...

*dies*

short of donkey punches and such, there isn't much i wouldn't do sexually

*dies again*

[slave2thewage]

So, my friend wants to try out man-on-man fun with me. I better bring my A game to this one.

[Khrz]

I have heard of that, too, and I think the prior guys were probably faking it just to make her stop.

Ahahahah no, I don't think so. And despite my criticism, we were probably both the problem in this case. Both of us had spent the previous years with partners who just "got us", sexually. When we met each other it took us a while to realize that even though we could obviously find common grounds, we just didn't understand sex the same way. Our needs and priorities were at odds with each other, and our mutual approach for sex felt dispassionate to the other.
I needed a slow build-up leading to rough sex, she wanted a good fuck then cuddling for an hour.

So it's not so much a matter of her not wanting to learn, but that for years she didn't have to. Similarly, I was quite frustrated with the fact that I just couldn't go down on her "successfully" because she'd be done and numb after one orgasm.

Plus she's an awesome girl and I don't want to diss

[miss k bee]

1 week and 4 days till I return to Berlin for much needed stress relief

[Sarah K]

Last week, I had the first sexual encounter of my life where neither one of us had an orgasm.

Feels bad, man.

[elevenism]

i still can't hardly have sex because of the compression fractures in my back, and i am concerned about the long term effects that this time might have on my marriage. :/

[ldopa]

Last week, I had the first sexual encounter of my life where neither one of us had an orgasm.

Feels bad, man.

that's when it's time to bond over sandwiches and reassure each other it's cool, and "maybe next time things will go right."

[Sarah K]

Hahaha. We're cool. We are actually really good friends.

[Dra508]

I learned what a blimpkin was and I'm calling bs, not a thing.

[Sarah K]

Totally a thing... Dudes will pay good money for that shit.

SEE WHAT I DID THERE?!

[ldopa]

if you are hella relaxed, shit happens.

or drugged up o_0

[Dra508]

Totally a thing... Dudes will pay good money for that shit.

SEE WHAT I DID THERE?!

No way. I'm not a guy, but it just seems like two different opposing feelings that happen at the same time. Whhhhhhhyyyyy?

[Lew]

I needed a slow build-up leading to rough sex,

i am actually shocked by how hot i find this statement. cheers, Khrz. lol.

[the duder]

Very proud of myself, yet somewhat confused - I haven't masturbated since my wife and I got married. Before we got married, and this is YEARS in the making, I was growing concerned with the fact that I'd fantasize about a handful of other women that I'd previously slept with. Make no mistake - my wife and I have incredible sex. I just started wondering about how honest I was being sexually, primarily with myself, in the relationship. Like, is it cheating if I am continually (about 1-2 times per week) fantasizing about other women? Is that a form of intellectual adultery?

[Sarah K]

What? No... Everyone fantasizes.

[the duder]

Sorry...let me clarify: I still do find myself fantasizing from time to time. I totally understand that the whole fantasy bit is a subliminal, hard-wired thing in my DNA. However, I'm finding that it has become easier to recognize, and interrupt, the thought patterns behind what starts as a fantasy and ends with me jerkin' the gerkin', then feeling guilty. I was just wondering if THAT was weird.

[playwithfire]

I've got some annoyed and hard to articulate feelings about how being a chick in a straight relationship basically defaults you to being the bottom (as in, receptive). Anatomy is dumb. And yes, perfectly aware that strapons exist, but let's not ignore the societal expectations/norms around this.

edit: Oh, and found this thing from Dan Savage, which is great:



I have a partner who is actually really wonderful about this, and our sex life has always had a lot of variety in terms of what "sex" means at any given time, and it's really important to me. But, there's still some frustration with society and bleh. I've always been fine with my anatomy (still am) but lately I've been kinda wishing my parts could be penetrative instead of receptive with greater frequency, I'm just so much more down for that.

[Sarah K]

Sorry...let me clarify: I still do find myself fantasizing from time to time. I totally understand that the whole fantasy bit is a subliminal, hard-wired thing in my DNA. However, I'm finding that it has become easier to recognize, and interrupt, the thought patterns behind what starts as a fantasy and ends with me jerkin' the gerkin', then feeling guilty. I was just wondering if THAT was weird.

