Originally Posted by
niggo
I'm in a relationship where I'm not fully sexually satisfied. I don't know. It's a long-distance relationship, we're together for almost two years now and see each other every four weeks or so. We get along super well, but when it comes to sex we maybe just aren't as compatible as I initially thought.
Little backstory: She's my first girlfriend and she also took my virginity – I'm her fifth boyfriend I believe. I'm 23 and she is 25. She started dating at a young age and she has almost 10 years of sexual experience ahead of me.
In the beginning everything was great. We had a lot of sex and both of us enjoyed it a lot. The first time we had sex she had her first vaginal orgasm, which made me obviously reaaally happy. But ever since those first few weeks, sex got rarer and rarer. Which is a normal thing, I know, but it kinda bums me out nonetheless. Since we're living pretty far apart, we don't see each other that much (like I said, probably once a month for a few days) and when we do see each other, I'm pretty interested in getting dirty.
Unfortunately she isn't nearly as interested as I am. So, while I would love to have sex two to three times in the span of maybe four days when we're seeing each other, she's fine with having sex maybe once. Her sex drive just isn't as high as mine. Which is totally okay, but I really feel that it's dragging me down. I spoke with her about it and she told me that she isn't interested in having more sex but that I could still try to initiate it more often. I don't know, I feel kind of bad and turned off by that. When I know that she isn't interested, why should I persuade her? I wouldn't feel so bad about it if I knew that we were "balanced out" and that she would maybe do this from time to time, too. But, you know, most of the time I am the one interested in having sex.
I also made the suggestion that I would love it if she would jerk me off or maybe even give me a blowjob. But since those activities are still counting as sex, she is not interested in having more of that either. (Speaking of blowjobs: My last blowjob was last year in May, so it's been a full year since the last time. Bums me out, too. I go down on her pretty regularly and I really enjoy it, but it seems she's not interested in returning the favor.)
I don't know, I feel like I'm young and I would love to have more sex and I would like to get more experimental and stuff, but I'm more and more afraid that she's not the right one for that. She's older than me, she has had a lot more relationships and she had the opportunity to really try herself out. Whenever we spoke about it, she told me that she really enjoys our sex. So I firmly believe that I'm the one who is just not satisfied with our sex life.
I don't know, other than that we're great together and complement each other really well. It's just the whole sex thing that's really making me feel bad. I'm afraid sooner or later I have to take the consequences. I also noticed that the more we talk about it, the more we're both getting turned off because neither of us seems to be able to change that much. It's a vicious circle, really.
Man, the whole thing just sucks.