I think the only thing "weird" about this is you feeling guilty.

[Dra508]

Sorry...let me clarify: I still do find myself fantasizing from time to time. I totally understand that the whole fantasy bit is a subliminal, hard-wired thing in my DNA. However, I'm finding that it has become easier to recognize, and interrupt, the thought patterns behind what starts as a fantasy and ends with me jerkin' the gerkin', then feeling guilty. I was just wondering if THAT was weird.

Are you feeling guilty about the fantasy or the jerking off?

As @Sarah K said, everyone fantasizes, I think it's more about if it every got in the way of your relationship or sex with her - do you have to think about someone else to get off.

Now, thinking fantastically, I don't think is an issue. IMO - hey wouldn't it be interesting if there was more than just us here - oh mah gawd she's so good at that - uh uh uhuh - I'm done.



Note: people are different about masturbation and relationships. I don't have it all figured out myself, but I don't think pride in NOT is where you want to be. I suspect, as is the case for me, you're too busy having sex with another person to want to go solo. KnowwhatImean? I know some folks actually have a jealousy thing about it. Why would you want to go solo when you can have meeeeeeeee?





Also, someone help me with why Dan Savage says Boy and Woman? I do appreciate @playwithfire 's share up there. It's mighty true.

[ldopa]

masturbation is as natural and second nature as breathing. i would say the fantasy is the 'guilt.' but it's also the excitement, don't quit it. fantasy is (almost) the only thing we have left in the world that belongs to us and us alone.

also, i'm 2 days into learning belly dancing, i hope it works out for me and my FWB. i'll do anything to make my man happy.

[FernandoDante]

I've got some annoyed and hard to articulate feelings about how being a chick in a straight relationship basically defaults you to being the bottom (as in, receptive). Anatomy is dumb. And yes, perfectly aware that strapons exist, but let's not ignore the societal expectations/norms around this.

For a second there, I read "Adam Savage" and thought, "wow this mythbusters guy sure knows a lot about a lot of stuff!"



So I used to check this thread while I wasn't fucking, then feel depressed. Then as soon as I started having a sex life again I completely forgot about coming here. Funny how that works.

[Khrz]

I think the only thing "weird" about this is you feeling guilty.

I agree, everyone does fantasize about their own past sexual or romantic encounters, it's the best library, it has everything : intimacy, feelings, familiarity...
You can't share that with your current partner (well, unless she's very emotionally mature and grounded), but it's natural. There's nothing to feel guilty about.

The only time it becomes a problem is if you find yourself thinking about those times with actual nostalgia, missing the sex you had back then, or the understanding, or the intimacy... Then you need to do something about your couple and start communicating ASAP.

Otherwise, if you're simply replaying your own Super 8 reels for the fun of it, there's really no reason to worry.

[eversonpoe]

I agree, everyone does fantasize about their own past sexual or romantic encounters, it's the best library, it has everything : intimacy, feelings, familiarity...
You can't share that with your current partner (well, unless she's very emotionally mature and grounded), but it's natural. There's nothing to feel guilty about.

The only time it becomes a problem is if you find yourself thinking about those times with actual nostalgia, missing the sex you had back then, or the understanding, or the intimacy... Then you need to do something about your couple and start communicating ASAP.

Otherwise, if you're simply replaying your own Super 8 reels for the fun of it, there's really no reason to worry.

i would argue it's also potentially problematic if you're thinking about it during sex with your partner. fantasizing while masturbating is one thing, but fantasizing during two partner intimacy is a different story.

[Khrz]

Well, yeah, I might have misunderstood what was @the duder 's concern, but it sounded like it was only related to masturbation...

Of course, having sex with someone while dreaming you're actually fucking someone else is a very different problem, that much is obvious...

[ldopa]

it's a bigger problem if you're fucking someone and fantasizing about someone you both know. bad shit. if you're doing that, it's time to have a state of the union.

edit: if you're in a loyal relationship anyway.

[icklekitty]

Is "state of the union" slang for a threesome?

[eversonpoe]

Is "state of the union" slang for a threesome?

what about an "inauguration"? is that when the "president" is sworn into the "oval office"?

[kel]

edit .....

[Sarah K]

Tony says hello.